My fiance want to have a threesome because he heard it was fun and exciting... Then he says he has the perfect girl for the job.. Then i ask who this girl is.. He says he does remember or name or where he knows her from. I think he's lying i think the only reason he wants a threesome is because he wants to screw someone else.. I think maybe he's not happy with me. Then he says lets have a foursome so i can be happy... I feel like he wants to break up with me and just doesnt know how to. He's not concerned about my happiness.. i dont wan a threesome or a foursome. I told him how i felt.. I even asked him how he would feel watching a another man screw his fiancee.. you know what he said he wouldnt mind... I cant believe he said that... That really hurt me alot... I couldnt bear to watch another woman sleep with my man in front of me... He says that he would still love me afterwards... Mmmm.. I dont know what to do... can i please have some advice..
2007-02-26 01:37:11 · 25 answers · asked by Kittykat_diva69 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Tell him this is a deal breaker for you.
NO.
2007-02-26 01:46:42 · answer #1 · answered by wizjp 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he can't respect that you're not into this and drop the subject then he's not worth having around. Don't let him pressure you into anything you will regret later. Telling him you want to start with another guy first is an option but could backfire on you as I know some men who would have no problem with that. Just tell him no it's not what you are comfortable with and if he keeps pushing you you need to seriously decide where your relationship is going and if you even want to continue a relationship with a guy that has so little respect for your feelings.
2007-02-26 02:40:45 · answer #2 · answered by rubber ducky 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some people don't get the emotional part of sex and keep looking for new experiences. It sounds like he is bored. If you are not turned on by the idea of adding another person to your bed than you should not. If he can't accept that then give back the ring and split. Don't let him cheapen you by coercing you into doing this. It isn't about group sex being wrong or bad it is about respecting limits. If you don't want to do this you should not because it won't be easy to put behind you.
2007-02-26 01:43:25 · answer #3 · answered by dave k 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Swinging (and yes, whenever a committed couple includes others for sex it is "swinging") is a two way venture; meaning that it has to be both of your fantasy and the idea of your significant other having a great time sexually with someone else has to be as exciting to you as the possibility of you having a great time.
If one of you is in it strictly to get some strange... well, that's the wrong reason (and the reason you'll hear people with bad experiences, because that's why they did it). And it sounds to me like that is his approach. I'd have to assume he is the same selfish way in many other aspects of your relationship, also.
Finding someone to swing with is a joint effort. You don't find someone by yourself, which is what he is wanting to do. You find someone together, because it is and adventure for both of you, not just one of you.
Is he tired of you? Probably not. He's just being a selfish jerk.
2007-02-26 08:26:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
STOP! don't do it. I am speaking from experience. This happened to me about 25 years ago and it was horrible. I wasn't against it like you are though. It was horrible watching the man I loved making love to another person. I can still see it in my minds eye. Before it happened we had been together for six happy years. After it happened I couldn't forget it, I couldn't make love to him anymore and we ended up divorced. If he wants this that bad there has to be something he feels like he's missing. It's not you, it's his insecurities. If he doesn't mind watching another man make love to you that's not normal. Most real men would hate it. Think about it sweetie, there are plenty of men out there that will respect you and love you and not ask you to do this. It will affect your relationship. Good Luck
2007-02-26 01:59:52 · answer #5 · answered by SusiQ 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sexual compatibility is very important for couples. And he has very clearly stated his desires. You also have stated (at least here) your wishes.
You want fidelity (as do many) but he wants an "open" relationship.
I would certainly clear up the matter before marriage (and children).
You cannot change him, if you marry him I strongly suspect you will have a constant nagging feeling that he is "cheating" or wanting too. An agonizing way to live.
As hard as it is, you may have to let go of this one and wait for the one that will be more in line with your desires and needs.
Good luck.
Peace.
2007-02-26 01:46:06 · answer #6 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Thank god. he is only your fiance. Time to get out and now. What kind of life are you going to live, always involved with many unstable characters in your life. I Sure hope yous don't have kids.
Think of it sharing all the possible deceases that any one can have. Sleeping with more than one partners is dangerous.My motto's is " A few moments of Ecstasy is not worth a life time of Misery," Get strong and independent and drop this guy . You are better than this.
Paytair
2007-02-26 02:31:05 · answer #7 · answered by Paytair 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, I view that as a very personal choice or preference and it sounds like it is not something you'd be in to. Aside from having vast differences regarding sex, it sure doesn't sound like he really even cares about how you feel or about the emotional impact that doing that would have on you. I have to agree with the majority of opinions here...run, don't walk..none of this sounds like the makings of a loving, mature committed relationship.
2007-02-26 01:54:44 · answer #8 · answered by Shelly 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are not even married yet and he is asking for more people in the bed?!? Get rid of him but have some fun first. Tell him you are all for the three some and you have the perfect GUY for it. Bet he changes his mind real fast! This guy is a loser, go find a real man....
2007-02-26 01:41:36 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him how you feel. Show him your post as a matter of fact if you are scared you might leave some details out. Don't ever do anything you are uncomfortable with. Respect your body and he should respect it even more! Sex should be between two not multiple partners. That's just horrible and you are risking catching all kinds of diseases.
2007-02-26 01:40:48 · answer #10 · answered by JELLE 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Without getting into issues of him being right, wrong, or indifferent, it sounds to me like him and you are not compatible. You have different views on sex, and you're the kind of person who gets hurt by your lover having a different view of sex. At that point, it doesn't matter if he's right or you're right or your both right or you're both wrong... it would be the same if he couldn't imagine life without a dog and you hated dogs. You have to consider your feelings, and you have to consider his feelings, and you have to come to a conclusion that you can both live with. He does not equate sex and love. You do. And for you, when your lover doesn't equate sex and love, you get hurt. So you need to find a lover who equates sex and love. Since he does not equate sex and love, you need to find a different lover.
2007-02-27 01:35:37 · answer #11 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋