My fiance is the most wonderful man in the world..he is very handsome,sweet,romantic,affectionate--opens car doors,holds hands the whole nine..I love him very much! Problem--He has little or no interest in sex at all.Myself on the other hand have a sex drive like Whoa!!So this is a BIG problem with me.We can talk about anything..so i tried on many occasions to talk about it.And he says he just doesnt like to have sex that often-point blank.He says that when we do (which is like twice a month)Its great,which it is to me also and not to be arrogant..I know what i'm doing,i definitley know this..and have tried various diff. techniques on him.He just seems shy about this??I tried talking and taking things slow--like alot of foreplay..but all he seems to want to do is cuddle and snuggle and kiss.I am going insane being frustrated.I am so attracted to this man..and believe me he worships the ground i walk on..and is perfect in every way except he has NO SEX DRIVE!! Any Suggestions..
2007-02-26 02:06:34 · 8 answers · asked by ccrazeegyrl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Great answers..But to add on..He does give me oral--ALOT,and very good at it,and yes at that moment..I have flat out said I Want You Inside Me..and sometimes i'll get it sometimes NO..But yes sex is important to me I am willing to work on whatever.I love this man.
2007-02-26 02:42:50 · update #1
The question is, can you live with that situation for the rest of your life? Because that is the promise you are making if you get married. You cannot change him, you can only change your expectations. Every relationship requires some compromise and this is a big one, if you truly love each other it should be worth it.
If you could have sex without love, or love without sex, for the rest of your life, which would you choose?
Oh yeah, and get yourself some quality toys ;)
2007-02-26 02:24:20 · answer #1 · answered by zmj 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is one thing you should try. When you are engaged in what is, in your perception, foreplay, ask him verbally to have sex with you. Say, "I want you inside me," or words to that effect. Some people require more assertiveness than others -- it's possible he doesn't realize you really want it at that moment. Additionally, if he can't get an erection, or if he doesn't want to have sex per se, tell him you feel very horny and ask him to perform oral sex on you, or manipulate you with his fingers. This might be a method of compromising.
If, however, the above does not work, then my suggestion is that you ask yourself how important sex is to you. If it's important, and if you can't be satisfied by masturbating, then do both yourself and your fiance a favor, and do NOT get married. If the sex is a deal-breaker, then break it off. Do not marry him expecting him to change.
2007-02-26 02:29:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a serious problem. I dated someone seriously and she had really low sex drive. She would not even consider trying anything to improve this nor would she do anything because I would of course welcomed something. She mentioned that her ex and her fought about this very issue. I dropped her like a ton of bricks and she was so mad at me. The fact is that marriage in my opinion is about give and take. There are some things such as lack of sex or an uncaring partner that just are in my opinion too important to just accept.
2007-02-26 10:45:14 · answer #3 · answered by toledogolf 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people just don't have a huge sex drive. It may also be a physical or psychological problem. Have him checked out by a doctor. If he is happy with the way he is then you may just have to live with it or move on. Good luck.
2007-02-26 02:22:22 · answer #4 · answered by mjm52 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you are in love, but I wouldn't marry someone who doesn't feel as strong or more strongly about that matter than I do. If you choose to marry him with the intent that you will change him, don't. Try to get some help now rather than later.
2007-02-26 02:16:46 · answer #5 · answered by Special K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your call if you can lite a fire now.Then don't cry later think it will get better,What you see is what you get.
Better put m---- on hold till you decide.
best of luck
2007-02-26 02:19:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a very long winded question... maybe you talk too much. Shut up and do something!
2007-02-26 02:25:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Tell him EXACTLY what you just told us. Word for word.
2007-02-26 02:22:26 · answer #8 · answered by Ari A 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋