Ages, 11 and 9...
2007-02-26 01:08:44 · 15 answers · asked by D.J. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My oppinion is no.., shes going to be distraught and if she's already bitter, it could just end up into a scene that doesnt need to be taking place..
Now if the kids want u there, and have asked u to go, or if u feel u need to be there, then i would ask your ex wife if it was ok for you to be there, and then go by her answer..
Although its sweet of u to want to go.. im thinking her family is going to be there, she's going to be grieving over a dead husband, so emotions are already going to be flying high to begin with.. and you would be an easy target to attack during that moment as people arent thinking clearly at that moment, and u dont need your kids to witness that.. if u got along great with ur ex i would say go for it, but again i would still say u should get her "ok" first.. because that is a very personal and private moment, and your presence may or may not be welcomed there for that.
2007-02-26 01:16:12 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say "no". Especially if there still is a rift between the ex and yourself. What I would suggest is that you should send your ex a sympathy card. I would also mention in it that despite any problems you two may have had in the past it still doesn't negate the fact that she lost someone close to her and you offer your heartfelt sympathy. mention that just because you've seperated doesn't mean that you can ignore her feelings at a time like this.
But not knowing just why she's so bitter you'll have to be the judge on that. DO NOT send the children a sympathy card.....thats stupid. Also....if you decide to go to the service you make sure it's for the sake of the ex and not the kids.
Frankly I think the card to the ex is the best and decent way to go.
2007-02-26 01:57:37 · answer #2 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on your relation with your ex. If she is too bitter, don't. But explain to the kids that you are there for them and would attend but it's a sad time for their mother, so you don't want to upset her. I think they are at an age where they can understand reasons for adult behavior at such times.
You could perhaps go to the service but stay back, out of the sight of your ex for the most part. Just don't surprise her. Whatever you do, let your kids and ex-wife know.
2007-02-26 01:11:24 · answer #3 · answered by strongblackcoffee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
9 and 11 huh? did you do that to commemorate 9/11?
heh....
Do your kids care? Would your wife want to see you there? Would your wife's family be cordial to you?
I would say to send some flowers and then ask if she wants you take the kids for some time so that she can have some time for herself. Or she may need the kids for support so you might not want to jump in the middle of it. If she is willing then you should talk to her about it.
2007-02-26 01:14:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call her and ask first. Depending on the age of the children, ask them is you can come, check with mother first, pay your respects then leave. I am a funeral director. No hurt in asking first to avoid any confrontations as the spotlight is on her husband NOT your past together and yes, it would be for the children's benefit. You are actually showing them you can put your differences aside and being a responsible adult at a difficult time in their lives. You're a good man to even ask the question. Goo Luck Honey!
2007-02-26 01:16:57 · answer #5 · answered by kurt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know in my family everyone would there. Regardless of how things were handled during the living the children should be your first thought. At their age maybe asking them if they would like you to be there and the ex-wife. If never hurts to ask!!
2007-02-26 01:21:08 · answer #6 · answered by wyattj23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As if you stated, there are bitter feelings, I thnk that would be very tacky! The marriage is over and so be it! Has nothing to do with the kids! I think the consensus here speaks for itself!
2007-02-26 01:18:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then take her decrease back to court docket. If she is working, she has to report tax returns and that could desire to be evidence she is employed. Ask for a reevaluation for new child help and that they'll touch her and he or she would be ready to could desire to grant them her information. they have her SS# whether you do no longer, so if she refuses to grant them up, they gets them on their very own. do you know the call of the college she works for. that's all you like. she would be ready to be held in contempt for no longer giving the scientific coverage taking part in cards if she became ordered to. i might basically report for the reevaluation and flow from there.
2016-09-29 22:33:08 · answer #8 · answered by lichtenberger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first you said bitter ex,,, , honest i think it do more harm than good, reason being, she bitter at you, an i dont think she going to let her husband dieing , helping you, you be just adding fuil to the rire, she at this time is hurtting, an who better to take it out on than you,
2007-02-26 01:16:28 · answer #9 · answered by ghostwalker077 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are like me, you will do ANYTHING for your babies. If your kids want you there and need you there, go. Who cares about your ex wife!
2007-02-26 01:28:19 · answer #10 · answered by kimgirlscout 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋