what would you say is the apropiate age for a girl with a cell phone to be having boys calling er at night?

Question

my neice is 13 who lives with me and whenever her girl friends call she puts them on speaker phone so I hear everything pretty much but as soon as a guy friend calls she goes up to her room and shuts the door...I am guessing these little punks are saying more to her then she wants me to hear....I dont like it how do I deal with it!!! She is a sweet kid but I dont want these little boys manipulating her into doing anything she does not want to.

Answer 1

im pretty sure its all innocent. i know i would get shy and blush whenever a boy called me at that age. usually we would just talk about school or like movies and pop culture... all harmless talk. dont be worried, shes only 13 and a nosey parent/guardian could really cause tension and cause her to rebel. just go with the flow and at the most just ask who it was but DO NOT PRY! if you get too nosey, she'll cut you off completely and you may lose trust. just give her the benefit of the doubt because most kids do deserve being trusted in their decisions.

Answer 2

First and foremost, I'd say that since you're the responsible adult, SHE'S not the one who should be making the rules of the house! If you've let her decide when she gets to talk and whom she gets to talk to (with no restraint), then you've already set yourself up to get walked all over.
Personally, the rules of my house will be that my daughter (once she reaches the age where we'll have to deal with this type of situation) will not have a cell phone of her own, number one. I don't think there's any reason why a non-working CHILD should have such a freedom. She's not the one paying for it, and is not yet old enough nor responsible enough to set her own boundaries/rules, so she will have to use the house phone (or our cell phones, with strict limitations) until she IS able to pay for that on her own.
Number two, there should be no reason that she should be taking ANY phone up to her room to talk "privately" when she is only 13 years old. To me, the same rules would apply as if the guy were right there in our house--and certainly, in that case, he would NOT be in her room with her where no one was supervising.
This situation just brings me back to the thought of what I was thinking about when I was 13 years old. And I remember that that was the time when I first started wondering about making out, touching, "talking dirty", etc. etc. And the thought of MY daughter, or anyone else's 13 year old thinking about those same things just worries me. Yikes.

Answer 3

u shouldnt listen in on phone calls even if its a boy calling . she is at the age when she is new to this whole dating world but u gotta give her some privancy just think about when u was her age would u of like ur phone calls to be listen in on . its tought being a teenager . ur afraid the boys will confence her to do things she doesnt want to do will conserding her age i think what u should do is let her her have her privacy but dont let her accept calls past 9:30 or 10:00 and if she hangs around with her friends and a boy dont be over pective just till her what time is to be home by even if there are no guys with her . also if she hangs around with a guy without the girls then just make sure a grown up is there. if she gets aboyfriend then u can bring them to the movies or some thing so they can have an inncent date and let her invite him over for a movie. if u rather her not date yet then i think between 14 and 15 is a good time for her to start dating besides most kids do by that age and u dont want her to feel left out or made fun of because u wouldnt let her date do u ? its its like being a teen is hard enought as it is..just ask ur 13 year old this when she is living where are u going? who u going to be with? are their parents or a grownup going to be there? and if she wants to go to a boy and girls party then u can ask her are there partent or a grown going to be there.

the botten line is we all want repect even teens and im not saying she is not respectful but if u keep listening in on her calls then she will just do what ever she wants and not repect u cause u didnt respect her privecy and u didnt trust her. trust is very importain for a teen they want to be trusted and u dont want to lose ur relationship with her its like the saying goes if u want respect u got to earn respect.

o and give her the birds and the bees talk(sex talk)by the time she is 14 cause she might do it and u not know about it and include talk about pection so she knows about it u dont want her to do it with a guy without him using a comdom or her on the pills. the more she knows about sex the more smart decisions she can make about it .

o and bout the cell phone she is abit young but alot of people got one by age 14 i think or some do .but anyway she should have her own phone in her room.

Answer 4

Limit her calling hours, which is hard to do with a cellphone!

You have to offer her some privacy, but there's a fine balance sometimes as teenagers explore male-female relationships. Let her know that the way she behaves makes you wonder, and ask if she can be more comfortable having those phone conversations without having to close doors.

It's a time for testing boundaries.... it was easier when boys had to come by the house and be supervised on the porch! You two will have to come up with mutually acceptable limits, which isn't easy.

Answer 5

One more time: why does she have a cell phone? Whoever gave her the phone should face the consequences. And, be careful: sweet kids usually get hurt. Other kids are sweet only when at home... And I don't think that there is such a thing as "the appropriate age to be called at night by boys, as a girl". You have to win that right by graduating from a high-school, at least.

Answer 6

15

Answer 7

13 is about the norm these days (we have a 16 and a 9). My advice- keep phone curfews. My dad always said nothing good happens after midnight (or 10 if you're 13). She'll be dealing with all SORTS of people who will try to manipulate her- all you can do is equip her then protect her- way to go!

Answer 8

She has a cell phone, all bets are off. The only thing you can do is tell her she can't accept calls after, say, 10 pm.

She's at the flirting age. I doubt anything truly innapropriate is happening--it's just that she is experimenting with how to talk to boys.

Please tell me you don't eavesdrop on her conversations, even when on speaker. She will find out eventually and will not trust you--and she will start to rebel more. (Trust me, I have many friends who did.)

Answer 9

Manipulating? Wrong word of choice there, sweetie.

Anyway, my rule is that a teenager should not have a cell phone until she's 17. That's just my rule, though... Yeah, the kids who are under my rules are very bright in school, spell well, read well, and are very good in school, while my neighbor kids who are approximately 17 to 19 years old struggle to spell very easy words, use the English Language incorrectly, and are very dunce.

Am I saying a Cell phone affacts a teen's life? Yes I am. The time he/she should be studying and reading some kind of newspaper or story book, the cell consumes that...

Another reason teens should be restricted from using cell phones is that late night conversation influences sexual behavior.

Answer 10

When I was 13 it was my father being mad for my long long talks at the phone.....although he knew the guy I was talking to....nowadays it's pretty difficult to supervise kids and much more difficult cell phone calls. I don't think she needs a cell phone at the house. Tell her to shut it down at 8 o'clock and if someone wants to talk to her after this hour, they can call her at the house number so you can stay around her.