My wife has asked for a divorce, and she has started seeing someone else who she is falling in love with. I have not been able to move out of our house yet - we are sleeping in different rooms. We are trying to remain friends because we have two children that we are still raising. She has made it clear that we will not be getting back together, and she tells me all about the other guy that she met and she is in love with him. The bad part is we are having sex all the time, and it is getting more and more intense. I know that as soon as she is ready to move on to the new guy she will drop me like a bad habit. I know I am being used, and I allow it because the sex is good. I know I have to stop because when she tells me that she is getting closer to the other guy I will be crushed because I feel like as long as we are having sex, maybe we have a shot to work things out. Just tell me how stupid I am to put myself in this situation. Give me your best shot - be evil
2007-02-25 21:00:27 · 16 answers · asked by Confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh gosh, I don't envy your situation, I'm so sorry to hear you are in such a mess. I truly believe that her leaving is going to make you feel crushed - regardless of whether or not you are having sex. Yeah I agree that she is using you and guess what - she's using the other guy too. If at all possible, just back out of there as quickly as you can, because the longer it drags on, the more it's going to hurt when it finally finishes. Don't be too surprised somwhere down the track if she pulls the same stunt on this new guy too. Once you pick yourself up and dust yourself off, I'm sure you will find someone that's worthy of you. I really do understand how much it hurts, I'm going through a similar thing with a cheating spouse (but I wont sleep with him anymore cos I'm scared of catching something). If you want to talk more, please feel free to email me. Kind regards Penny xx
2007-02-25 21:13:43 · answer #1 · answered by Vanessa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with it the way I see it.
The happy part is you two are trying to take care of your children together and you are still friends. The kids come first so remember that.
Obviously the sex is "recreational" and not "making love". Just because two consenting adults have sex doesn't mean they are in love.
Eventually it will come to a end so try to move on with your life also.
Oh, last note, watch out for STD's. Multiple partners may end up being a gift from one that will keep on giving for the rest of your life.
2007-02-25 21:22:18 · answer #2 · answered by Magicman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally, believe if she is still having sex with you, she is not going to move out. If a woman is in love with a man, she will not enjoy having sex with someone else. You are not stupid. Find out what the other man has that you lack- is it money? Other than that, I cannot imagine what she could be planning to leave you for, especially since you are the parents of her two children. I think she is lying.
2007-02-25 21:14:34 · answer #3 · answered by Jess4rsake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my opinion, if you are still married and still living in the same house and you know she is sleeping with someone else no matter how good the sex is, you are just getting used and you need to put a stop to it. Make her decide its you or the other guy and thats it, no "im falling in love, but i want you tonight" thats bad for you. And if you decide to stay together be prepared to spend a long long time getting over her being with someone else while you were married. But if you two are still screwin make damn sure you are wrappin it up!!! But quit screwin her!!
2007-02-25 21:26:40 · answer #4 · answered by Patrick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're having hope, and that is never Stupid. I feel as long as she is there, enjoy her. It is kindda a double sword, though, she too, will miss the extra attention you give during love making, it's not going to be easy for her either, it's just part of the process. What I hear, is that, you are still in love with her. You can't help that, it has something to do with the heart and how you can't just turn it off or forget, the heart just goes on..............You know.
2007-02-25 21:17:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's about the dumbest thing you could ever possibly do. She is playing you emotionally and is going to take you for everything that you ever had or ever want to have in the future, you are going to lose it all. Quit thinking with your little brain dumba$$, you are in for the ride of your life and will be living in a refridgerator box with in six months. I sure hope you live in a warm climate, a fridge box doesn't really protect you from the winter snow. Oh, and you may want to go out and getr yourself a nice tin cup while you still have the money to, you'll need it to be a good panhandler.
dumba$$.
2007-02-26 01:17:56 · answer #6 · answered by stratplayer1967 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry for you, thats a tough spot. Yeah, you are being used. Just because you are physically connected you think its emotional too, its not for her. Maybe you need to tell her new man about her sexual needs, Im sure he doesn't want to be in your position in a few years.. no pun intended lol. Your best bet is go cold turkey drop that crazy *****, she's wasting too much of your time and doesnt seem to mind crushing your heart too.
2007-02-25 21:04:38 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does she need to be married to you?
She has a boyfriend that she is using and lying to.
She has you to satisfy her sexual needs.
She has got her cake and ice cream, nothing else she needs to work for.
So what are you going to do about it? You could be out their satisfying someone else who could respect you and be faithful but you don't want to, because you want your ex back. Why? So can use you for convenience, wake up dude you could be stuck doing this for the next 5 years.
Is that what you want for yourself?
Get away from her as fast as you can, if she wants you she will come after you.
2007-02-25 21:26:32 · answer #8 · answered by Emptiness 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it's a nice illusion, and sometimes dreams come true (she loves you, not the other guy. tears up divorce papers).
but usually, you find the day the dream ends, and you are out of your intermission life and on your own. so it's your choice. go with the flow and when it ends, it ends, or you can stop it now (or whenever you set the date) and move on with your solo life (which is to go looking for a place to stay, moving out, dating, etc)
2007-02-25 21:10:22 · answer #9 · answered by lsl4x 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your a man and maybe you do love her and all, but move on you get a girlfriend that you can brag about, and if she is using you, you use her a ride is a ride thats the way all men look at it in love or not in love just move on you have still got the rest of your life to live.
2007-02-25 21:10:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋