Is there anything left to do with this marriage?

Question

Me and my wife have been married 4 years in march and have been together a total of 7 years all we do is argue at each other its a never ending battle she wants a divorce but i still love even though we dont get along i cant stand to be without her and we have another child on the way I'll admit i said some things i should not have like accusing her of doing things she wasnt I told her i was sorry but she doesnt care and doesnt try to listen i do not want my children being my son and child on the way to be raised in this but i dont want to leave my wife i try to tell her this but she just tells me to shut up and go away is it pointless to continue or should i keep trying please serious answers thank you

Answer 1

There was a reason the two of you got together in the first place. Have you considered marriage counseling? A good counselor can help you get back to that "starting point", but only if you both want the marriage to succeed. It sounds like your wife has made up her mind already, but it sure won't hurt to suggest counseling to her. If she refuses, it would be helpful for you to go yourself just to help you understand how to cope with all of this. If divorce is inevitable, a counselor will advise you on ways to make it easier on all involved, especially the children. Good luck, I hope it all works out for you.

Answer 2

No dont give up.. look marriages tend to go into "funks" that could last for along time, not just a few days.. as long as u can still say u love her, then theres hope.. and the fact that u have children involved u definately need to try and stick it out..also remember she is pregnant so hormones are flying out of wack and women tend to say things they dont mean while pregnant.. i mean her actting as though she is repulsed by u and wanting a divorce.. obviously hasnt lasted to long, or else she wouldnt be pregnant.. someone that cant stand to be married to someone, doesnt risk getting pregnant with their child..

I think u both need some counseling to work on your communication skills because i think that seems to be the biggest part of your problem..and you need to start controlling what u say out of anger.. and sorries only go so far.. u can appologize till your blue in the face but if u keep making the same mistakes over and over, then sorries arent going to work, so if your really sorry for the mean things u said, then u need to stop doing such things..

Dont give up .. do u really think people that have been married for 50 + years didnt find times in their marriage that they would wake up and think, about What ifs, or should i get a divorce, or is it worth it, etc..

U both need not to give up.. u have to figure out how to fix the problems at hand and how to compromise..

Answer 3

Are you always accusing your wife of things she doesn't do because i used to do that to my wife and we seriously nearly got divorced if so seek help cause trust me she will leave you eventually for now just try to be nice with her come on she's pregnant her hormones will be all over place make her a nice tea tonight apologise again for being a fool and mean it try to get professional help for your insecurity and next time you are going to argue go out for a breather think before you speak all the best mate and just keep trying or your kids might one day end up with a step dad

Answer 4

Things are often said in the heat of the moment that are often meant to hurt at that time. Women are more emotioal than men and you really should be more careful about hurting the one you love. I`m sorry doesn`t heal everything. I will testify to that. Your marriage is worth saving especially with a child on the way. Learn to keep your mouth shut unless its compliments right now. You can`t repair if you keep accusing her of stuff she`s not doing.

Answer 5

Keep trying ! You may want to arrange a couple days in a hotel to let her cool and you as well . Try and get a card to say your sorry for putting her through so much . Go out and get her and yourself a promise ring and you both vow that from this day forward you will respect each other and do your best to strengthen the marriage and tell each other what is one thing you want me to change ? Every month that you change that problem ask each other for the second thing you want to change . You two need to understand you cant get mad at each other when they say what they want you to change , just do it or lose your marriage . Start your marriage from the beginning starting when you get the promise rings . Good Luck !!!!

Answer 6

You are talking about your wife and 2 kids, of course it is worth trying. Tell her how sorry you are, and try just about everything to win her back. And next time before you ever say or do anything, THINK IT THROUGH. Do not let the situation out of hand and just say sorry. Sometimes it cause too much pain and damage your wife's self-worth and make her doubt your love for her. Try your best, and be careful next time. Don't forget to be consistant. Be affectionate and understandings. She's pregnant.

Answer 7

Communication........one actually listens...the other shuts up.
(Take turns talking)
I know it's easy to interrupt, when someone feels the
urgency to make a point...(take notes for your turn)

If you can't do this yourself, see a marriage counselor.

She's pregnant and WANTS a divorce?...Oh My!..(Hormones)
....or...it's not yours?

When's the last time you two had tender, touching times?......you may need this also.

Note:
A child should NEVER have to be used to Mom and Dad screaming like "raving maniacs". Take it away from your son....and try to calm your wife....for the sake of the one she carries.

Answer 8

You have it extra tough right now because her hormones are raging due to her pregnancy. I would advise counselling ASAP if you want to save this marriage. I am sure there are tons of issues for the fighting that you are not mentioning here and you both could use a third party to point out some things you aren't aware of. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 9

I suggest you both try marriage counseling and help before giving up on this marriage if at all possible. However if she does not want to work on the marriage even if you ask her to go to marriage counseling then i do not see much hope for the marriage since she is wanting out. Give it one more try and if she still wants out then let her go. Sometimes when you love someone the best thing you can do for them is to let them go. Go to http://www.drphil.com and email him for help in this matter as well. I wish you the best and hope and pray to God above that there is saving to this marriage.

Answer 10

If you still love her...fight for her. Write a long letter expressing your feelings, she has to open it. You have children and I agree that they should be raised in a loving home. Send her flowers, do anything you can. If she resists then do everything in your power to ensure your children come first in your life. Hopefully you can both get past this for the children's sake. I wish you luck, really.