Anyone please I need some advice???

Question

well this is my story I got together with my boyfriend at a very young age(16)we now have 3 kids together,and 7 years on and off,
in one of those on and off situations that we were apart he married his ex! And on the night of his wedding he calls me and tells me that he loves me and that he didnt know why he married her.Anyway they must of lived together for about a month or so and split up.Time past and me and him gave it another chance,the problem is that he got her pregnant in that month they were together. So now he has a child with her and he is actually still married to her. He always tells me he is going to get divorced and never does, my mind runs wild with so many thoughts, like if he still loves her? or why is he with me? The thing now is that we got in an argument, because he wants to go to another town to see his kid,and he is hidding me from her because he says she might acuse him of adultery,its a very difficult story so I hope I could get some advice on what to do ?

By the way,the other chick does know he has kids with me

Answer 1

Well, well, well. First off does she realize that you are with him? If so then if he goes to visit the child then you should be right there with him. If not he has to man up and tell her he is with you. It shouldn't come as that much of a shock because she knows that he is not there with her. As far as the divorce thing goes there is no excuse for him to be married right now in the situation that he is in. You need to start thinking along the lines of being solo. He is holding you back emotionally because he doesn't know what he wants. Have you ever considered pursuing a relationship with someone else?

Answer 2

This is why people should get married before popping out kids. First of all you have no rights to this man. Forget him. As far as I am concerned a woman that chooses to have children out of wedlock should be prepared to raise them financially by herself and the only thing she should ask of the sperm donor to be a dad 50% of the time. (but if he does not want to that is his right as he never signed a marriage license) His new honey must know he has kids by you. Oh yeah, by the way.. he does not love you, never did, was just doing you because it felt good, kept you knocked up so other men wouldn't want you. And, you let this happen so you could pretend you were a real family. Stop living in your pretend world and start getting real.

Answer 3

Oh, Honey, he is playing you for a fool. He's getting the best of both worlds and you're letting him. You need to get some child support and tell him to hit the road. Move on now! Don't you think he's kind of a loser to have had kids with you and yet he married someone else and "doesn't know why". What kind of answer is that? Move on now!!!

Answer 4

Yes. It sounds like his feelings are torn between his kids and his other child. He probably would like to have you all together but that won't happen. Give him an ultimatum and decide how long you are willing to wait until he gets his divorce. You have to be tough or your life will keep going on this way and never stop. You don't need to share a man. There are enough to go around!!

Answer 5

I think that you should do whats best for your children and not worry about him too much. Try moving away to make it a "mission" to come see you and the kids. Stop any sexual relations. If he uses the excuse "I wanna see the kids" then let him take the kids on an outting and not with you. I know it hurts but we have to rid ourselves of the pain some how.

Or..... catch him at a place with his wife and say "Hey kids there's daddy!!!!"

Answer 6

Blimey, that is a pickle!

Well if she accuses him of adultery, wouldn't that be the perfect reason for divorce, the divorce that ''he tells [you] he is going to get and never does." Maybe I've got it completely wrong but it sounds like he's just enjoying have two partners (cos lets face it too, he's still with her, he's gotta be?!)

Get out of there as fast as you can, your better than this. Leave him, and all the baggage he carries behind. You can do it! Hope this helps. :)

Answer 7

Your life is repeating itself over and over again, each time it get more and more complicated. It began with the constant break-ups, which ended in him getting married to another woman and having a baby with her.

This guy was yours first .............. Now he has two women, four children, one wife, two places he can sleep and you're wondering what should you do? You wasn't good enough for him to marry and the women he claims he married by mistake gets more respect than you get, because you have to go hide. I hope you didn't have any girls by guy, because neither one of you can teach her to be a self respecting woman, and the world needs to prepare itself for any of his sons that takes after him.

p.s. This guys parents should be wondering, "how could a night of good sex turn out so bad".

Answer 8

This man is having the best of both sides, and taking advantage of all involved. If I were you, I'd consider approaching this lady at some point, you never know she could actually be quite decent, and explain the situation to her. At the end of the day, this man's house of cards is gonna come crashing down sooner or later and it will be no-one's fault but his. You and your family deserve better treatment than this, and that part is down to you to make sure you get it. Get out of this what you really deserve, honesty and truthfulness.

Answer 9

that is a truely sticky situation and i think that most of the soulution has to come from your heart i think he doesnt want her to find out about you and the adultery thing because in the divorce that might mean she gets custody of the child, and you cant fault him for wanting to see his child its his flesh and blood. if you two truely love each other and feel like its meant to be then stick it out think about is he good for the children and can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with him? if you answered no to those then maybe its best your not together but its still your descision remember love is powerful and not easy like alot of people think you have to fight for it so just take things slow your still young and see what happens......and hope for the best

Answer 10

Gal, am so sorry, your whole youth seems to be wasting away.
Are you stuck with this Guy because of the kids?
Against all odds you deserve better and you can achieve it. Give yourself a new start, much as hard as it may seem , your future will be brighter but only if you let him go.