Husband leaving?

Question

My husband and I (married 2 yrs., together 7yrs. with two boys ages 5 and 2), have not been doing well in our relationship lately. Without details, he said that he was going to find somewhere else to "stay." He has walked out before, only to come right back or soon thereafter. Usually I am freaking out and worried about the boys and finances..(he is the main money source). This time I feel a bit upset inside but I am not as bad as usual. I do not worry about me..I am a survivor. I am worried how it may affect my boys mentally,financially etc. I love my husband very much but it has gotten soooo hard for us to get along on a regular basis. We try to resolve issues only to go back to the old ways within no time. I am so confused. What can I do? I mentioned therapy but he is so anti- Oprah/Phil type stuff. Advice??

Just so you know (cathy) I do have a job. A great one at that. I simply stated that he is the MAIN money source...not the ONLY. Secondly, the house is not ours. We rent it from HIS parents, so changing the locks and telling him to stay out is not an option. And yes, I can stand on my own two feet.....I've fallen down before and gotten right back up again.

Answer 1

If you are still going back to the old ways then the issues really aren't resolved.I think if it is at all possible find someone to watch your boys and you and your husband go somewhere for a weekend.Pick a place that has good memories for both of you so it's neutral ground and do some serious talking.Be 100% honest and forth coming.And see what's going thru your minds and hearts underneath the armor.

I hope for and wish you the best

Answer 2

I'm going to be real hard on you. Only because I've been put through the ringer myself. So, what I'm about to say, I say with empowerment to you, not with critisism!

Suck it up! Go out and do what you have to do to get through WITHOUT HIM! If you have to work at Taco Bell and collect public assistance (including food stamps), DO IT and be proud of yourself! The success of just making it on your own and showing him that you don't need him financially is a start! You seem like a person that wouldn't stay on it once you got on your feet. Let me tell you a little secret, my friend, "Success is the best revenge you can ever give!" It may take you some time, but you'll feel a hell of a lot better about your situation and yourself. I'm telling you this from my own experience. It's hard with kids, but it can be done! Good luck to you!

Answer 3

Let him find somewhere to stay and don't be a doormat and keep letting him back. Tell him enough is enough and you need time for yourself. Finances will fall into place, might be tough for a while but it will work out, you said you are a survivor. It affects your boys more seeing this instability. I married july last year and my husband is now in jail for the third time due to domestic violence, this time I will not be visiting him because that makes me an enabler. Sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind. Good luck

Answer 4

The boys will be fine. You can take him to court for child support.
They can visit with him on set days... Maybe you two just need some time apart?
Downside, you will have to get a job, but you'll be okay.
There are many single moms out there doing just fine.

I'm a single dad with 3 kids and there mom hasn't been around for 10 years, no visits, no child support. Nothing.. If I can do it you surely can.

Hang in there... you'll be fine.

Answer 5

First you need to get a JOB and learn to support yourself and your children by your self.

Then you need to change the locks and DO NOT let him back in. !! He chose to leave and he can stay out.

What kind of father wallks out on his wife and children.? What kind of example are your showing your children about a wife that keeps taking back her husband everytime he walks out.

What exactly do you love about your husband..? That part about him leaving or the part about him coming back and leaving again.?

You may say at one time you two had a good marriage or you to have a history together or that you love him because you guys have children together.

But, That good marriage is over, Look at what kind of history you two have together and thank him for the children and tell him stay away.

Answer 6

It is difficult to help you without knowing both of personally. Your choice in screen name leads me in one direction of thought, but I can not base theory or conjecture on that. I do not know his circumstances, so If I were you, I would talk to his friends. Ask them about his behavior. Talk to his family. See if they have any insight to what is going on in his mind. Maybe you might have to do some soul searching of your own. Also, most communities have help programs for separated people who need help getting back on their feet. Here in Pa. it is called New Choices for single mothers, but they help single fathers too. I hope all works out , but sometimes working out for the best ends up not being what we want it to be. But it is still the best.

Answer 7

I would suggest that you leave. It needn't be permanent, but tell him you're tired of the head games. It may force him to re- evaluate what he has with you. Let him know you want it to work but you are not a piece of furniture to be set aside whenever he tires of you. Let him know that you'll come back when he agrees to have couples counselling. Good luck.

Answer 8

sounds like you have the same problem my wife and i have we dont relate to anything anymore,, it seems that she always chooses left after asking me for directions and getting a lets go right answer... good luck myself and my wife are going to call it quits for a year and see where we stand on issues,, i dont recomend this tho,, i wish you the best of luck

Answer 9

"""I kissed a girl and I liked it!"" <--- Ummm"

Answer 10

Girls friends vs my friends?