I am not married...was engaged before...damn glad we didn't go through with it. I'm starting to wonder the point of it, you know? financial gain?tax breaks?maybe less confusing for the kids? i don't get it really. no one is ever who you really think they are once you know them, and when i am get tired....i want to get up and go...that simple. I was just wondering if anyone who is married feels like this...or regret getting married all together?
2007-02-25 18:05:55 · 26 answers · asked by angela k 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
For some reason I never ponder, I don't "reget" anything I've ever done in my life because whatever I see as ups or downs seem to balance out, & I always learned something about myself in the experience. I've been married twice, the first time for a very foolish reason~I felt "needed." Quite a short marriage, though. The person had "issues" I didn't know about. I was incredibly young, & it all seemed like a c'est la vie thing, after which I was a dedicated single person. Then zap! The TRUE soulmate. Except, actually living together wasn't something either of us could do. After we lived apart, the best companion I've had in my life. Died young of a rare disease & I'm glad I was "here" as the only caregiver. I do digress. No, at the start, our perception of who the person "is" is coloured by lots of things that living together proves false. It doesn't necessarily have to do with being unwilling to make compromises, etc., but can be so major there's no choice but to leave. I'm not saying this is easy, but turned out best for me. I know a very few truly "dedicated" married people. I think, if you feel like you "...want to get up & go.." then it's wise if you don't get married. When you're single, you can enjoy so much with so many! & SHUT THE DOOR when you feel like it. It's not selfish; to me it's "freedom." I've heard the "never say never" but I KNOW for certain I'd never get married again because it really wasn't my nature to live that kind of life. Sometimes I wonder if the whole idea of marriage is losing its appeal, (except the financial aspects of it), but for me? I'd have to basically agree--what is the point of it?
2007-02-27 15:33:44 · answer #1 · answered by Valac Gypsy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I will have been married 7 years here shortly. We've had some real tough spots along the way, but we both came into this marriage thinking divorce wasn't an option. Guess what: We both grew up and started thinking as a team. Now we've got a 9 month old baby and things have never been better. The best advice I could give: Don't be in a hurry to get married or divorced.
2007-02-25 18:18:32 · answer #2 · answered by Michael E 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, and a lot of people don't understand this...but my husband and I primarily got married just to make it easier on us for certain things (like financially and so I could get on his medical insurance, etc). And this way, if something ever happens to him (god forbid), at least I have the security of knowing that *I* am getting OUR stuff, and not his ex-wife (his ex would get it since his other daughter is underage...and his ex is selfish like that and wouldn't ever give it to her).
My husband and I love each other with all our hearts and souls...we're very connected to each other spiritually and always have been. So it's not like a piece of paper from the goverment changed that or made it stronger...nah, that piece of paper was just to protect us better in this society. Whether or not we had married, we'd STILL be in love and we'd still be commited to each other.
So no, I don't regret being in a commited relationship with him at all. I don't regret marrying him in the eyes of the government. It's only helped us in the long run (for instance: tax write-offs for married couples! And also, thank god I was on his medical insurance because our daughter was born 3 months early and spent 4 months in the hospital...the bills from that alone would knock you out, seriously...I've NEVER seen a bill for that much money before...it's insane. But since I was able to be on his insurance because we're married, the insurance paid for most of the bills.).
And you're right...if you're not married, you don't need to divorce someone...you just get up and go usually. =P I say do what you FEEL is BEST for YOU...you never know, you might change your mind. And chances are, you WILL change your mind...and probably quite a few times in your life also. It's good to change and evolve...it means you're learning and using your brain!
The guy above me said it perfectly: "The best advice I could give: Don't be in a hurry to get married or divorced." But I think that also goes for unmarried couples (or ANY couple): don't be in a rush to be in a relationship until you really get to know the person, and also don't be in a rush to break it all off so quickly. Marriage/being in a relationship has it's rough spots...ANY relationship does. But working through them is what makes you grow as a person.
Good Luck with all your choices in life!
2007-02-25 18:23:31 · answer #3 · answered by Megan V 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No but I am married to my best friend. We lived together for 5 years before we got married. We have been together almost 8 years now still no kids. Good things come to those who plan and go for it. I am a runner like yourself. My husband is the glue. He will fight for me and never let go. We change for each other and make goals together. We are on the same team. It does not happen over night. I do not regret getting married. When I die I pray it's by his side.
2007-02-25 18:17:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
There have been moments where I regretted getting married, but that was just a fleeting moment. A moment of anger really and negative thoughts surfaced as a means to release that ire, but my wife is the only one in all the world that I believe could put up with my crap. It's why I love her. You get to that point one day and just realize that perhaps this is the person with whom you want to grow old. I was a loner as a young man, but after 16 years of wedlock I couldn't see me being with anyone else or being alone. It just seems so dismal.
2007-02-25 18:14:57 · answer #5 · answered by Pontius 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't regret getting married. (11 1/2 years)
2007-02-25 18:14:26 · answer #6 · answered by Charles 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its the cycle of life.. the married ones wants to go back to singlehood and the singles wanted to get maried. what u have, u despise and what u dont have, u want. but in this life, we only get what we need.
i almost got married few years back and though i was in love with the guy, i would say, i thank God for not letting me marry him, bec maybe i am not cut out to be married at all. and bec i just dont want to live thinking of another person.. its too way taxing for me.
2007-02-25 18:13:27 · answer #7 · answered by The Punisher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married 2 times
I don't have any regrets for the 1st one.. it produced our Son
as for the 2nd?
He is wasting precious space on this Earth and is using air he doesn't deserve
2007-02-25 18:10:14 · answer #8 · answered by Mopar Muscle Gal 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've never been engaged or married, but know people my age and up (I'm almost 19) who are and they regret it. I think it comes with the territory.
2007-02-25 18:09:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i dont regret my marrige its the best decison i hav ever made and some ppl are just stupid they get a divorce for the dumbest resaon and some ppl just get married and they dont really love each other
2007-02-25 18:11:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋