He is dumping me because he "can't afford me" - and he spent nothing on me ( I spent more on him!)

Question

am 27, recently separated with a very wealthy husband who fully provides for me on a high standard. Even before marriage i was well off due to highly paid modelling jobs
However I am going to start erning my own money starting this summer, since I am finishing my MSc in Finance.
6 weeks ago I met and fell in love with the guy who is 5 years younger and a student.
Things went fantastic between us, but last week it went wrong after I said I am getting emotionally involved and like him a lot., now the guy is saying that he needs time alone, he likes me but he "can't afford" a girl like me, i always talk about money directly or inderectly, and he is sick and tired of it. In fact he sais he felt so offended that I made a point that i am used to high life that he doesn't feel like seing me any more.But i never maid him spend on me - i spent on him! I
I told him I am prepared to do whatever it takes to be with him, but he is changed attitude and is very cold now, i said sorry...

Answer 1

Forget it, he is not going to change his mind. Move on...........

Answer 2

Your first mistake was to tell him you were getting emotionally involved after only 6 weeks - that usually freaks guys out. You know the old saying "if you want to get rid of him tell him you love him"? There's a reason there's a saying like that. On top of that, a lot of guys (not ALL guys) feel insecure if the woman in the relationship makes more money than he does, or pays for everything when they go out. I've had guys admit that to me, and I lost a boyfriend because of it too. It's not that you're flaunting your money in front of him, it's just that traditionally, men feel they should be bringing home the bacon, not the woman. Give him some time to come around. If he doesn't...well, that's his loss then.

Answer 3

I think men have some built in idea that they have to be the one to provide for their family. I don't know if it gives them some power play or if it is just "the way it is supposed to be". I think it helps them to feel more like a man if they have the money in the relationship. I think it is pretty sad but whatever!! Your man probably feels a little less of a man because you have money and nice things, and a higher standard of living than he does, not to mention you paying for things for him makes him uncomfortable. He just doesn't want to compeat with that. As much as it is not a competition, he is in a very hard point in life financially, being in school and all. I think if he is being cold to you he isn't worth your time, but if you know he really does care drop him a serious letter telling him how you feel about him and that you didn't mean to make him feel like all you care about is $ and material things. I think this is a major problem since money is a sensitive subject in a relationship and prob. always will be!

Answer 4

Wo Wo Wo!
Hey girl... don't tell a man your inside and outside emotions.

If you love money (for security reasons) you must NEVER show the man that he's the money -box! It is too much pressure on him, and it is hard for his stress wondering 'how will i ever make this woman happy if i ever settle with her'

If he is younger, I think you should find an older mature man who can provide for you, if that's what you want.

If you want independence, then that's a great thing. Because imagine you end up same type rich man, you'll be bored bored bored.

But as i said, just keep it cool. Don't just rush things telling him what you want. Patience is the key for every door you want to open in this life. I want so much too, believe me, but I keep my mouth shut, but open my eyes with the size of football, so nothing runs behind my back, but to get what you want with sweet talk, sweet potatoe, and the man runs to do things for you.........

Answer 5

Perhaps you are being too full on with this younger guy, perhaps you have too much baggage and he is too young to take it all on. Either way it sounds like it was just a casual a relationship based on sex and fun and it's run its course. He is young and it has probably been an experience for him but sounds like he's had a bit of fun and now it's time to move on. You can't have a deep relationship with everybody you go out with. Stop running after him because you are making a fool of yourself.

Answer 6

Dont be sorry. He is intimated by the fact that your used to living the high life and he knows he cant provide it. Maybe he feels he cant compete with it.
The main thing is, youve only known him a short time and if he has gone cold so soon maybe youd be better off leaving him alone.

Answer 7

It sounds like you scared him off hun. I think he feels he is unable to live up to your obviously high standards. he feels he cant provide for you as were by husband number one.
I'd say he's too young for you. move on but next time don't keep talking money.
He probably feels that even if he got you gifts you would judge them by the price and where he purchased them.
I have a sister in-law like that and it is annoying that everything has a price and is not judged any other way. it's shallow.

Learn from this mistake

Answer 8

You are at two different places in life. You are looking for a relationship and he is looking for a moment of fun. He has had his fun and now he has moved on. Do not bother trying to keep him, he has already made up his mind that it is over, you would only succeed in hurting yourself more. Instead, take a few months off from the dating scene and learn about yourself.

Answer 9

Oh well. He's probably a very smart man for dumping you before things got too serious. He probably doesn't want a relationship with such a money hungry person. Money is not what makes a relationship. :) It's nice to have it, but it's not what counts.

Answer 10

Well, do you truly love him, if so, then try to do what he likes
Maybe if he spent on you, but not you spent on him maybe that will make him feel like a true man.Tell him he shouldn't regard the way he sees you but rather if he truly loves you then he should stay and not to dump you.

Answer 11

Keep off the deep end with him until he is ready. Help him out in ecking a more financially stable near future. Then let him make his choice. If you can wait, then its real love.