I am gay but CRAZY in love with A female..someone PLEASE help :(?

Question

I have always been attracted to men, I know im gay, im not young and going through any phase. Sexually im only attracted to men, BUT im in love with a female. She means everything to me, i would take a bullet for her. I cant see myself with anyone else BUT her. I love her so much and on top of that shes someone who I KNOW will never leave or hurt me. The only problem is, it obviously wouldnt work in bed. I think shes beautifull though, nothing wrong with her in anyway. Im just not able to get sexually attracted to her. What can I do. I dont want to be with anyone else, I love her so much and I know where ment to be. I would give her the damn world if I could. But im GAY!!!! But I rather NEVER have sexual plessure again, than to spend my life with someone else. Someone PLEASE help, should I just take 1000 pills of viagra or something? Lol but no seriously what should I do????? She is the ONLY one for me. And PLEASE no stupid remarks.

Also I will NEVER be able to fall in love with a man, im just attracted to them sexually unfortunatly.

Answer 1

your a strange case,the love you have for her is not the marrying kind.

Answer 2

A full decade? Do you really know what a decade consist of or can you just not count? Perhaps Republicans have had to spend their time in office fixing what was broken under your political party. I lean towards the Republicans often and I have nothing against people's sexual preference.. it sure seems you do however. Keep your nose out of other people's bedroom. I do have a problem with abortion but when you have so many people that are pro-choice, what do you expect the government to do? As for welfare, you want the government to stop it so that children are made to suffer because their parents are broke? There should only be restrictions on welfare and the Republican party has imposed those and are working on more. You act as though you are in middle school... so let me tell you, taxes pay for your school and your education so in a way you are the recipient of some type of welfare.

Answer 3

Go with your emotions. If this is the women you love then then you should be together. You can get your sexual release from men on the side I guess BUT you better make it clear to the guys you look to hook up with that you are only interested in sex before you go hurting peoples feelings.

Personally I find the random hook ups on craigs list to be rather nasty. I wouldn't touch them with a 10 foot pole. For sex my recommendation would be to find a gay friend who wants a playmate. Again make it clear you are interested in being friends with benefits or you are going to end up hurting feelings. Actually even better you could talk to her and see if she would be interested in 3 somes. You find find a BI guy who is interested and take the better end while he fucks your girl. That all depends on how the girl feels about it though. If she is accepting of you being BI you could possibly have some fun 3 somes.

I used to be in that situation I guess. I was more attracted to women but emotionally attracted to men. I've been become more and more attracted to my type of men over the last couple years and am totally boy crazy now.

Answer 4

Hi Jay,

Wow!.

I admire your courage to speak out about how you feel because this must be such a tough thing you are going through and am hoping that I can help in some way, despite all of the answers you have already.

I certainly don't think for a second that you should judge yourself too harshly because human beings, whether female or male, gay or straight, are always developing and growing who we are and I do actually think that it is possible to get sexually attracted to someone even if we are not normally attracted to that sex or type of person.

Love is tricky for many people and because some people want the 'all or nothing' kind of love which for many relationships, even straight ones, can make it very hard work. I would definitely risk having something with this girl and because how you feel now is what is important and no one can predict the future or what the next day might bring. If my landlord was to ask me out and tell me he loved me too and wanted me, I would in a shot and I would not care if that meant that sometimes I would have to share him!.

But it all really depends upon this girl and if she likes you back, then hey, get yourself talking to her but leave the issue of your sexuality out of the equasion at least until you have given her a
good chance to see how you feel about her after some time dating her. Don't come on too strong in the beginning because
this might overwhelm you both of you so taking it naturally is a
great idea.

Only let her know about your sexuality when you have gotten to know her thought patterns a lot more, then make the decision whether or not to tell her or to just let things happen when they do. I truly believe from what you have said, that I think that she has come to mean so much to you and I wouldn't throw this away when you know for sure that you aren't going to have a long term relationship with a man. I also think that working through some of the mixed bag of feelings you have about your sexuality will help you draw some clarity on things too because if your attraction to men is largely sexual, then that means that you
might be better suited to a hetrosexual or bisexual lifestyle?.

Being gay straight or bisexual is nothing at all to be ashamed of and for many, it can be a living nightmare. But you are first and foremost, a human being and you have to be allowed to explore that just as much as sexuality itself - it is an intrinsic part of who we are to explore. This is not going to be an easy journey for you, but it is one full of opportunity and to get to know parts of your own self you never get to know once you define yourself to just one thing. A woman's touch sends many men absolutely wild and because touch is a sensuous act that is sure to turn many people on.

You have seemingly known this girl from just a distance and I guess this does make things awkward anyway (sexual attraction) wise and sometimes getting in a little bit closer might give you an erection you never though possible?. But if your intense feelings for her are this strong, then it would sure follow that you would end up getting physical to some degree. For some women, she would be with a man who loved her and treated her well rather than be with someone who could give her sex, so it all depends on the woman.

I personally would be with the man I love even if that meant he didn't find me sexually attractive. I hope that you ask this girl out and get to know her more and because it is rare to have such strong feelings like you have towards someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Let the feelings unfold naturally - forget viagra - you'll find that with love and time, amazing things happen between people and you can always change your mind.

I wish you so much luck and hope that this girl wants you too because you sound so incredible and such a loving and warm
person!. Go for it.

Answer 5

Have you talked to her, dose she love you like that as well. You may have a open relationship, were you both can have your own sexually explotes on the side, as long as thats it it is. Sometimes love is more then just sex and if you have a real true conction make it work. Sex is just that so come up with once a week or once a month you can both go out and get your grove on and then the rest of the time its just you two. good luck and all the best.

Answer 6

I know that this won't be something that you want to hear. But does she know any of this?? Especially the gay part. If she doesn't you need to tell her very fast, and see what she has to say on the subject. And let her decide on it. Now, if she does know and she feels the same, go to a counselor to find out what to do. If she knows and doesn't you need to let her go. If you get together and get married, it's not going to work. Sex is a big part of marriage, and if you can't do anthing with her, she is going to go and find someone else who can. And if you do something with her you aren't going to be satisfied, you will eventually. If you really love her, you will let her go and find a man who can be everything she needs..... forever. Im sorry that you are going through this because you sound like you really do love her. Best of Luck!!!

Answer 7

there is a different between love and "in love" if you really think you are in love, then as much as you may be trying to deny it in your mind, chances are deep down you could potentially be sexually attracted to her..

i know accepting that you were gay must have been a long and challening process, and you are proud and don't want to just lose that gay label that you battled yourself so hard to get..

but sounds like there is genuine attraction here, so you might be bisexual, and this is good.

guess the next issue is well, how does she feel about you? does she only see you as a friend, or does she love you and want romance, sex, etc? talk to her and share your thoughts.. if she seems to want more than a friendship, tell her you want it too, but will have to go thru a confusing learning curve.. explain that sex with women is not something you have ever thought about, and that it might be scary and may not happen..

but you don't have to rush to sex. start with dating and take it from there

Answer 8

Your behavior is learned my friend. If you love this women you can learn to love this women with all your heart. Stop looking at the gay porno and start focusing on loving this women. Sexual attraction starts in the mind so first you need to realize that you are capable of loving her and being sexually attracted to her. I have seen situations like this before and its 100% possible. Take control of your mind.

Answer 9

gay crazy love female

Answer 10

its possible to be in love with someone and not have a sexual relationship. or you might just have a very intense friendship.

maybe you just feel so stressed about the fact that youre attracted to someone youve never been attracted to before and thats hindering things.

otherwise, if i were you, i would talk to her. tell her how you feel. maybe if she feels the same way, you can try dating. and then see if things dont work themselves out.

good luck.

Answer 11

Wait. I know that sounds silly but wait. Often these kinds of situations resolve themselves, or at least end up pointing you towards a path. For example, she may find someone . . . or you may, although you think you won't. :) Be patient. All I can say is I have been in a similar situation (long story - won't bore you with it here but you can message me if you want to hear it) and time does help.