Youngest child and 7th son from a family of nine. I also have large lung capacity and strong diaphragm. They act like I don't have any volume control in normal, private, and phone conversations. I also have other social speaking problems. Coworkers and friends say that I often come in the middle of conversations and interrupt them. I have found out that coworkers are annoyed with this. Even though everyone says I am a nice guy with an extroverted personality and big heart, I notice that people avoid me and don't seem to interact with me. I am working on improving my self-confidence and esteem, but the cold shoulder treatment that I have received from people for the last five years is taking its toll.
2007-02-26 02:18:51 · 7 answers · asked by LuckyMountaineer 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Youngest child and 7th son from a family of nine. Grew up in lower Middle Class working family, and I spent most of my life in the peaceful and surrene mountains of West Virginia. I also have large lung capacity and strong diaphragm. I have an advanced degree in a technilogical and scientific field. I live in Northern NJ and have a great job. But my coworkers are reluctant to interact or have lunch with me on a daily basis. They act like I don't have any volume control in normal, private, and phone conversations. I also have other social speaking problems. Coworkers and friends say that I often come in the middle of conversations and interrupt them. I have found out that coworkers are annoyed with this. Even though everyone says I am a nice, socialable guy with an extroverted personality and big heart, I notice that people avoid me and don't seem to interact with me. I am working on improving my self-confidence and esteem, but I'm getting tired of the cold shoulder treatment.
2007-02-26 03:29:39 · update #1
Yes. You know what caused this because you mentioned it right off the bat!! You were the youngest and had to be loud to get your point across!! Being the baby is hard!! No one listens to the youngest!!
Now concentrate on being quiet. Remember you are Not still a child and you have a bad habit that You Can Control. I have no doubt you can learn to keep your voice at the right volume after you really try.
Then don't resent the last 5 years!! Forgive them and give them the benefit of the doubt. Some people are startled by a loud voice because they didn't grow up in a big family like you did. Be understanding of them!! You CAN do this!! I've seen (or heard) it happen!! Good Luck!! @8-)
2007-02-26 02:34:35 · answer #1 · answered by Dovey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a Psychologist as a Phd! But I have a Bachelor , so I try not to be deeply specific!
As I Understand , Ur Problem is not about Your Self-Esteem or something like that. First of all u should know that some people instinctly and originally have large volume lung(So powerful voice) and it's not absolutely a disaster, However it could be a very important fact (benficial for u) let's say if u start playing Trumpet or Flute or any instrument like that, u will come to admit it if you like music.
Second; You should try to be careful with your interactions and your behavior in some places. I know it's not this easy, but there are tricks that u can use. the best inventor of any trick is you -yourself- by the knowledge of knowing ur workplace atmosphere, u can set some rules for urself , like for any interuption , or for any loud noise that u make. something like that! (u can call for a punishment by urself each time u go astray by any rule)...
I try not be more specific ... if the problem is much more serious for you , I advice talking to a therapist so...
but , u can handle urself I belive with this small one !
Good Lick
2007-02-26 02:39:18 · answer #2 · answered by Parandco 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me it sounds like they mostly don't know how to take your outgoing personality, but if you think there is truely a problem, there is a way I could suggest you work on it. It may take a little work, and it sounds silly, but it can work. Try speaking at the same time you have the television on. Turn the Tv really low, and lower your volume until you can hear the TV over yourself. You can do it with anything that will project a constant noise. The key is to never be louder than the noise surrounding you.
2007-02-26 02:28:02 · answer #3 · answered by The "GG" 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And you question is?
You seem to well understand your situation. You seem to realize that this is caused by some physical things (e.g., strong diaphragm) and also by the fact that you were the 7th and youngest.
If you're looking for some tips, I'd say that you just need to pay attention to this. Don't let yourself interrupt. Deliberately lower your voice.
Try to overcome the need to be heard.
2007-02-26 02:28:36 · answer #4 · answered by Jay 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you shouldn't worry about what people think about you. Try shying away from them and see what happens next. I guarantee when they see that you changed your attitude they are going to say"what's wrong?" People are really incentive and jealous of other people who are out going and nice. I think you should experiment and see what happens. Good Luck. Keep your head up.
2007-02-26 02:26:59 · answer #5 · answered by Jamonican 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Can you whisper? Try replacing your speaking voice with your whispering voice.
2. Seek a speech therapist. Maybe they can help you.
2007-02-26 06:50:07 · answer #6 · answered by sky2evan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey bro
before you start beating yourself up about this....there may be a medical reason of your loud tone of voice...you may have a a hearing impairment that you may not be aware of
2007-02-26 02:44:14 · answer #7 · answered by surveyman5285 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋