Please not criticism, just honesty. Had an affair w- boss, he ended last week after 5 months. Says he is in love with me but has to make sure his marriage is really over for himself not because of me. He wants to leave but she asked to go to counseling and he says he feels he owes it to her, just to do the right thing.He says if its meant to be it will be.No kids involved I am going crazy....
2007-02-25 17:09:42 · 18 answers · asked by Lady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He still belongs to his wife. Only if he's divorced that you're supposed to be with him. Otherwise, move on with your life. There're plenty of great guys out there.
2007-02-25 17:14:18 · answer #1 · answered by williams 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I'm not really sure what your question is. Rationally speaking, if you're getting involved with a person who's married, you're really asking for it - I don't mean it as a criticism, but just as a reasonable observation. There really isn't anything you can do, other than collect yourself and look for a relationship with someone who is available emotionally and legally. By getting deeply involved with a person whos committments and priorities lie elsewhere, you're taking great risks and setting yourself up for a disappointment. Good news is that 5 months is better than 5 years, you haven't wasted THAT much time, and at least he was honest and broke it off now - instead of stringing you along and dragging it out. Forget him... there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Not to point out the obvious - but why would you want to be seriously involved with a person who doesn't stick to his committments and promises, anyway?
2007-02-26 01:33:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you actually handle the truth? Truth is, you are more than likely a fling. Why in the hell did you get involved with a married man if you weren't flinging it yourself? You cannot make the social leap from whore to wife, you are only feeling what you and no one else has done to yourself. I am not trying to criticize you, I am attempting to wake you up from the wonderland that you have been in. Your boss has realized that the wife at home may be alot of things that he doesn't like, however they are pale in comparison to what you are. He made is choice, the final test is whether or not you are an honorable whore or a malicious one. My advice is to get some therapy, not for the boss relationship but for your self destructive lifestyle.
2007-02-26 01:48:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is going to be really hard for you, especially if you really dig him. The only thing is that when you started a relationship with him, you knew he was married, and at some point you had to realize he wasn't going to be completely 'available' to you. Although he doesn't have any kids with her (which is good, no strings attached), they are still married. Like you mentioned, if things are meant to be , then they will. Help him in any decision he decides to make...although it will hurt you, it will show him that you truly care or love him. Try not to give him a hard time, because he seems to be having a hard time as it is. He wouldn't want to have someone else bother him,...instead, if he is having a rough time at home, be the one that takes his mind off of things...be his shoulder. Everything is meant to be....and everything/everyone has a purpose....maybe you were put in his life so that he could see what a wonderful person you are and that he misses that from home....maybe you were put in this situation to help him realize that he needs to get his act straight.....good luck...and try to always think positive
2007-02-26 01:24:47 · answer #4 · answered by samantha m 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
For now, back off. He's right: if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. If he says he is in love with you, he may be telling the truth. Yes, of course you're going crazy--it's a crazy situation. It MIGHT go your way in the long run. It might not. You don't have much power here, except over your own behavior. Are you planning to continue working for him? Might be better to find employment elsewhere as you face the future.
2007-02-26 02:01:57 · answer #5 · answered by z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man took a sacred vow in the presence of God to care and love for his wife. Despite whatever that happened between them, she has every right to want to try and save this marriage. And YES, he owes it to her to go for counselling. People make harsh decisions every time and some unfortunately have to live in regret for the wrong decisions they make. This man is showing responsibility and rationality in going through with counselling before making a very big decision. If you love him, let him do what is right. If there is really no future with his wife, i'm sure he'll know where to find you. You dont have to wait for him, though. Look forward and be positive that God always has his reasons. You will find happiness one day. I wish you all the best!
2007-02-26 01:50:10 · answer #6 · answered by snoringcouchprincess 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So, you want honesty, but no criticism.
OK, here's honesty. Women that have affairs with married men show no class and very little self-respect. They demonstrate a blatant disregard for trust and faithfulness. Finally, if he did it to this wife, he'll do it to you...if he ever does hook up with you.
That honest enough?
If you're reeeeeal smart, you'll take this opportunity to break it off with him and start immediately to find another job. This whole situation is poison for you and for you're bosses business and family. Disengage now and learn from your mistake.
2007-02-26 01:23:29 · answer #7 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm sorry to tell you, but he is done with you. He had his fun and is now using his wife, who if he did care for he wouldn't be cheating on, as an excuse to blow you off. He even resorted to vague lines like "if it's meant to be, it will be". There is nothing more you can do with him. I suggest taking some time off from relationships to get in touch with yourself and find what it is that you want. Healthy relationships never start with cheating because it only leads to doubt later about that person's ability to be faithful to their current partner. In time, I hope you can find someone better for you who will respect you and treat you properly.
2007-02-26 01:18:31 · answer #8 · answered by fly guy 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
To make is sweet and short get over it. Think about it, if he did this to his wife why do you think he would not do it to you? He married her and promised to love, honor and love her forever and he was with you for 5 months? He will do it to you as well. You are better off without him and please look at this as lesson learned you have ot live with yourself for the rest of your life knowing you were the OTHER woman. That thought alone should make you rethink it.
2007-02-26 01:54:34 · answer #9 · answered by daisy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes we hear it but we still take a deep breath to see if we could smell it, and yeah ............ it was a fart! The point is, "why do we go to the extreme?"
Unable to change what's been done, you must learn to read between the lines. If he is willing to repair his marriage or better yet give her the chance she deserves .......................... sweety, he was never going to leave her in the first place.
p.s. that's just flat out honesty with no criticism.
2007-02-26 01:20:25 · answer #10 · answered by dadgonewild 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am not going to say anything regarding the affair and the man that you are actually sad over - there is too much to say about that subject.
I am going to say this however: If you love someone, set him free. If he comes back, he's yours. If he doesn't, he never was.
2007-02-26 01:19:43 · answer #11 · answered by Aneska G 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋