Best friends for 13 yrs, then no contact at all. What's your take on this?

Question

We had known each other since '92. The last time we talked was just shortly after I had stayed over w/her a in Sept. of '05.. After that, I didn't hear from her at all. What I don’t understand is, while I was there in 05, as well as the 1 or 2 x we talked after that, we didn’t fight or argue, and if I did cause her any upset or slighted her in some way, I have no idea what it was b/c she never told me about it. How is it that 2 people who used to call each other best friends for 13 years now all of a sudden don’t talk at all? I called and left more messages than I can even count & tried im’ing and e-mailing, all w/no response from her. Imagine how I felt when I found out via myspace that she was getting married?! This was once something that I thought I would be a part of and certainly never have had to find out this way about. If she didn't want to talk to me anymore, for whatever reason, she should have at least said so. I deserve at least that much. What's your take on all this?

Answer 1

If you're not aware of something you did, it's probably something outside of your relationship that you can't control that caused her to drop contact. It could be possible that her husband-to-be is controlling her to an extreme and blocking any chance she has to communicate with you. This could be true especially if you're a man. As for what to do, take it in stride. Friendships don't always last but you should relish the memories you made and be open to new friendships. Several good friendships are better than one "best" friendship. Fame is fleeting, but so are friends. Assume it doesn't have anything to do with you and move on. You won't get anywhere dwelling on why. Rather, think about what the best part of your relationship to her was and attempt to make new friends that you can trust and share with like you did with your old best friend. Give her some time and then contact her again later. Don't think for a second that you don't deserve an explanation or an apology, but be understanding and try to place yourself in her shoes and think of any times you left people behind and what it might have meant to them. Good luck.

Answer 2

i think part of what has happened is this

best friends then nothing without any reason for offence that you are aware of

she found a 'significant other' and simply dumped everyone else in the process - this can often happen if the new guy is controlling but it is her choice to take up with someone like that

it is heartbreaking when a close friend just decided that they have what they want thanks and just simply ignore you

if she failed to even invite you to her wedding then at that point you will know where you stand friendshipwise

i would write her a note and send it via snail mail

short and to the point - ask when the wedding is going to be

then leave it and wait and see what happens - meanwhile continue with your life and find other friends

Answer 3

SHE IS AVOIDING YOU MEANS SHE IS WITH HER LIFE WITHOUT YOU SO DON'T DISTURB HER AND U.this is reality .people do these things but again there are her parents who may have objected in ur friendship .u dont know the circumstances around .its easy to blame others but think a girl having marriage soon may not be comfortable .although we say we have become liberal but there are some families who dont like their girl having a frien who is boy.they cant gulp the true girl boy friendship.

Answer 4

As sad as it sounds, people do drift apart. You may have said something (without meaning it) to offend her and she decided to just never talk to you again. I would send her a final card to congratulate her on her impending nuptuals, and leave it at that. Sounds like you have done all you can - sorry

Answer 5

the future husband is jealous or she is in love with u, and has to save her future by blocking u out.

well that sounds more dramatic and corny movie like than i had intended...but its what came to mind.