Okay, my husband works, I don't, I am a full time student and I take care of our son-full time also. We both are learning slowly how to save money and pay our bills on time-so he thinks the solution to this is for him to lie to me(almost every week) about how much he makes(which is different every week because he is hourly, and works on heavy equipment so if it rains he doesn't work and how long of a lunch he takes and so on), then he puts up money-now I will admit he does not use this money he puts up for his personal use-he uses it for bills and just emergency cash-which is good-but is it right that he lies about it to me? I think that when you lie to someone(especially in a marriage) that it's one of the worst things you can do. Then he tells me to get over it, that Im blowing it out of proportion, and that money is none of my buisness. I just want to know if everyone thinks he is in the right for doing this, and saying that it's none of my buisness? Please be honest. Thanks.
2007-02-25 15:23:00 · 5 answers · asked by skg20051 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well i wouldnt say that his lieing is the worst thing, i mean its not good but he could be doing something worse like spending it or gambling it and he isnt. He puts some away so that if you guys are in a bind you will be okay. I think its a good thing that he even thought about doing it. And he may be lying about how much he made so that you use less money to try and get by instead of over spending because you feel like you have extra. But it still is your business he is your husband after all. I would just let it go though. try not to make a big deal out of it anymore, i think that you are just stressed out over the whole money situation that this seems worse than it really is. If he is taking care of you and your son than his intentions are good!
2007-02-25 15:52:51 · answer #1 · answered by sexycat_1984 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money is your business because it is a family budget that you both need to handle. Are you sure that he lies about amounts he makes? If yes, then you should tell him that it is unacceptable and suggest to have a joint account or agree with him, that he shows you pay-slips. So that you could both have visibility to how much you can spend. You need to learn to negotiate (not an easy, but achievable thing). Personally I like to have my independence and while looking after a child is a hard job, I would still look for an opportunity to earn some money myself.
2007-02-25 23:49:25 · answer #2 · answered by Alyssa Macey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You see this is where partnership comes in you have to help making decisions and as well you should have been working for your own money as well. Yes he is wrong for saying that money is none of your business but you have to remember as well he is working hard for it. He thinks because you are just staying at home that you have no right to the money that he toils for.
This is where communication comes in with my marriage we both work and my husband works for more money than I do by five times and more and we split up our money I have a really good job and my money isn't small but they say that you live to your salary and we split bills so that one doesn't feel pressured by the end of the month. My husband could manage with the house hold as well as our luxuries but I prefer that I am his wife and I would help him.
There are times that hey I don't want to pay for going to the hair dresser and pay for my hair or nails and he would give it to me without a fuss and its nice that when in turn he wants to put gas in the car he could tell me hey honey I need money to put gas in the car and I could. It makes me feel good as well he knows that if anything happens he has me to depend and I could lean on him as well but I am not a needy wife and I think that you have become a needy wife.
You shouldn't have put yourself in that situation you should have been independent and I assure you that when you are bringing in an income he wouldn't have told you that its not your business. Now that my pops is retired and is working at the back end at home on his business my mom helps him seeing that she is also retired and my father works way harder than my mother and he wouldn't ever tell her this.
You wonder why I guess but the answer is simple.
This is where compromise as well as partnership comes into a relationship...
2007-02-25 23:40:14 · answer #3 · answered by *Pretty In Pink* 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Given that his income is unstable, you chose to be a student and a mom. He is the major bread winner and you are complaining. Maybe you should put off your education or just part time.
Don't know how old he is but he may be resenting the fact he works hard and has no money to spare, and a nagging wife
2007-02-25 23:57:18 · answer #4 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you're his wife and you're making it your business. Tell him you know women who's husbands told them that and now they have to answer to the courts and their ex's about that child support money. And another thing, don't talk rude and hateful to you, you're not his doormat or slave.
2007-02-26 00:06:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋