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My wife has confessed to cheating on me after the fact that i found out and asked her about. She denied it for 3 days after it was brought to her attention that i knew something was going on. This guy works with her so she sees him at least 3 to 4 days a week due to work. at first she told me she only did it once and gave me a fake name of the guy, then i found out that wasnt the truth, so i kept on asking until she finally told me what i think is the real truth. it happen 4 times with the same guy over a two month span. and hasnt happend for almost 3 months. i asked why and she has no answer. i asked if she cared for him and she said no it was a mistake. i dont know what to do, i have been a faithful husband for 5 years and now this. she begs for a 2nd chance and i feel like i should give it to her because she is my wife and i do love her. i am hurt and confussed any advise on something like this? we plan on going to counseling also.

2007-02-26 01:11:09 · 17 answers · asked by DL 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

we are going to counseling today, she said she was transferring to a new job as soon as she can.

2007-02-26 02:18:17 · update #1

17 answers

If it were me, there would be no second chance. If she loved you so much, she wouldnt have cheated on you...mistakes are easily avoided when it comes to sleeping around. She knew exactly what she was doing. I am so sorry that you are married to a woman like this...does no one believe in being faithful these days?? I would suggest that you guys do get counseling, and see what happens from there. Does she still work with the guy??

2007-02-26 01:16:38 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie 3 · 1 0

if she has admitted that she was wrong that is a good start. she will have to understand that it will take u some time to regain trust for her, there must be boundaries set, meaning u have limits. if u do take her back u have to make it clear to her it is a one time only, and if it does happen again it will be the end. and u have to be prepared to go forward with it, no matter what happens. give her a second chance because she is your wife, and she has asked for it, but know that it could happen again also, doesn't mean it will, but it could. forgive once but u can't keep forgiving betrayal.

2007-02-26 01:21:36 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 0 0

Um? Sounds like you have it already figured out... The fact of the matter is, you are the only one that knows what's in your heart. Don't listen to complete strangers for advice, we don't know you and your wife personally, we don't know your relationship, we don't know your history, we nothing except the few details you dropped in front of us. It shouldn't matter what anyone else would do in your situation, because we're not in it for all of the above reasons. Yes, they may have been cheated on or been the cheater, but in no situation is it exactly like yours. Like I said, you've already made your plans. Just take it one day at a time from there.

2007-02-26 01:18:06 · answer #3 · answered by 81 Honda 5 · 0 0

Well, it is one thing to cheat. But if she gave you a fake name and told you a fake truth then take that as a red flag. It sounds like there is a 100 percent chance that she is still seeing him or at least talking to him. I would keep tabs on her and find out for sure. Then you will have your answer

2007-02-26 01:16:20 · answer #4 · answered by ProudToBeWhite 6 · 0 0

Personally I don't think I could stay with someone that cheated on me. Anytime I wasn't with her I would think about it. I wouldn't be able to trust her at all. But that's me. You have to ask yourself, would you be able to regain your trust for her. Can you look at her and out that behind you and truly forgive her. If so, and you want to give her a chance, go for it. If you can't, there may be no relationship left to salvage. You don't even know if she is telling you the truth right now since she has lied about it so much.

2007-02-26 01:23:12 · answer #5 · answered by scarbados 3 · 0 0

You have a hard road ahead of you no matter what you decide to do... I suggest you find other people who have gone through this same thing and share you pain... because at times you will need to vent and venting to your spouse may not be a good thing...

And friends and family well... you probably will not fee like telling them about this...

I suggest this group...

http://survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp

the folks there are very helpfull...

I think if you go there... and read some... and chat with others there you will know what you have to do...

2007-02-26 01:17:05 · answer #6 · answered by AvidBeerDrinker 3 · 0 0

Sorry mate how can you trust her working at same place as him you ought to tell her you will give it another chance but she has got to change workplace get her to pack it in now while the cats away the mice will play. IF she refuses i'd be dubious even if money tight if you love her you'll both survive till another job comes along

2007-02-26 01:17:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Definitely marriage counseling is in order. She definitely needs to find a new job as well, she doesn't need to be seeing the guy she had the affair with on a daily basis if it's "over"..??

2007-02-26 01:31:33 · answer #8 · answered by rocketgirl 3 · 0 0

You only have to options #1 It's time to get out of DODGE!!! #2 Forgive her unfaithfulness and move on and reestablish the Trust, Respect and Confidence in the Marriage!!!

2007-02-26 01:22:40 · answer #9 · answered by dca2003311@yahoo.com 7 · 0 0

i would go to a marriage counselor, did you ask your wife why she cheated? is she happy? is there a problem in the "bedroom?" that she seeked someone else? Good luck, but see a counselor..and give your marraige a chance. I think everyone deserves a second chance.

2007-02-26 01:17:28 · answer #10 · answered by kamp1963 1 · 0 0

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