her number off his phone & ask him if he's heard from her lately.He says no,then whilst getting his clothes out of his work bag,you find her number written on tiny bit paper by your husband,would you be suspecious.Would you ask him why & would you beleive him if he promised he only copied the number down because she'd txted him asking Y he hadn't bin intouch, so he'd replied & told her that their friendship couldnt continue as it was causing probs between him & his wife.After which she txted back saying how sorry she was,asked if it was her fault,so he wrote down her number as he was considering phoning her to say,it wasnt her fault, but it was awkward it was causing probs in his marraige.Would U beleive him or would U think he's havin an affair?
2007-02-25 19:26:18 · 33 answers · asked by ROGER E 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He has already lied to me about this women,which is what makes me doubt him. He says he only lied because he didnt want me to be paranoid that something was going on.He swears he doesnt fancy her,but says he's realized she might fancy him.Also gets annoyed if I ask him any details as says I dont trust him & if I dont then we should seperate.
2007-02-25 19:45:43 · update #1
Assuming what you're saying is accurate, he specifically told you he would not contact one specific individual. He then sent her a text message, which he told you nothing about. That's called lying. Boom, you now have trust issues in the relationship. In my opinion, the only real question at this point is, how deep is the lie? It's entirely possible, and even probable with no other signs, that he's completely innocent of having an affair. However, he still lied to do something he wanted to. He took the hide-it-dont-deal-with-it approach to something that would bother you. That's the real issue you need to deal with, imo. Everything else is just a question of degree.
2007-02-27 07:58:11 · answer #1 · answered by romipenne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Am sure he wrote the number down so he can call her from a pay phone outside! This is crazy! I don't know why some people would allow very tiny things to destroy what they have built over the years!! Why can't he just damn her and cut her off if he values his marriage? He probably fancies her and having an affair because the lies are not necessary at all!
2007-02-25 23:31:12 · answer #2 · answered by Lechs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay so lets put it the other way around. Imagine you wanted an affair with someone. you'd MEMORISE the number. You'd get a second 'phone that your partner didn't know about.
You'd get pretty fed up if you kept being hassled by your partner and they didn't trust you (though this seems to be more of a male thing) Men hate this. They don't see it as love they see it as control.
Men and women can be very good friends without anything sexual at all. But if she fancies him he has been very good and tried to avoid her. Tell him how much you appreciate his candour and don't push him by going on about it. Be confident (men find this sexy), keep up your energy and keep seducing him, don't keep talking about her, every time you mention her her thinks of her. Work on making you gorgeous and him desired. Have fun!
2007-02-25 22:14:17 · answer #3 · answered by Em 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through last April. I deleted the number off my spouse's 'friend' after my spouse called them in front of me to tell them that I'd found an inappropriate text on his mobile. A couple of weeks later I found the friends number amongst my spouses college books whilst tidying up. When I confronted my spouse about it my spouse looked guilty as hell, gulped hard and with wide eyes denied all knowledge of it! It wasn't my spouses handwriting and I told my spouse this. I knew my spouse hadn't texted or phoned the friend because we have itemised bill. However, I had (and still have) a feeling that my spouse's friend must have given it to my spouse when they saw each other in college the following week. Also found out that my spouse had been texting and ringing the friend (sometimes very late at night) from old itemised bills. When I confronted my spouse about this they said they hadn't thought they'd been doing anything wrong!!! When I asked why my spouse hadn't texted or contacted their friend whilst I wasn't around (suspicious I know)my spouse's excuse was that we never spent much time together lol lol. Funny my spouse would contact/text workmates and vice versa whilst I was there. Anyway this put a big strain on our marriage to a point I was going to leave. We even ended going to a marriage counselling.
My spouse is in their 40's the friend was in early 20's. Perhaps my spouse felt somewhat flattered, I don't know.
Anyway, I know for a fact that my spouse is no longer in contact with the friend via mobile (itemised bills) and my spouse even stopped going to college and gives me lots and lots of attention now - buys me flowers, pays me compliments etc you get the picture.
Tell him to ring her in front of you to say it was her fault! Why should you be the only one to suffer...
2007-03-01 05:48:26 · answer #4 · answered by morgan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds very wierd to me.
Why did he not tell you he had spoken to her.
If it was innocent then he would of told you she text and that he had answered her saying he thought the friendship couldnt go on.
He might not be having an affair so get rid of her number and any temptation and spend some quality time together.
2007-02-25 19:35:19 · answer #5 · answered by scragette2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not believe that a guy and a girl can be friends. Maybe starting off but eventually there's a slip up some where. I gave my husband an ultimatum. Be friends with her or lose me. Well we since then married and when I use to see her number in his contacts I would delete it finally he got the picture.
2007-02-25 19:39:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes - I would be very suspicious. He may well have told
her that they should not contact each other. But it just
gave her an excuse to txt back to say sorry. The best
way for her to be sorry would have been to take advice
and leave your husband alone. It sounds to me that he
is flattered of the attention that he is getting. Also why
should he go on the defensive? If he is not having an
affair with her now - he will soon. STICK TO YOUR
GUNS AND TELL HER TO BACK OFF.
2007-02-25 21:26:43 · answer #7 · answered by Minxy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say it-but there would be no reason for him to write the number down. When she texted him,the number would be displayed on the phone-and if he wanted to call her to explain,he could've used the number from that. But why even call her? If he explained contact with her was causing problems in his marriage,and she texted him again,he should've just deleted it. He already explained that it was causing problems. Tell him his story doesn't wash,and you feel you deserve the truth.
2007-02-26 01:17:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, right the issue here is trust.
unless he admits it, you will never know what has or hasn't happened here.
Do you trust him? No, i don't think you do. I understand why, when people behave suspiciously it is hard to put it in to perspective and see what is really going on.
If you can't totally trust him then either start over with him, new number and no contact with her or you move on yourself.
Whether he cheated or not the trust has been damaged. The question now is is that damage irrepairable?
2007-02-25 23:05:18 · answer #9 · answered by cute s 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi. im in the same sort of position at the moment. its hard to know exactly what to believe but i have found that its just easier getting rid of the number and believing that nothing happend. Its less hurtfull that way. One day if he has been cheating it will all come out but dont ruin your relationship and waste your tears worrying about it just incase you got it wrong. Im sure what you have is great so take care and enjoy it. Best of luck
2007-02-25 19:35:31 · answer #10 · answered by haha_islaughing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋