well im 18 and i would really love to have a child with my fiance. we both would love to have one. hes getting his GED done so he can get a job and im going to continue school and get my license over the summer. but if im preg. then i cant have a job for too long. thats the only problem with that. yea i know that my parents are going to think im too young. concidering how im living with them for the time being. but i have wanted a child since i was 15. and ive finally found the man that i want to spend the rest of my life with. (btw, my finace is 17.)i just feel that if we stick together that we can make it through anything. i know that my friends will support my decision. but i dont think my family will. im going to be married by the time the baby comes anyhow. so it isnt like my fiance is going to up and leave me.
but my question to you is.... is 18 too young to have a child? and when did you or your wife have a baby...and what did others respond to it.
2007-02-26 00:25:57 · 26 answers · asked by Nay 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Personally, I think it's too young, yes. BUT, I also think that it really depends on how you feel about it. Do you really think you're ready for a child? It does cost a lot to raise a child - will you be able to provide for one? These are questions you should be asking yourself right now. And not only that - is your fiance ready for it?
If it were me, and this is just my honest opinion, I would finish school first, and get a good amount of money put back. I can tell you from experience that it is VERY hard on both children and parents when you have to live paycheck to paycheck. I would wait until the two of you are more established and are 100% sure you can provide for a child before you make your decision.
You are and adult, though, hun, so it really is the choice of you and your fiance.
Whichever way you decide to go, I wish you both the best of luck.
2007-02-26 00:35:21 · answer #1 · answered by It'sJustMe 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You and your fiance are still really young. I can't say much, because I have baby now, I'm 20 (it was unexpected) if I could have waited until I was a little older and be finished college and have a great job, then I would have been happier.
If you truly believe that you and your fiance are ready to have a baby...and that you two will be together for ever, then why not wait? You'll have plenty of time...you'll have your entire life. It's not easy being a mom. It's stressful, especially when you don't have much money. You want to be able to give your child everything in the world, but you can only get her milk and some clothes!!! It's hard.
I would suggest that you wait. It's hard. You and your fiance should go get good jobs, get married...continue working, save money... and then in a few years, think about it!!!
And as for your family not supporting your decision...you NEED your familys support when you have a child. It takes stress off of you...and it gives you help!!!
Just wait!
2007-02-26 08:43:32 · answer #2 · answered by dreamcatcher 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i had my first child when i was 18 i thought the man i was with was the man of my dreams.. i did how ever have a place of my own and in full time work.. i then went on 2 have a second child at 20.. still with the same man.. 2 years after that my marriage failed and he left.... i'm 29 now and we havn't seen him since the day he left.. i wouldn't change my children for the world but i do wish i had waited that little bit longer.. All i'm saying is u might feel the time is right but is the situation stable enough.. none of us can say ur too young because everyone matures at different stages... 18 is a great age go have some fun b4 u become a parent have holidays parties etc.. even popping down the shops can be a marathon when u have children.. wish u all the best xx
2007-02-26 09:22:46 · answer #3 · answered by smilesthatsme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your situation, I would wait to have a baby. You never know what is going to happen. You need to finish school and get a good job. Your fiance should also work on a career before you even consider having a baby. Just because you are engaged, or plan on getting married doesn't mean that he can't leave you. You shouldnt even think about getting married. I am only 19, with a 9 month old little girl. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years, and we aren't happy. I thought he was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with, but I am the one who is moving out and going home to live with my mother. I just got my GED and am working fulltime to support my daughter. It isn't easy being a young parent. You shouldnt have a baby until you can finacially and mentally handle it. I made that mistake and now I am struggling everyday just to make ends meet. Just because your happy now, doesn't mean you'll be happy forever. You wouldn't want to bring a baby into this world until you can provide unconditionally for it. Its not fair to the child. Please don't do something because you WANT to, do what is RIGHT...
2007-02-26 08:54:33 · answer #4 · answered by Nikki Lee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends more on the reason you're getting pregnant. I sense that you are looking for a source of love and hope that having a cute little newborn to grow up and love you. Unfortuantly this isnt the way it works. Look back on how you treated your parents. Children dont express as much love as any parent deserves. It will be really tough for you. Also think about things like your living situation, how long you two have been together, do you live together etc. Babies are expensive too. if you guys are struggling to make it, a baby will drown you. and this in turn tends to drown your relationship. Carefully evaluate your relationship... you say "If we stick together"... this doesnt sound good. DO NOT try to have a baby to keep the relationship together, it is unfair to everyone involved and will very likely end in a tragic, unhappy situation. On an up note, I have friends that have grinned and bared it and have children as early as eighteen or nineteen and are amazing parents. Unfortuantly many of them are from very supportive families, and at least one has a well paying job.
2007-02-26 09:17:15 · answer #5 · answered by Laura N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes...too young...not only that, but you two need to get yourselves established first so you don't have to rely on others for support of this baby. And it might help to actuallly get married first. And trust me...you may think now that you have found the 'man' you want to spend the rest of your life with - I thought I did too when I was your age...only to realize midway through my 20s how wrong I was - thankfully I didn't bring any kids into that situation. Now at 33 I finally did find the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. But no kids until I'm finally done with my bachelors degree.
Your friends will support you decision because they are young and immature like you...your family won't because obviously they know better.
And trust me...it's not going to hurt to wait a few more years. A former classmate of mine in college did not start until she was 22...she had her 13th baby at 39.
2007-02-26 08:36:43 · answer #6 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I think if you guys love each other that much then you will still be together when you are both out of school and have stable jobs. I wouldn't rush having a baby, all though they are wonderful. You should get your big priorities out of the way before having a child, they require allot of time and money btwn diapers & formula and clothes and basic necessities. It is difficult without an awesome support group behind you to go to school, work, try to get a DL, and everything else as well as deal with a baby.It would make it sooooo much easier on you two if you get those big hurdles out of the way ahead of time, so you have more time to focus on that baby that you want so badly, so that you dont have to juggle btwn it all at once. Hope my oppinion helps.
2007-02-26 08:41:39 · answer #7 · answered by bigred5825 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well I think it is too young. I got pregnant at 18 and had my son at 19 years old. I love my son and I can't imagine life without him, but I would always be jealous of all my friends going to party's and having fun- I missed out. I think you should enjoy having your fiance all to yourself. Go do things together, go on vacations see movies- go to bars when your old enough. Take your time enjoy your life, have the experience now so that when your baby comes you can spend every waking moment knowing there is no other place you'd rather be.
2007-02-26 10:05:35 · answer #8 · answered by kez 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, 18 is too young to have a child. Just take your time and experience life for yourself first. I'm 29 and expecting my first child, and sometimes I feel I didn't wait long enough! Get married, get a job that you love, and go out and have fun! You can't do that with a baby.
2007-02-26 08:32:23 · answer #9 · answered by mmm3977 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well.. im 17, married, and expecting our first daughter in 5 weeks. i would say wait. wait until you can get your own place, get stable with the money, and all that. if youre going to be married anyways, whats the rush? if you wait, you'll be a lot happier. when youre pregnant, you want to get everything possible thats best for the baby. but having a baby, even being pregnant, isnt cheap at all... i mean, im 35 weeks pregnant, and have been living w/ my husband and his parents since i was 11 weeks... let me tell you its been hard, and i cant wait until we can afford a place of our own... but just wait until your married and stable and start saving money for the baby... you'll be happier that you waited instead of having one so young, b4 your married...i dont regret my decision, but if i couldve chosen to do it now (have a baby) or wait... i wouldve waited. Good luck and just make whatever decision is best for you... God bless...
2007-02-26 10:47:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋