Need help to overcome self-pity, anger and frustration?

Question

I am 24/male. I get angry a lot. I often have nasty and long fights with my dearest friend due to my hot-tempered nature. There are wounds from my past that don't heal up and keep my mind agitated all the time. Since, she is my closest friend I often pour out all my frustrations on her. I also verbally abuse her which hurts her.

However, it is not right to hurt my friend because of all this. She says, I am full of self-pity. She has been nice enough to forgive me every time.

1. Should I give up my friendship with her because I am causing a lot of pain to her? Probably, she will be happier if I leave her alone and never talk to her. What do you suggest? But this will be too difficult for me to bear. Her friendship means a lot to me.

2. How can I remove self-pity? I don't want to blame others for my frustrations. I want to take the responsibility of my frustrations on myself and I want to let this feeling of self-pity and frustrations go away from my mind.

Answer 1

Hi. I feel for you. 1st of all you dont need to give up your friend. You need to find the *core* issue/issues causing your anger. And deal with that. maybe take a break away from your friend...explain you are going to *work* on your self. Self pity is a problem alot of people have to deal with on a day to day matter. But anger mixed with it makes it worse. you are compensating your hurt/lack of self esteem by striking out (unfortunatly affecting your friend). There are ways to figure out your core issues. Write a list of people/things that bother you. sometimes cutting off harmful people is the 1st step. If you cant say no learn how to. Make yourself 1st in every situation. Once you become stronger inside ...you will learn how to deal with things instead of getting angry. Good luck:)

Answer 2

Kudos for bringing up the issue, but do you really realize that you have a problem? I am not at all trying to be mean, but usually when someone is really seeking help the first thing that is mentioned is I have a problem. All your doing is just admitting what you are doing to an individual, and why. That however does not suggest you are ready to handle the commitment it takes to really overcome what it is you are going through. A person who really wants help does not make ultimatums for themselves because you have a problem. People who struggle with any behavioral problems are selfish, and usually do not see things through especially what you say you are going to do. If you are really serious you should go make an appointment with a therapist, and talk it out.

Answer 3

it is admirable that you recognize that there is a problem.

there is the idea that you could seek professional help or counselling. that way you wouldn't be dumping your refuse, if you will, in the wrong place/s.

i don't promote modern drugs because i feel that they can also contribute side effects that one neither needs or desires. if you were to consult with someone who is well informed with alternative medicine, i think you'd probably receive treatment that is organic and would jive with your body better. i say this because i use such products with fabulous results.

the other avenue that i would suggest would be to start learning a martial art. this would be beneficial to both your mind and body in that you would, eventually, develop a masterful self discipline and spirituality. this art, of coarse, would require a life devotion which would be cause for some real soul searching....yeah?

my good wishes are with you.......carpe diem.

Answer 4

I have two suggestions:

1) people have found that certain medicines can control chronic anger problems very well, so see your doctor ASAP.

2) If you continue to hurt her after taking medication, and truly care for her well-being, then by all means, set her free. This is the only life she has, and she deserves better than undeserved pain if it's all you find yourself giving her.

Answer 5

Commiting suicide has extremely not something with the place you spend eternity. not something. I examine the Bible by using each and every 365 days, its not in there. Now suicide in not the respond, you have heard the previous saying, God hates a coward. not having the braveness to stand up and face your issues is what God has a topic with. Suicide is a poor sin and that i don't see how a individual must be stored and try this variety of subject. How ought to a individual say they seem to be a Christian and homicide themselves. in basic terms approximately impossible, except of direction something mentally breakes down inwhich there is not something no one can do approximately that.

Answer 6

Whenever you get angry, make it a habit to look at the sky,(if sky is not present , try to visualize it mentally) and think how small you and your problem could be in compared to the whole universe, can you get as angry as Sun .
Some form of yoga can also help you.

Answer 7

"THIS WAS OUR COURSE.

We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symtoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry, Thy will be done."

We avoid retaliation and arguement. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one."

Try to take this position.

Earf!

Answer 8

You should think before you act. You should keep your friendship with her. You could go to a quiet place to calm down when you get angry.

Answer 9

All I can suggest is therapy and maybe some medication.
Perhaps a specialist will see this question and be able to give you more detailed advice.

Good Luck

Answer 10

of course you need to face all your problems first. try to forgive and heal all wounds that is inside you. i think your friend is willing to help you. its really nice to know that there is someone who is willing to help you so dont abuse that. good luck.