How long did it take after you were married to be able to set up a house and have children?

Question

i'm getting married in 2009, and i was wonderng, about how long after you got married did you have to wait to get a house, and have children before you felt you were financially stable enough to provide for children? i'm not in a rush, or anything, i was just wondering what the avergae "waiting period" (so to speak) was. my parents had my sister less than a year after they got married, and then me three years later, but they didn't get a house until i was one, whihc was about four years after they got married. and that was with my dad not having a college education (he's an electrician) and my mom working at a daycare part time.

oh, and both my fiance and i are getting college educations. he's going for history (teaching most likely) and i'm going for costume design and english.

we've budgeted our wedding to no more than 2500, including the honeymoon. but i'm worried because my college is expensive, and i've had to take out student loans (i had a 10,000 dollar loan this year, and even with that it wiped out most of the money i'd been saving since i was 16. now i'm not sure how i'll pay for next year and the following ones.) also, he'd like to be a writer, and is in the process of getting his books published......if they do well, he doesn't want to teach. (yes we know the odds of them doing well, but it's his dream!)

Answer 1

I admire your planning and organizational skills. However, if you wait until you are financially ready to buy a house and have children, you will never have any kids!!

You know that first dive into the pool when you think the water may be too cold, but you know how to swim, and you know your best friend is there... just in case.... That's what you're looking at right now. We had our first when my husband was in his grad program and I was in my 2nd year undergrad.. we needed our heads examined!!!!

But you know what??? everything was fine.... everybody loved having study group at our house / apt. lol I took a year off and worked full time so my husband could finish his Masters. He was recruited right out of school... I went back and finished.. I got to plan my schedule so our son was with one of us and not a day care...

Four months after i graduated our first house was finished and ready to move into.. yes we suffered through that tiny apt to save the money to build what we wanted.. I hate moving, and the stepping stone theory of purchasing homes only works out for RE agents. So our son got his first "big boy" room when he was 4.. old enough to appreciate it.. AND keep it clean... six months later he got a baby sister.

everybody got little league, soccer, ballet, pop warner, swim club, debate team, BEST club, football camps, wrestling camps, tennis camps, science fairs. God, I can't count the sleepovers, and tents pitched in the back yard (my son and his friends) and me waking up at 3am running outside to make sure I had turned off the sprinkler system.. LOL All of the kid's friends wanted to go with us on vacation when they were little. We didn't go to Cancun, we went camping to save money.. but the kids thought it was great. and you've never lived until you've had a s'more on dillon's beach in California while the sun goes down.... and our school loans were paid off before our daughter was born.

Our kids are 30 and 25 now, both have their degrees, both married, both in their own houses. Our daughter just found out that they are expecting their first. She's been talking to her brother and his wife, they are planning a camping trip for Memorial Day weekend and want to know if Grandma & Grandpa want to come. our 3 yr old grandson loves to show his grandpa how he can put up his own tent.

It's the first dive that's the hardest.. the water warms up after that. I promise, and remember....Your best friend is with you.

Answer 2

Well you want to wate at least 3 yrs have fun together buy toys for your self make sure you own your home and cars your out of debt and your jobs are secure as well as your educations are finished.After all thats done kids will come in your lives with nothing to distract you from there need to have all you attichion,money,energy,constant work.Dont get me wrong but mine are almost grown I have 4 and marred the first time with only wanting to be a mom and wife,didnt work out that way.Im now a full time career mom working 40pluss a week and raseing 4 kids.I havent had time for me in 17 yrs.So make sure your willing to not have time for your self before haveing kids

Answer 3

There is no actual time line. Finish your education, get established in your career, and make sure that you are financially able. Most of all, be sure that you are really for the heavy responsibility that raising a child will place on you. If you are not mature enough or ready, this can become a burden. Believe me it will reflect on how well you raise your children!! Good Luck!

Answer 4

I take fertility very seriously and we had our kids first before buying a bigger house. Our house had 2 bedrooms, and it was okay. I was 23 & 28 when I had my kids. Waiting too long can be disappointing; I know couples who were over-prepared and got overtaken by the clock. . I do suggest, depending on your age, that you get your degree, work for a year or so while paying off your student loans and then save some money, have a child and buy a house or vice versa.

Answer 5

we waited 5 years until we bought a home then we had a daughter who is now almost 25 with our first grandchild due in September.we lived in an apartment for a year then we bought a home.before we married we discussed children and after being married awhile 5 years was a excellent idea.i think if your future husband will work and continue his education and you do the same you both can have a bright future. however, if you place GOD first your futures will be much more fulfilling.but why wait till 2009? do it now.get married.

Answer 6

First let me commend you for taking your career into consideration. That on both your part is very commendable. It's important to build a stable foundation to form a family on. Having a good stable job, something you enjoy doing each and every day. Build that first. Get your self a nice house. Make sure you are both financially sound. Not living paycheck to paycheck every month. I am married and have two children and one on the way. We have our days we struggle. I don't know anyone who is living the American dream with no problems. You make it what it is. I don't think anyone is 100% every ready for children. Anything can happen. Just be your own judge for time. You'll know in your heart when your ready. Congratulations on your engagement, and good luck with your family!

Answer 7

If you are waiting until you are financially stable then I would say that you are never going to have a house and children because that never happens. I had a child, then got married and a couple months later moved into our brand new home. We live paycheck to paycheck, but are still able to provide the things that our child needs and some things that he wants.

Answer 8

Each person is different if U save 2 buy a house now it could take a few years cause your credit score has to be good & you need a down payment as for kids that's up 2 U.With Us we rented till we had enough money & by then we had 2 kids so each person is different we weren't in a hurry 4 a house but we truly saved & put it in our special savings account especially 4 the house.Save alot as well cause this was our dream home but now we call it a money pit cause it needs something all the time but we love it lol..Good Luck

Answer 9

1 year.

Answer 10

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. My best advice - finish with your education before you move on to home and family. Without that completed you won't have much of a foundation to begin with. Moving in together in a marriage is a tremendous step I would take time to get to know one another, vacation together have fun fixing up your first home before you bring children into it, because they change everything. Especially financially. I was lucky when I got married we already were in the process of purchasing our first home and our son came five years later so we had plenty of time to enjoy life before babies. Good Luck to you.