well theres this girl that hes been chattin too on yahoo before he met me so they basiclly have a history together even though theyve never met and ive asked his to stop talkin to her because of the way they are talkin is almost like hes cheating on me well thats how i feel ... I dont know what to do anymore because he keeps logging on yahoo and i have a feeling that hes still chatting to her ...Ive seen him a few times doing it actually .. What do i do ..what can i say ... ive told him that if doesnt want me just tell me ... Weve been married for a year and have a 6 month old daughter ... i dont just want to leave but im not goin to drive myself crazy about it ... Have any suggestions??????
2007-02-25 17:59:45 · 16 answers · asked by NiNA M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
well i have some really good answers so far and heres more that i know about whats hes doing.. I watch him like a hawk but he also go into the computer room and watches porn and you know the rest... I know this is when he chats too.The crazy thing is that i have a dream about it the night before i caught him chattin with this girl...or girls i dont know how many there are but i know of one and actually read what was being said ...it hurt alot i punched a whole in the wall..I talk to him about it all the time thats what most of our marriage has been about us fighting about him chatting.So i told him "ill do what you do and play how your playing" Its how i met him anyways on yahoo.cybering with him soo maybe one day when he finds me cybering with some guy maybe he'll understand what im goin though because i can be a real ***** sometimes and ill leave it on here just for him to find !!!! To harsh!!??
2007-02-25 18:28:48 · update #1
you explain to him all your feelings, your concerns, and why you want him to stop. You tell him your feeling cheated, and you feel you have no other choice but to take some sort of action in order to protect your self, your integrity and your child. Tell him that although he may not agree, that his "cybering" is like cheating to you, and you will not have it. also, if hes doing something so questionable with your presence. I also wonder if he understands whether or not what hes doing is morally wrong, so let ask him and see what he thinks and feels about this situation. sometimes these chat rooms can be very inviting, and get some people hooked. It takes planning and a set of steps to progress out of these problems. I wish you the best.
2007-02-25 18:28:31 · answer #1 · answered by Charlie H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look im sorry to hear that but i think you should dump him because 1- if he's chatting with an other women it means he is not intrested into you anymore. 2- if he hasent cheated on you, he will eventually. 3- you dont want to stay with a guy like that, he will always chat with other girls. Another thing you can do if you dont want to leave him is to watch him close! Go in history youll find what you need, or better yet make a friend that he doesent know of chat with him, it will be clear as water if he is or isent into you anymore. My last suggestion is to spice up the couple if you have been maried for a while, flannel pj wont make the cut, buy some sexy clothes and night gown to make him remember who he fell inlove with in the firts place! good luck, take care.
2007-02-25 18:08:12 · answer #2 · answered by lushious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what is best for you and your baby, you'll figure it out.
Look at this for what it is, all emotions aside, our emotions misguide us sometimes.
It is a form of cheating in my opinion, to have an emotionally questionable relationship with someone other than your significant other, physical or not.
But, sometimes people just need friends, MAYBE they are just friends and there is no need to ask him to cut that relationship off. Telling your husband to do something and asking him are 2 different things! Trust me, been with mine since forever! Use suggestion to your advantage, tell him of another gal you know and her man is doing the same thing, but say she's leaving him or he only speaks to internet buddy when she is in the room. You know something like that, make it really hit home for him. Almost make it seem like it's his idea, get creative! You have to be this way to knock some sense into them every once in a while and trust me it works, you just have to use a little skill and don't be pushy until it's your absolute last resort. If that time comes, don't tiptoe around the issue, be straight and cutting and don't worry about hurting his feelings, it's both of yours' relationship that is at stake!
It's great to be able to compromise, but if it is something that really, truly bothers you don't be afraid to let him know it.
My point in all this rambling: Be accepting to a point but voice your opinion, stand your ground and don't let this man walk all over you. Lastly do what is best for you, your child will look up to you someday, and don't we all want to be strong and caring role models?
************to your additional info: TWO WRONGS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT, leave his a**, don't try to get even! Do you really want to be down at his level?
2007-02-25 18:37:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweetie it IS cheating. You have to give him the hcoice YOU or HER. As much as it might pain you to hear the answer you have to do what is best for you and your child. If your husband is cybering with someone else that means he is fantising with her and that is cheating.
If you are unsure of how far he is really going you may have ot get a little sneaky about it, put a key logger on your computer and it iwll olg all his conerversations this way you iwll have the truth you need.
Good luck sweetie and persoanlly I htink if you have already told him how you feel you deserve better!
2007-02-25 18:06:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that if the relationship that the two of you have means anything to him and that if he cares at all about your feelings he will stop this. Tell him that you would not do something that was hurting him. There is no need to be with a man that you cannot trust. You could always start spending time online and see how he feels. Then if it bothers him the two of you could both stop
2007-02-25 18:26:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is CHEATING!!!! Call him on it adn tell him it is either you or her and give him 1 day to make up his mind it will be worse on your daughter if he keeps doing it and you divorce him when she is older. Hes a jerk and if he cant make up his mind in ONE day thats his loss. He will be missing important moments in his kids life and he will be losing you. dont put your self or your daughter through him cheating on you with some chick on the internet. just leave him. he probably doesnt even deserve you if he wont stop chatting with her after you have asked him to stop. put you and your daughter first. Good Luck! Let me know how it goes. and if you need to talk you can email me at limes.and.lemons@hotmail.com Good Luck again.
2007-02-25 18:15:41 · answer #6 · answered by love_beauty_kindness 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow - this is hard. I am also married, and I guess if I caught my husband cybering, I would be upset too.
You said that he started talking to her before you 2 met. Do you think they are just friends? I have guy friends that my husband knows about.
Do you by chance know his password? If so, I would check his message archives. If it is harmless, then I would talk to him about it.
Did you tell him it bothered you? I know that seems like an obvious question, but my husband always says, "Hon, I can't read your mind."
Hope things work out for you. Take care!
2007-02-25 18:10:18 · answer #7 · answered by coconutnoodle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really loves you he won't want to hurt you. whether he is cheating physically or mentally it's all cheating. Have you really talked to him and explained how much this bothers you. If it's just some girl he chats with and has never seen it shouldn't be hard for him to stop talking to her. Maybe when he leaves you should get one and talk to her yourself let her know how you feel maybe she'll end it. If I were you I'd say it's either her or me!
2007-02-25 18:04:55 · answer #8 · answered by MelC 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sure. thoroughly it is dishonest. the completed concept that they are putting it obtainable is the undertaking. He/She is toying with others thoughts and emotionally dishonest. For arguments sake we are able to assert the guy is chatting-up those single females transgressing and diminishing the cost of his Sacred marriage vows. those vows are holy. you have stood-up in a church professing to God and absolutely everyone which you are going to adore and be real to a minimum of one lady. How does an IM or Cyber intercourse grow to be an option? shame on them!
2016-10-02 00:14:15 · answer #9 · answered by alt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a form of cheating.
Married a year and a kid already? Sounds like things happened pretty fast. Threaten to leave if he doesn't stop. Can you take care of yourself if you do?
2007-02-25 18:06:35 · answer #10 · answered by m k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋