i feel awful about myself. i was married to a very mean man. he would say that he hates the way men look at me

Question

he would call me ugly,worthless trash. he would hit me and say that if he were with someone else he would not act that way. i finally ran away from him last july. i feel like such a loser.now i notice that i walk around with my head down. other people notice it as well,they tell me to hold my head up. i am sooo ashamed of myself. what happened to me? look at my yahoo 360 page. was he right?

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Answer 1

There is no reason for anyone to hit you; much less for someone that you have no control over looking at you. In my opinion he should have taken someone else looking at you as a compliment. That would mean that he has something special and he should appreciate what he has. You have every right to run away from a abusive relationship and should have zero guilt for it. No one deserves to be beat on or verbally abused. You need to understand that it was not your fault and you did nothing wrong. Hold your head up and continue to look good and feel good about yourself. There are lots of good men out there who deserve someone like you.

Answer 2

Congratulations on leaving him! You took the first big step. Things will fall into place.

You may be in a bit of a depression and still holding onto your old ways .. if it doesn't lighten up, I would suggest going to see a professional.

You did the right thing .. if anyone should be walking around with their head held down, it's him for treating you the way he has. I'm sure he is now that he's lost you.

Of course he is not right ... I've seen plenty of men act like this before due their own insecurities and jealousy.

Answer 3

He was not right at all he was just a jerk and mean and jealous of you. I am glad you got away from him and from the abuse. I feel however that you need counseling and help to get past the pain of what he has put you through. You are not a loser and dont even think that way. He was the one who did not realize how good he had it and now you are gone. He is the loser NOT you. Lift your chin up girl and move on with your life without him in it and over time you will heal and get past this and will be able to move on with your life. Someday you will find a wonderful man who will love you for you and will treat and love you right.

Answer 4

Time heals all. Start holding your head up no ones going to do it for you. You'll get through it and be the better person for it. Like to read? read books on building yourself esteem, it will be good for you and get yr mind off of what he did. i had an ex-husband who used to tell me the same thing, he hated when other men would look at me. I told him he should feel proud and be glad and to start worring when they stop! I'm free of him have been for 7 yrs now. I'm a beautiful woman and no one, no one could make me believe other wise. I'm confident and secure and happy in my own skin. You will be too just keep telling yrself yr special and beautiful cuz when you believe others will see that and they will belive it too! Trust me I know what I'm talking about. So girlfriend hold yr head up walk like your the best thing since sliced bread, put a pep in yr step and get happy. you have two choices to be happy or sad, which you gonna chose?

Answer 5

Why are you hanging your head, you have done nothing wrong, if he thought you were so ugly why did he marry you. You have no reason to feel like a loser, you did a very brave thing by walking away from an abusive person. Hold your head up high and be proud of yourself

Answer 6

First and foremost I am SO PROUD OF YOU for leaving that relationship!!! Sweetie, HE'S the LOSER!!!! ANY man that would treat a woman the way he treated you have total lack of respect for women! In regards to him saying "if he were with someone else"...what B.S.!!!! His words and actions show that he's not a real man, and DEFINITELY NOT WORTHY of your loving/giving soul.... You asked what happened to you---you allowed him to transform your spirit into someone that you aren't. **HE** is completely responsible for the way you are feeling about yourself. I'm not big into counseling, maybe you would feel comfortable talking to other women that have shared the same "VERBAL/PHYSICAL ABUSE" that you did. (Verbal abuse is worse than physical abuse.) How about calling your local YWCA and see if they have any group meetings. Knowing that another has experienced a verbal AND physically abusive relationship is comforting and will return your self esteem to you. You are very beautiful, and he was insecure, which he articulated by saying that he hated the way men looked at you. Only, and I mean ONLY would an insecure man treat you in the manner he did. Also, he NEEDED to be in control. THE CRUELEST TYPE OF PARTNER TO HAVE! Trust me Sweetie, I know...been there, got the t-shirt, divorce papers, and TOTALLY SCREWED FINANCIALLY! We dated for 9yrs and our marriage only lasted 2yrs. The last year was a REALLY bumpy road. He HATED the way guys looked at me, a secure man would think to himself "H*ll yeah, that's MY woman and I'm PROUD to have her as my life partner.” During that last year I soul searched A LOT!!! I realized that over the years he had broken my spirit by molding me into the person HE wanted. You have to stop thinking of yourself the way HE did! YOU DID NOT DESERVE TO BE VERBALLY AND PHYSICALLY ABUSED!!!!! Now it's time for you to do deep soul searching. EVERY TIME you think of how he bashed you, tell yourself "IT WAS NOT MY FAULT"...... It will take time, but I can sense a strong will within you, and have faith that you will find your true self again!!!! You have NOTHING to be ashamed of girl,,,so hold up that head of yours and strut your stuff!!!! Sending you a hug and blessings.......

Answer 7

u look beautiful!!! Good on u for leaving him. It will take a while to rebuild but find the strength to do it. Use your bad experience to help others. I guarentee that6 who ever he is with now or in the future will go through exactly what you did, its not your fault.
If you were that ugly men wouldn't be looking at you...... your a survivor!!!!! U look great, be proud of yourself and hold your head high

Answer 8

He hated the men looking at you because the men wonted you . Your a fox and i think you know that. Your just playing in here to get the guys to see you because your so pretty and you wont the world to see,. But I'm not mad at you thanks for letting me see such a good looking babe this morning maybe the day will look a little brighter for me .

Answer 9

your self worth does suffer when u have been treated like u have been, we often believe the ugly opinions of our controllers, as we have been in that situation for so long, we have just learned it. but u can unlearn it too. don't listen or believe the opinions of anyone as it will just give u low self worth. your destiny is not at all tied to his opinion of u. he was jealous, he was mental, this is all about the things he used to control u, he would say those ugly things to make u feel ugly, and if u felt bad about u he could control u easier, and get his way. as when we have a low self Worth going on we can't feel good about out life, or see past the hurt to make changes. put the head up, know that god loves u, and thinks your worth something, and god is the only one who u need to please, u don't have to please this abusive man. he kept u like this because he could keep u down if he could get u to believe bad about u. god bless.

Answer 10

if you call yourself blossom, then deep down inside you know you respect and love yourself... you really don't have a question but you have self doubt. through time and keeping yourself busy, you will begin to get out your rut. clean house. it is one of the most therapeutic ways to clean your soul. if those negative thoughts still persists... just witness it and let it go. if you need to cry now and then, that's okay, too. surround yourself with pleasant things, good music, good people, good thoughts. display a vase with a favorite flower of yours and know that life is beautiful and continues to be that way. this mean man no longer is a part of your life. you did well by leaving him... i congratulate you....you did the first step... just take more steps into taking care of yourself alright, may you be blessed....