his brother has been gone for a year & 3mos. However, for 2 years he has been telling me just him & I need a getaway without my daugter or other's. We both believe we needed this because we've nearly broken up many times because of misscomm. He tends to make me feel left out or as he puts it "i'll nag until I get the answer I want". The problem is he doesnt listen to everything..he interupts and does all the talking and doesnt let me express myself -the first word i say that he doesnt like he will give me several negative comments toward the relationship that make me feel like he doesnt want it -if I ask about it he gets angry and yells and wants to just walk away. Then later...he'll apologize but never retract the ng comments. He just say "I said Im sorry NOW LET IT GO" but doesnt communicate. Anyway, he just told me that his Sister is going with us to Hawaii on the "alone" vac. WHY...he says his sister deserves it and he may have made a mistake not asking me 1st but tuff she's going.
2007-02-26 01:45:01 · 11 answers · asked by Rain 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
There may be several reasons, but first let me ask this, are you sure your not engaged to my wife? lol Anyway, He sounds VERY stuck on family...it's great to be family oriented, and loyal etc, but it sounds a little deeper to me. If he's not physically incestuous, then he may be emotionally incestuous. That to me just means it is more important to him to please his former family than his new married family. I'm going through it and have for 10 years now. Not sure how to tell you to proceed, because although they sound alike..they are somewhat different as well. If you want to contact me and ask what's up with my relationship, in the hopes it might help you understand yours, please do so I'll be happy to help in any way I can, but otherwise I'll not expand on it here.
2007-02-26 01:55:01 · answer #1 · answered by flashpro 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OOoo this is a sticky one. the thing about it is that you two really need some alone time to try to alleviate your differences to mend this broken relationship. Sounds like if your married your headed for a divorce or if your not then your soon to end this situation if he doesn't change. I don't think he is recognizing what he's doing, something like the death of his brother might be clouding his judgement. There are steps to the grieving process last thing is acceptance. He has to know that his brother is in a better place, and now he can go on with his life not making others feel his agony but cherish them while their still around. How much longer will you be viewes as inadequate or not valid. IF this is your man and your willing to work it out beyond the vacation tell him upfront how you feel before your in a situaton in Hawaii you loathe.
She needs to respect the relationship and probably made him feel guilty which family will do when they are jealous. Tell him she can go another time but if we can't go alone I'd rather be gone when you get back. we have issues that need to be dissolved so we can fall back in love--I'm not happy anymore misery loves company and I almost don't want yours anymore. You girl deserve to be happy if it isn't him...and he doesnt change theres nothing you can do but leave.
2007-02-26 01:55:03 · answer #2 · answered by Diva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did no longer provide specifics of why the marriage is going undesirable yet from what I examine right here it variety of feels that as your looking your self with existence stories and by using therapy you know which you're transforming into greater aside than mutually. which isn't uncommon of human beings who get married youthful. i think of which you extremely need to take a protracted problematical seem at this marriage and notice if it is going withhold the try of time and notice in case you will strengthen decrease back mutually. If it would not appear like this is likely to happen your maximum suitable wager is to diminish your losses now and get out in the previous young little ones and greater stuff.
2016-09-29 22:34:32 · answer #3 · answered by lichtenberger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is still in deep mourning, you will not understand unless you
have lost a close loved one.
He may seem moody. His sister is also in mournin.
You need to just be patient and not say a word at all.
Write a note instead, which will get across better.
I think you all need to take the vacation, daughter, sister and enjoy
some relaxing moments and think positive.
The smell of honeysuckles is suppose to help folks get over the mourning of a loved one. Maybe you can find some air freshner
with that smell if you dont grow honeysuckles in your area.
Be happy and try to understand and most of all think positively.
Stop naggin and just love and support your hubby in all he says and do.
2007-02-26 01:53:22 · answer #4 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't marry this guy until you both get counseling in how to communicate together. If he can't or won't change, you'll have this problem for the rest of your marriage. And that will be determined by how long you put up with his BS.
He thinks that his thoughts and his plans are clearly the most important ones, and your concerns are just an annoyance to him. If he doesn't learn to consider others, you'll be in for nothing but grief.
2007-02-26 01:53:53 · answer #5 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without communication, the relationship is doomed! You aren't married yet, and may want to consider ending things now. You could ask him to go to couple's counseling, and try to learn how to communicate with each other, but it doesn't sound like he'd be willing to do that. He sounds rather controlling, and that's not what you need in a life-time partner. Please, re-think your relationship, for your own sake!
2007-02-26 01:51:43 · answer #6 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to have fun and let him go without you he is leaving you out of decisions and his decisions to invite his sister was very wrong or you can always say you are gonna invite your daughter the whole point was for you both to have some alone time and it doesn;t look like its gonna happen now..
2007-02-26 01:50:52 · answer #7 · answered by Denny O 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
seems like your fiance doesnt really care for you as much as he cares for his own family. Tell him that you guys have to talk and reiterate to him that he has to let you finish what you want to say before he says anything. If that doesnt help, how are you with his family? if you are close to them, seek their help. If not, someone else like a friend or even a counselor. If all else fails, then you have to decided whether you want to live in this kind of situation for a long time or its time for you to move on with your life.
2007-02-26 01:50:44 · answer #8 · answered by Jon 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This guy is very selfish and your feelings are not any of his concern. Is this what you want for the rest of your life? The big question is : is this what you want your daughter to witness and copy when she grows up?. Leave him and find someone who treats you like an equal and can apologize like a man.
2007-02-26 01:51:29 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You & he clearly have problems communicating. Put the wedding on hold & seek couples' counseling.
2007-02-26 01:48:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋