i dont know whats going on?

Question

hi i kind of met up with a girl last week that ive spoke to in the pub before. ive never been with a girl before but was strangely drawn to her. we havent done anything yet just kissed and slept in the same bed - (actually sleeping!) but she's only 18 and im in my mid 20's. i would never have considered going out with a boy of that age. im sooo confused about whats going on, i dont know if im freaked out by the fact she's a girl or her age or both or even something else. i like her but i keep thinking what if someone finds out whats going on?

Answer 1

Of course you wouldn't likely go out with a lad that age... we're usually too immature. A girl is different though - and, while what you're comfortable doing is your business, spare a thought for what she wants.

You're both of a legal age to get on and try whatever you (both) want. As long as it's consensual - why spoil your enjoyment for the sake of what others might think?

Answer 2

If you enjoy the company of this girl then try just relaxing and see what happens. As long as you are both honest with each other and know where it is/isn't going. If one of you is after more than the other then one of you could get hurt. The fact that you have spent a night together but not really done anything does make it sound though that neither of you is just trying to use the other one.

My girlfriend is 7 yeas younger than me, but at 23 exhibits maturity beyond her years; I think age is relative and everyone should be judged on their own merits, despite their age. I agree about the boy thing though, but somehow an 18 year old girl seems older than and 18 year old boy!

This is my first relationship with a girl, having always had boy friends before, so I can appreciate some of where you are coming from, especially in relation to other people finding out, especially when you're not necessarily certain about things yourself. If you want to chat some more then feel free to email me.

Answer 3

Females are more mature,the age isn't really an issue.Do you like her?That's the main question!If you fancy her and she likes you in that way then go for it.Too many people miss out on things these days because they worry too much about what other people think!! Your happiness is what it comes down to,if she isn't bothered by the age difference then why should you be?I've been with my partner 9 years now (she's 6 years older and was in her mid 20's when we got together!) at first she was really freaked out by my age but after deciding that she'd give 'us' a go,she realised that didn't matter,we've been together ever since.You might be missing out on the love of your life regardless of what sex she is or her age!!

Answer 4

It is quite likely that although you feel that it is you that is has started this relationship it is probably your young friend that is the real instigator. If you have any doubts now is the time to move away and end it. In a very short time you will either forget it and put it down to an experience or an experiment or realise that you are a gay person and then go with you natural feelings. The first time doing what is not what you have considered normal is always a time for reflection. What ever you might do in the future I wish you all the best in sorting yourself out.

Answer 5

Well, the age difference isn't that much, and 18 is legal, so why are you concerned with what other people think?

There's nothing to be found out here, unless you suspect that the girl is actually 17 or younger, and then you could get into trouble.

Otherwise, if you are unattached and free, then take good care of yourself, be kind, and have fun!

Answer 6

You are obviously attracted to her & that is fine. Don't try to rationalise it, just go with the flow. I wouldn't worry about her age as girls are usually far more mature than boys at 18. I once went out with a woman who was 14 years older than me & she didn't even speak the same language but we still had a great time together that I will remember & treasure forever. Just enjoy it & have fun! Don't worry about what other people think as life is too short!

Answer 7

hey i know excatly how you feel coz i was the same situation as you. i even left my violent husband for her. i was with her for 2 yrs before it went pear shaped and know we dont even talk anymore which has gutted me. my only advice is to take each day as it comes and make sure your 100% before you sleep sleep with her. im not gay it was just something that happened to me and even tho i would never be another woman, i dont regret having a fall on relationship with my ex girlfriend.we was even engaged!i was confused for a very long time but i now know whats what with me and im now comfy in my own skin if you get me. hp this helps and gd luck hunny and just go for it and enjoy. if you dont youl always wonder.life is for enjoying and trying out new things so try and have fun and dont worry about other ppl.

Answer 8

Hi Sarah, Who cares what people think. You are attracted to this person and was drawn to her for a reason. Just go with your feeling and see what happens. Don't be afraid of your feeling and what so dumb a s s will say. Remember it's your life and your business. A Friend.

Clowmy

Answer 9

if you like her then you like her. age doesnt matter, at least not in this case because you both are legal. if you think its going a little too fast for you then tell her. if she's ok with that then thats cool, if not then she's not worth your time. but dont let her age or gender stand in the way of what could be a great relationship.

Answer 10

the only advise i can give is try and see what happens it wont hurt you... the only thing that will hurt is sitting back and regretting that you never tried. follow your heart... remember woman can be very cunning.