what is the difference between a marriage counselor , and sex therapist? and is it really worth my?

Question

me and my wife have a great marriage except for the sex part. we have been married for 7 years. she wants me to go see a sex therapist. what is the difference? and can they really help? it has started to affect me outside of sex though. like self confidence, and it has now consumed my life. the problems we are havin are normal for 18-20 year olds. i should have outgrown them. now that problem is leading to problems i shouldn't have till i am like 80. i have tried everything i have ever researched. a therapist is all that is left. i feel like such a loser asking this question on here like this. this probably isn't the best place to ask a question like this. i don't know. :(

Answer 1

A sex therapist is someone who helps you deal with your sexual issues. A marriage counsellor works on the relationship. It'll probably be fun!

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Many people try to say that sex is not an important part of a relationship, they are wrong. It is of the utmost importance. A marriage counselor deals with all aspects of your marriage and a sex therapist deals with that one thing. Maybe y'all need to see a marriage counselor not a sex therapist. Many churches (if y'all go to church) offer this for free or at a lower cost than most psychiatrists and psychologists. But if at the sex therapists your wife is making comments about your sexual performance and it is hurtful then your abilities will waver. It is hard to sit for an hour every week and listen to how bad you are in bed. Then go home and while you try to do anything to please your partner all those hurtful words and the thoughts of performing are going through your head. You just cannot do it.

Answer 4

What you are looking for is a sex therapist. I am not sure if it is worth the money or not. The only way you could judge would be to set up a preliminary session and judge for yourself.
And it is natural that sexual issues will affect the other areas in your life, but if the sex therapist can help, then the other issues will probably be gone soon after.
Good luck.

Answer 5

RE:
what is the difference between a marriage counselor , and sex therapist? and is it really worth my?
me and my wife have a great marriage except for the sex part. we have been married for 7 years. she wants me to go see a sex therapist. what is the difference? and can they really help? it has started to affect me outside of sex though. like self confidence, and it has now consumed my life. the...

Answer 6

a good sex therapist will look at the outlying issues effecting your sexual relationship. and a good counsellor will also discuss the sexual problems and the surrounding issues effecting your relaitonship.
is it an issue that is triggered by a biological or a psychological issue? if it is purely biological, then a sex therapist is sufficient (or doctor). but if it is effecting your life, as you said, outside the bedroom then i'd be going to a counsellor/psychologist. very rarely is an issue black and white, and you'll probably find that there are other issues needing to be addressed to assist your sexual problem.

find one you feel comfortable talking to, and give it a go. certainly don't be ashamed. it would be more disappointing to not take action to help your marraige and own self confidence and happiness.

good luck.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

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Answer 9

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Women have an extremely busy life in comparison to men. That is not to say that you aren't doing enough but to say that your wife has to deal with many, many issues that you don't necessarily have to deal with. You have already said that both of you have to work to make ends meet and on top of that she most likely takes care of much of the housework, the cooking, the childcare arrangements, the doctor's appointments, the taking children to school, staying up with them when they won't sleep and/or when they are ill, the grocery shopping, the laundry, the clothing shopping, the entertainment for a frustrated child, etc. She may just very well feel that she has to be Super Mom and that the house is never clean enough to keep the children safe and away from harm. She may also feel quilty that she has to work and leave her children to be raised for part of the day by others instead of being there for them which can add an emotional exhaustion on top of physical exhaustion to her everyday life. Men tend to be ready, willing, and able to have sex even when mentally, emotionally, and physically drained yet women tend to feel that when they are mentally, emotionally, and physically drained that their partner should just accept that they can no longer function and sex is just one thing too much to add to their list. She could also feel that having babies has taken a toll on her looks or that the babies might need her in the middle of sex leaving her to feel more guilty than excited about your interactions. If there is stress at her job then she could be bringing that stress home trying to deal with it on top of everything else. Make more attempts to help her out with the house and the children, re-delegate her duties by agreeing to do some of them for her. Bring her flowers for no reason, leave her notes of love in her items that go with her to work, call her during the day and tell her how much you miss her. Establish some me time with her such as a set day or two of the week when you go out together and someone else handles the kids. Even if you cannot afford a babysitter or that extra money to go out there are other ways you can accomplish this such as asking a relative or a neighbor if they can work something out with you and perhaps you can do the same for them. It doesn't cost much money to find a nice hilltop to watch the sunset, a bottle of cheap wine, and nice music. A walk along a beach or in a park with a place to sit down and chat about your future together. A stop at your favorite ice cream joint and then a stroll through a mall just to window shop. A picnic by a lake or river with something you made or something you picked up for the outing such as a chicken dinner. Tell her how much she means to you and that you miss all of the wonderful times you had together in the beginning. Let her know how much you appreciate all of the things that she is doing and that you understand that taking care of two little boys on top of everything else must be quite exhausting. Remind her that she needs some down time, some time to just stop and enjoy life and that you want to help her to have that time. And let her know that you need some special time with her too. Remind her of your most beautiful moments sexually and how she made heaven and earth move for you. She needs to know that she is SO loved and that you would do anything for her just to be with her is special yet you need to spend a little more time being intimate. If she cannot find time for you sexually after that then you need to find out why. You can do that without the Marriage Counselor or the Sex Therapist if you can just get the alone time going and really start conversing more. You need to tell her how you are feeling without making her feel guilty, you need to listen to how she is feeling without thinking that she is nagging, and you both need to really find an understanding. If none of those things work then perhaps you need the counselor but I would opt for the marriage counselor first and explain to her that you just need to understand what you and her can do to fix things so that you are both happier. I really don't think it is about the sex and deep down she probably misses it as much as you do. I hope things work out great for you both. Good luck.

Answer 10

yeah it's fun when my wife doesn't come to sex therapy with me because the sex therapist she always gives me free oral