my husband has the mentality of a caveman. He thinks I am doing this to get away from him later on. That is not the case. My husband has never been able to save a penny. He's made me out to be the bad guy and all I want to do is save the money he cannot.
2007-02-26 01:19:48 · 6 answers · asked by fiend4 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Be honest with him, say to him what you have just said on here. Yes you are married, but you do have a life of your own too, you are not joined at the hip. Tell him each day that you love him and DO carry on saving
2007-02-26 01:24:30 · answer #1 · answered by rockandrollrev 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is the savings account in both of your names?? If not, that may be the reason he is feeling a little insecure. However, if he is irresponsible with money, it may not be a good idea to give him access to it. Let him be upset! That may sound harsh, but that is how I feel. YOU have to prepare for YOUR future! He has shown you that you cannot rely on him to do it, so you have to take charge without concern for how he may feel! Who knows, there may come a time in your life when he isn't there, and you will need that money to fall back on. If you stay with him forever, he will be able to enjoy the nest egg you have created for the both of you. Either way, you are being very proactive and smart about what you are doing! Keep it up!! He needs to get over it! Good luck!
2007-02-26 01:42:12 · answer #2 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand my husband is the same way. He can't save a penny if he knows we have it he will not stop aggravating me until he get it. What I would do is get a post-office box of my own. Then open a savings account and use your new address. He will never know. You have to be the one to look out for both of your futures since he will not.
2007-02-26 01:29:14 · answer #3 · answered by Janst 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer to that question is...
So what if I am... So what...
if the only thing keeping you with him is a few dollars you would need to leave him... does he really want you around anyways...
ask him that...
on the other hand... the way you put this whole thing... it is a bit insulting (even if it is true)... the frail male ego would definitely be hurt by hearing... "you can't save so I have to do if for you"
perhaps you should think of a way to make it sound like you were doing it for him... or that you thought it was a good idea... by attacking his character you elicited that attacking response...
Not that it is warranted... but you attacked his character... so he attacked yours back... If you love your hubby you would build him up... support him... not tear him down by telling him his is inadequate and incapable of saving...
So if you want to save... convice him it is the right thing to do and do it together... as one... like a married couple... don't act like 2 people living together... act as one... a married couple...
BTW... I still think is comment is rediculas... but YOU can only change the situation with YOUR actions... so noodle on what I said... and I hope it helps you...
2007-02-26 01:28:10 · answer #4 · answered by AvidBeerDrinker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two need to sit down and talk about this, before it becomes a huge "ado" about nothing. As long as he thinks it is an account for you to leave him with, there will either never be much money in the account, or you two will have huge fights over it...neither of which is a good scenario.
2007-02-26 01:27:07 · answer #5 · answered by rocketgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
make an appointment to see a financial advisor together... talk about your financial goals together, often it is easier to think about saving if you have a goal in mind, short term things like buying the next car or taking a vacation, and long term stuff like do you want to be able to retire someday or do you want to work for the rest of your life? An advisor can help get these things in perspective for him.
2007-02-26 02:14:49 · answer #6 · answered by zmj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋