What is the psychology behind my friend's behaviour and how do I deal with it?

Question

I've known this friend for 3 years and she has always been a bit off with me. She had a cold a few weeks back and so I suggested she get some cold remedies. After a few days went by, she rang to ask me why I hadn't asked her how her cold was! (As if I've nothing else in my life!) Then I had a burglary at Christmas (a bad one) and she told me how lucky I was because she had one about 30 years ago, where the burlgars supposedly had knives on them (even though she never met them). So am I to assume to my friend that I'm lucky, because my burlgars may or may not have had knives on them? (I didn't see my burlgars either). I just don't know what to make of all this. A couple of months ago, she says she is going to talk to her clairvoyant about 'us', as she's sure we were made for each other in another life!!

I'm her only friend. I wonder why?!!

Answer 1

she has a low self worth and if u are her only friend, she expect alot more from u than just a casual relationship. she wants u to be overly concerned about her, but when u tell her what is going on with u she minimizes it as if it just isn't important. she is too into herself, she will always have a story to tell that will make your situation look like nothing at all. it is all about her, and her needs, she is just too needy and maybe it would be best to distance yourself from this person who appears to suck the life out of people.

Answer 2

She obviously is very self centered and feels that the world revolves around and should cater to her. The main point is not what is wrong with them, but how you handle it if you want to remain friends.
I have a friend like this and I have found that I no longer tell her my problems or issues in life, she doesn't care except to use it against me in the future. I listen to her for hours on the phone and say nothing. It is definately a give and take relationship. However I remain friends with her because there are things we enjoy doing together, and she is generous with other things.
Wether you were held at gun point and beaten, her episode 30 years ago would be worse than yours just because it happened to her. This will have to be something that you either learn to accept from your friend or move on and leave her behind.

Answer 3

Sounds like your friend is a kook. I'm sorry, but perhaps a narcissist? Everything is always about them or pertains to them and they always have to one up you with a better story or a more dangerous situation or something much worse happened to them. I personally have known two such people like this in my life and trust me its exhausting to be in friendships with these types.
Nothing you do is ever good enough. Nothing you say is ever the right thing, because they are so perfect and would have said things differently than what you chose. Real control freaks. Save your sanity and get away, before they convince you that you are the psycho.

Answer 4

Well this miserable mate of urs has to have, been or done everything better than everyone else, don't ya just hate them people, listen tell her to shut up and get over it does she wanna be ur mate or not? I just hope u have more than this friend or your just never guna have any fun or happiness in ur life, if you do lose the other one she's got major issues. Oh and the psychology is that she's miserable and you should be too just to be on her level, if you actually spend enough time with her it'll work for real so get away from her.

Answer 5

Maybe she reads into your friendship more than you intended. Does she have a problem with self esteem? If so, then she may think that any relationship she has with you is more than you let on. If you have ever slept with her, whether it was a mistake or not, she reads any and all contact with you as a window of opportunity to get back to that point with you. I am really sorry she sees you this way and she says things that seem off the wall, but I know this kind of person.

Answer 6

Sounds to me like your buddy has some deep seated inferiority subject concerns and a few extreme voids in her existence. till she reconciles those conflicts it is going to continuously be approximately her and additionally you will play 2nd mess around: while the concentration is on you then you are not filling her voids or her needs and additionally you're consequently expendable, no count if or no longer this is emotionally, etc. possibly she needs to artwork on her subject concerns and probably she is justified in her self-absorption; although, that does no longer advise which you're obligated to offer your self up for her. She has to artwork out her very own issues. Being there for her is one ingredient, sacrificing your self is yet yet another. stable success to the two one in all you.

Answer 7

I don't know how you can call her a friend as she clearly isn't. She is selfish, egotistical and attention seeking - always has to go one better! Do you really want to remain 'friends' with her!? Seems to me that if she has always been a bit off with you she hasn't been a friend from the beginning, just a user. Your decision but I would cut all ties......

Answer 8

Friend??? Bonkers. Leeches like this for whatever sad, lonely, misplaced, psychiatric reason can eat into your time and wellbeing and destroy you. You have two options; either be prepared to dedicate your time and emotions towards her for as long as she deems necessary or distance yourself until she gets the hint and latches on to somebody else. Sounds harsh but, hey, life is tough. You or her.

Answer 9

Sounds like your friend is a bit of a drama queen,everything has to be about her.I had friends like this who i am no longer friends with as they were all too draining.Also found 1 in particular who was my best mate was slagging me behind my back.Be careful.x

Answer 10

Hi, Oh dear your friend sounds very strange, it seems she lives only for herself and in the past, no thought for others. Get away from her while you have the chance i am not surprised if she cant get any other friends. Just keep your distance.