Please not criticism, just honesty. Had an affair w- boss, he ended last week after 5 months. Says he is in love with me but has to make sure his marriage is really over for himself not becaus of me. He wants to leave but she asked to go to counseling and he says he feels he owes it to her, just to do the right thing. I am going crazy....
2007-02-25 15:51:15 · 16 answers · asked by Lady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are no children invloved..
2007-02-25 16:39:01 · update #1
You need to leave it alone. you dont get a say in this youre not his wife! She is not you. Ever heard that sideline song. You should take a listen it may open your eyes.
2007-02-25 16:02:35 · answer #1 · answered by sexycat_1984 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you going crazy!
I think (despite the obvious) that it shows alot of character on his part to be honest with you and tell you that.
He didnt have to say anything and really how would you have known.
If the two of you ever are going to have anything together, you need to let him make sure on his own that this marriage is dead.
That way when he does leave he wont look back and you can have him all to yourself.
Counseling rarely works
wait 2 months if he is not back move on....
DONT call him AT ALL
wait for him to call you
his wife is probably clingly and he wants to be sure that you are NOT like her in anyway before he leaps out of the frying pan.
If you really feel like you are going crazy, it might not be a bad idea for you to go to counseling too.
You really will need it if you are with him or not.
If you are with him, it might be a bit hard trusting him
If you arent, you have to find out what attracted you to an unavailable man and made you stay (emotionally attached) for so long so that you dont repeat what you are feeling EVER again.
Just so you know, he missed you too.
He now has to convince himself that he can deal with the financial loss of dumping the wife and the emotional loss of not being able to tuck his children in bed every day!
2007-02-25 16:00:02 · answer #2 · answered by lisa s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would try and forget him
firstly - he violated his position as boss in having a fling with a subordinate
secondly he violated his marriage by having an affair (and if you did end up with him you could never fully trust him not to do the same to you could you?)
he is sending mixed messages to you - he obviously isn't into committing to you - he just wants his cake and eat it too
advice?
kick him to the kerb - find another job if you have to - but don't waste more time throwing good after bad
cut your losses
whilst you are still hankering for him you may be avoiding the true love of your life by being emotionally unavailable
2007-02-25 15:59:16 · answer #3 · answered by Aslan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please leave that environment. You are committing adultery. He is married and belongs to someone else. Don't be a home wrecker. Besides, he is not a faithful person. He owes her more than counseling like he made a commitment. And he would do the same thing to you if you ended up with him. You would be more unhappy than you are now. It's just wrong.
2007-02-25 16:01:32 · answer #4 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey there, I have been in this place as has a few of my friends. It is very hard emotionally on you.. I hope you have someone to talk too , friend , therapist....That will help you stay as functional as you can right now.. These things take a long time to resolve. Build up your support system..and hold on....it will work out, but you need to take care of you. until he and his wife end things...this is the only way you and he will have a chance..Take care...There is a good book. called...Its called a break up because it is broken! Maybe that will help . good luck.
2007-02-25 16:03:47 · answer #5 · answered by janetw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, honey, I feel your pain.
Never have an affair with a married man, ever. It just never works out. I had a similar relationship, although not my boss. He told me that he and his wife were still married "only on paper" and I believed him until one day he left my house saying he loved me and went back to her. I've only seen him once since. It broke my heart. So sorry for your loss, but I don't believe he's coming back to you. You have to move on.
2007-02-25 15:57:54 · answer #6 · answered by Mom Sparrow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave him alone to sort out his feelings. Why would you want a man that cheated? Don't you feel he would do that same to you? (just asking) He must really love his wife to go to counseling with her so I believe you already know the answer..Good Luck
2007-02-25 15:55:37 · answer #7 · answered by angelsdeath420 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
walk away and never look back!
nothing good will come of it and it will demoralize you forever.
I've been where your at and I broke up marriage he left her and then after almost 2 years he started to cheat on me. I confonted him and he told me "all I'll ever be is nothing but a good piece of @SS.
He left me and low and behold went back to her and they got remarried!
That was my third and finial marriage and the last time I had sex over 8 years ago!
2007-02-25 16:03:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know its hard, but you need to give him time. He does owe it to his family to try to do the right thing. Try to occupy your time doing other things. Go out with friends, or try joining something you are interested in. You dont want to become like Fatal Attraction and start causing trouble for him. You are going to have to let this work itself out and if you are meant to be together, you will be.
2007-02-25 15:56:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are wrong for having an affair with a married man. It is always wrong. When I was 21 I had an affair with a married woman and it was wrong then . I have never again and would never again do it. What is wrong with you?
2007-02-25 15:56:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋