How do you tell whether he loves you as a friend or more?

Question

We work together. I am married. He is a single co-worker. I know that he cares for me in many ways, like a friend more than a co-worker. But how do I know whether he loves me as a friend or is there any romantic interest? He does flirts with me and we went out for dinner alone before.

Answer 1

Did you say he does flirts with you? well, that's enough. That's not a friendly virtue to a a married woman. Besides does your husband knows about him? what abt the day you went out for lunch alone.

Listen to me, many pple who have cheated on their spouse never actually plan to do that. It all started like a friendship..........
The workplace is the No.1 spot for married individuals to meet affair partners. So, be careful. Men and women who work closely together under stressful conditions can quickly become attracted to each other. They often share interests and think nothing of spending time over coffee or lunch getting to know one another.
Nevertheless, lunch between married friends, no matter what their intentions, can have unanticipated and dangerous consequences.

One researcher calls this new kind of affair the "Cup of Coffee" syndrome. Men and women begin with safe marriages at home and friendships at work. As they regularly meet for coffee breaks and lunch, these relationships develop into deep friendships. Coworkers come to depend on these coffee rendezvous, and soon they have emotional work friendships and crumbling
marriages.

Though today’s workplace offers more opportunity for extramarital relationships, it is not opportunity that is causing the workplace to become such a hotspot of infidelity. Healthy marriages must have proper boundaries. "In a committed relationship, a couple constructs a wall that shields them from any outside forces that have the power to split them," Glass writes.Referring to a particular couple, she adds, "The problem wasn’t that they were attracted, but that they began to act on their feelings as if they had no other primary commitments."

Don’t allow yourself to think about being with another person, because thoughts lead to actions. Don’t flirt, because it tells others you are available. Stay away from dangerous situations, because everyone is fallen and can be tempted. Positive Friendships, Proper Boundaries. Boundaries should always exist outside the marriage relationship and never inside. One way to make sure that your boundaries are in the right place is to
always be accountable to your partner.

All the best!

Answer 2

Since he's flirting with you, I'd say he has romantic interest. If he saw you only as a friend and wasn't physically attracted to you, he would'nt be flirting. What I'm wondering is, do you WANT him to be interested in you as a friend or lover? If you are married but are attracted to your co-worker and feel there is a romance starting there, consider this carefully. Is it fair to your husband?
If you and your husband are having marital problems, you might want to seek marriage counciling to work it out. That's the only fair thing to him. If you work it out, stop the romance at work. If you love your husband, the marriage is fine, and you don't want your co-worker to have romantic feelings toward you, then make sure he knows how solid you and your husband are. When he flirts say, "Gosh, have I told you lately how much I love my husband, talk about a prince among men." He'll get the message pretty quickly. Also, if he's not able to have a platonic friendship with you because of deeper feelings, I'd stop having lunch with him. Don't put yourself in those situations that allow him to flirt with you. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

Dear Mam,
According to me being a married lady, you should not have given him such a response of going out for dinner and flirting also. Anyone will start taking chance as soon as you respond them a little also. Further now, its better to stop this relation and get into a simple , pure and professional relation with him . The very clear answer to your question is that he has surely some romantic interest in you but he has no daring to accept it and thus he is wrapping your relation in the golden wrapper of friendship and wants to take all advantages of love ship.

Answer 4

Consider the long term ramifications of your actions now. Leave it alone. You are married - he is single - You are looking to a whole world of hurt if you pursue it - not just for you but your husband and children if there are any. If you have problems in your marriage sort them first before looking elsewhere. Be original and different do things in the right order.

This guy may be looking for the unattainable woman, quick fling, no strings. do you really want to jeopardise your marriage for a 5 minute fumble. Believe me the grass in not always greener the other side.

Answer 5

First of all you are married so do not worry about this and you had better hope it is only as a friend and nothing more. You should only be worried if your husband loves you or not as that is all that matters.Do not go out to dinner with him anymore or flirt back at him as this is just not right. Instead flirt with your husband and go out to dinner and on dates with him and tell this other clown to take a hike.

Answer 6

Back off yr playing with fire. Maybe you like this attention that he gives cuz yr hubby odesn't do it anymore??? Sounds like infactuation. Yr married, yr off limits, but any man will try you, it's their nature. I can tell you this he'll take whatever you give him, and then he won't respect you later, cuz if you did it with him ,what makes him think you wouldn't do it to him??? Another thing is, hoiw many other married women has he done this too? In his mind yr safe from having any strings with him cuz yr already married. He's just lookin for some action and the green light. Back off, work it out with yr husband if not then get divorced. wait 1 yr then date, but only single emotional available men. Plenty out there.

Answer 7

If your single co-worker is flirting with you than he might want to be with you because he loves you.

Answer 8

Your Married!
What ever you think is wrong with your marriage work on it first or get divorced before you sleep with this guy.
You made vows don't be a chicken sh!t face your husband and talk with him.
What have you got to loose a marriage! You will loose that anyway if you have an affair.

Answer 9

I think that the only way you will really find out if this guy has any other feelings towards you is if you ask him. I know this may be hard but only this guy holds the key to your answer. Good Luck

Answer 10

Try to leave him hints that you like him a lot and see what his reaction is. If he starts going for it then he wants to be more than just friends. You could also tell him things like you and your husband have been arguing a lot recently and see how he reacts.