So my boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 5 months. I know it doesnt seem long BUT things progressed very quickly for both of us. We both jumped in with two feet and head first. We moved in together (he was my neighbour for 2 years before we started dating), talked about marriage and having children together and growing old with my parents living next door.
The 1st 3 months of the relationship were out of this world...honestly nothing else in the world mattered except for him. Completely infatuated. One morning I woke up and found that I "didnt love him anymore" this happened along with some depression and some chemical imbalances in my head so my family doctor put me on some anti-anxiety meds. They have done their part but there is still this thought in the back of my head that always asks me "Do you really love him?"
He is everything I have ever wanted genuine, trustworthy (something I have never had before), passionate, romantic, sexy, intelligent etc etc...6 months before I met him I got out of a horrible relationship with a cop that ended up losing his job for abusing me. We dated for a year and when times were good times were OUT OF THIS WORLD! and I think thats why it was hard for me to get over him cause our entire relationship was based on drama. So that being said going from a dramatic relationship to a healthy one 6 months later is quite tough but all in all I think this is the place for me to stay.
All of my friends look at me with my current boyfriend and they say I am completely myself with him and I am usually not like that. I usually am very controlling but for a reason I am completely myself with him. I think I was like that before because my ex's were all meant to be mis-trusted....Anyways. what I am asking is why dont I feel as infatuated for him as I did for my ex...I always wanted to marry my ex until he became abusive but I cant say 100% if I want to marry this one. I just want to know 100% and know that this is right?
2007-02-26 00:55:14 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'd say that some people who have been in a abusive relationship tend to still have feelings for the abuser, even if they shouldn't. All that is needed to solve that is time and someone to talk to. If you're still have strong feelings after such acts to get over him, I'd talk to some higher professional...if you have doubts about your new boyfriend, TRUST your instincts and try to find the root of your feelings. If he's a great guy, he'll give you time...if it turns out you don't love him, let him know nicely so you can both move on. I'd take stuff slow, you guys may be moving too fast and your brain is sending you warning signs to slow down. It takes time to really know a person and I wouldn't rush into something like marriage, etc. because it is the rest of your life that you're planning. Good luck!
2007-02-26 01:03:44 · answer #1 · answered by anomaly16 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters just completely stop thinking about the cop who didn't treat you like you should be treated. if any guy is abusive...then their not worth anytime. you deserve to be treat like an angel...and if this guy is giving you everything you need, wanted, and much more then i would say he's a keeper. but if your not sure about marriage then take your time...don't rush into a marriage that is uncertain. if you come to find yourself not happy with the one your with then move back with your parnets get back on track and think about what you really want. things take time. good luck
2007-02-26 02:17:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters, get the abusive cop out of your mind, put that way past ya.
U better stick with this one unless he is abusive too.
If you are not sure, take time out to think.
2007-02-26 01:03:03 · answer #3 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow i would just give him some more time think about what you would feel like without him, if your'e totally and utterly heartbroken and you couldn't stand to not be around him for too long then maybe you do love him 100%.
2007-02-26 01:03:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First u do a job & develop ur carreer in that job and get a good name with honesty. spend all ur time to develop ur skills to get higher position in job. wasting time with boys is not normal.
2007-02-26 01:10:16 · answer #5 · answered by legal supdt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the rush? Take your time, enjoy life with your boyfriend. He seems like he's treating you like great.
2007-02-26 01:00:34 · answer #6 · answered by Gloria B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to understand if is that what you really want for yourself
try to resolve all the problems who have show in your had
try to understand yourself what you really want
an then after you can understand if you love him or not
understand yourself first then after you can see what type of fillings you have for him
2007-02-26 01:06:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you slow things down you can tell i was like that with my bf at first now thing are OK again just give yourself some space
2007-02-26 01:03:11 · answer #8 · answered by Lady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋