My husband is lazy and doesn't clean or help around the house. How can I not have resentment towards him?

Question

By the way, I don't nag him at all, and I work 40 hours each week. It's not just the cleaning, I do all of the maintenance & hardware type projects as well.

I love him very much and he has a lot of great qualities; this is why I ask because I don't want to have any resentment towards him in the relationship.

Answer 1

Talk to him gently and let him know that it's too much for one person. You both live in the home and you need his help. My husband helps A LOT but it's taken time to get to that point. He does all the laundry and straightens up after himself. He occasionally cooks and washes dishes if I'm tired. He also does the lawn and works on the cars etc. But I think it's really sexy when he gets up early and takes on some of these chores without my asking. My talking to him finally sank in.

Answer 2

Well, it obviously bothers you, so I'm sure you are harbouring resentment. The only way to get this fixed is to get it out in the open with him and explain how you are feeling. Sometimes guys just need a list, then they'll do stuff. They just don't think of things that need doing like we women do.

Answer 3

Do not spend your energy on resentment or explaining about your feelings, no way! Next time he would like to be intimate with you tell him that you are tired because you had to: "vacuum the house" or "clean the dishes", or whatever it was you were cleaning.

Answer 4

oh my; surely you can find some other redeeming qualities that you husband has to balance his lack of helping around the house......perhaps if you don't nag him about it, he will start helping more....

well if you love him so much, then you shouldn't have resentment for cleaning his house

gosh, you do it all, why do you need him? quit doing it all, don't resent him because you think you are superwoman

Answer 5

Let it go. Men don't like to do that sort of thing.

BUT...LOL...what I said to my husband when he told me that he doesn't do as good of a job as I do was: "well, I had no idea that you felt that way. It's ok honey, I'll do the housework. You just relax and watch your tv."

Then the next time he asked me if we could make love, I told him: "Oh, but I don't really do a good job!" And I rolled over and went to sleep!

When I got up in the morning...LOL...he had made me breakfast in bed and started the laundry!!

Answer 6

You can't; it's natural to be ticked off at someone who's supposed to be an equal partner. Looks like you married too soon, before you found out what a lazy f*ck he is. Best bet is to lose him, 'cause he will NOT change! You deserve better...

Answer 7

All you have to do honey is go about your daily routine as if he
wasn't even there--like, ignore him completely--act like you're
not married and you're all by yourself. BUT--do not clean up after
him in any way. In three days or less, he will start getting the
hint. [..also, don't fix any meals for him..]

Answer 8

Get over it?

Depending on if you don't work, then yeah, it's your full responsibility. I work, so does my hubby, but I take care of all the housework, and cooking. He takes care of the garage, the cars, his other toys, and the finances. Works great for us.

Answer 9

hell yeah you should have resentment toward's him. it takes two in a marriage to make it...that includes the housework!!!!

Answer 10

How about focusing on his positive qualities. Otherwise, please send him to me and I'll appreciate him and you can have the house all to yourself. Try to focus on his good qualities. Nobody is perfect.