Why is he crying all the time?

Question

My son is 4 and a half months old. He had colic up until well i dont know if he still has it. I am confused as if he might be spoiled from the colic. He cries when you do not pay any attention to him. He wants us to entertain him all the time and when you leave him he starts crying! I know nothing is wrong with him because when you turn elmo on he smiles and giggles. How do I break this? I am going absolutely insane! When he cries my fiance seems to think to put him in his crib and let him for for 30 minutes or more. But i want to carry him around just so he stops crying. He seems to think that i am spoiling him and to let him cry! UGHHH!

Answer 1

My son, also, had colic... it was NOT fun! And I know exactly what you mean about him needing to be entertained constantly. My son was the same way. You are spoiling him... to an extent! Its very hard to spoil a young baby. I think, more than anything, you are just wearing yourself down. Your son is okay to cry if you KNOW he's fine. If you pay attention to him and play with him, then wak away (with him safely strapped in his seat or something) to do dishes o use the washroom or whatever, and he starts crying, let him cry! Believe it or not, I neve let my daughter cry. She is now 20 months and I still regret it today. My son is seven months and henow knows that I won't respond to him when he's fussing, unless there's a problem. Your son will likely be mad that he's not getting the desired response so he may get loud, but it will subside. He has to learn how to entertin himself. I let my son cry for a little bit in his crib if I know he's tired but is fighting it. I let him go 5 minutes, then I go in (don't pick him up), assure him that I'm there, rub his back for a minute or so, then leave the room again. If he cries more, I let him go 10 minutes before going in, but this time, I cut down the time I spend in the room and then after that, he usually goes to sleep. If, however, he cries again, I let him finish his crying until he goes to sleep. I, obviously, check on him once all is quiet but I've found that, now, after starting this 2 months ago, he is able to soothe himself back to sleep, he doesn't cry simply for attention anymore and he's a joy to be with. With my daughter, I was a new, first time mom, who believed that babies never cry for no reason... I soon realized that, though they don't cry for no reason, sometimes, the reasons they cry for is simply to have someone look at them. You need your time too, and if it ever gets to be too much for you to handle and you need a breather, don't hesitate to take one. Put your son where he's safe, in his crib or seat, and go to your room, close your door, cloe your eyes, and just breathe! Dont feel guilty for it... you were a human before you were a mom, and as a human, we all need a break...and even more so when you're a mother. I share in what you are saying and I hope that my suggestion will be of some help to you. You can't care for your little man if you dot care for yourself first. Babies feed off of your moods. If you are frustrated or cranky, your baby is likely to follow step for step. Take your time, being a mom is a learning curve that you, nor anyone, will or can perfect! Remember that... don't stress out too much, these things pass!!!! Good Luck and best wishes for peaceful days to come :)

Answer 2

You can't spoil a baby that young. Babies don't learn how to manipulate you until they're at least a year old. Right now, he just wants to be held or played with, fed, etc. Imagine you're in this new an interesting world seeing everything for the first time, and all you were allowed to do is lay somewhere and stare at the ceiling. He's probably just bored. And you may just have a clingy child, which is just his personality.

I would try a baby swing, or a baby gym you can lay him under on the floor for him to kick at and play with. Leave plenty of rattles and toys within his reach for him to play with, and keep him in the same room as you. If you want to relax and watch tv, he may be just happy playing with some toys on the floor.

However, if the crying gets to be too much, and you're getting beyond frustrated, it's OKAY to put him in his crib for 10 to 15 minutes while you take a quick shower or just a breather to calm down and relax before trying again.

Good luck! It will end soon, I promise :)

Answer 3

My son does that sometimes. He's an attention whore like his mom xD. But what I do is I give him his nuni(Pacifier), lay him on the couch next to me and let him cry. Every few minutes I look over at him, coo and smile and tell him I love him, and he falls asleep after about ten minutes. Yes, the crying is hard on any good parent, but if you don't let him learn now, imagine when he's 30 pounds and wanting to be carried around ALL the time. The crib thing, they found out doesn't help. Imagine if you were a little person trapped behind bars with the only comfort you know missing. I found that out and wanted to cry because my husband and I used to do that @_@

Answer 4

Most child development and medical experts say you can't spoil a baby as young as your son. The general consensus is that, if a crying baby receives prompt attention, he'll feel more secure and will develop less of a need to cry, except when there's something wrong (wet or dirty diaper, gas, hungry, etc.). Usually it takes until around 6 to 8 months before a baby starts to understand cause and effect and the crying becomes more of a behavior issue where you may need to find other ways to redirect him.

If I were you, I'd go ahead and pick him up and soothe him. If you don't have a baby carrier (like a Baby Bjorn or Snugli), you might want to get one and see if he'll take to it. That way, you can have him close to you but still be able to get things done and give your arms a rest.

For more, check out babycenter.com - they have all kinds of great articles, and the one I found on whether you can spoil babies is here:

http://www.babycenter.com/expert/baby/babybehavior/3446.html

Answer 5

He doesn't sound like a high-need baby to me.. he sounds like a normal "only child." He doesn't have older siblings to entertain him... so it's up to you to put entertaining things around him. Get him mobiles and put him in a swing... lay him in the floor on a blanket in whatever room you're in, so he can see you and hear you. Baby swings are great because you can move him around with you as you do laundry, fix dinner, make beds, etc... You can't let him stop you taking care of your life responsibilities... but he IS one of those responsibilities. If you don't want a 9 month old or 2 year old who demands your attention all the time, then you need to teach him to entertain himself... easily done at this age with a bit of effort on your part.

And, I don't believe you can spoil a child of his age. He's just staring to hold his head up, how could he possibly be trying to manipulate you?? He's unhappy and doesn't have the skills to make himself happy... so distract him, give him entertaining things to look at and hold... and when those wear thin, then pick him up and carry him around a bit.... and then try again.

Oh.. and he may still have colic. My daughter's both had it through 9 months.

Answer 6

Oh my God. I swear I'm in the exact same situation. Well, I was. My daughter is a bit older now. They said my daughter had colic. So I'd pick her up to keep her from crying and my fiance would say leave her alone and let her cry. One thing I've learned is that he's right. My daughter is sooo spoiled now. Trust me, I know it's hard to ignore them, but if you don't, then you will be doing this for months or years to come. His colic is gone. Colic is always gone by 12 weeks. Now he's just spoiled. Take my word, honey, and let him cry it out. It'll be worth it in the long run.


And I was dumb and listened to all that crap about how you can't spoil a baby. Bullsh*t. I've learned my lesson and I hope my experience will help you learn to. Good Luck!

Answer 7

your baby doesnt have the mental compasity to be spoiled they're mind just doesnt work like that yet not until around 9 months . Your baby b/c of the collic somewhat missed the oppertunity to learn to self entertain. so to a certain extent your man is right but not in the crib it will be hard but try putting your baby on the floor with some rattles and toys if he cries dont pick him up it shouldnt take long for him to learn to play by himself.....dont stop holding him all together it is very impotant to bonding but you could be sorry in a few months with a baby strapped to your side

Answer 8

The only thing you can do is be not-so-mean parents who care about their kid and let him cry when there is nothing wrong. Then after a while, he will learn to be less spoiled. When they are spoled as a baby, they may still be as they get older, and you dont want to take that risk. Buy him little play stations so he can entertain his self for a while. Good Luck! :)

Answer 9

If it is colic, then try turning on your vacuum cleaner, or starting your washing machine. Allot of times the noise will distract your son. There is nothing wrong with holding him, as children this young need to know that they are cared for and their needs met. Trust me you can not spoil your baby by making him feel loved and cared for.

Answer 10

It sounds like he's used to getting the cuddles from when he was poorly, however you can break the cycle but you have to be strong! You can try an interactive/educational toy to amuse him. If he still cries when you walk away, just pop your head around the corner and talk to him to let him know you are still there. If it's bedtime or nap time, you could try to leave hime for 5 minutes and then go back in and pat his back, just to let him know you are there, but don't pick him up. Then try to leave him for 10 minutes and so on increasing the time a little as you go. It is hard at first, but he will get used to it and so will you!