Ok...I really need some advise?

Question

I am coming over a depression caused by my ex when he left me 8 months ago. When we were together he was depressed and felt suicidal at times. He wanted me to be there for him and have me to talk to and I did because I cared. Through-out this he would not anwser his phone, tell me he would commit suicide by the end of teh school year, he was a teacher. Eventually he told me had a child w some one night stand before we met, and was ashamed and not ready for being a father. So I helped him, only for him to be emotioanlly stable to leave me and get to know the mother of the child. I understand in a way how things can happen, however..he turned so cold to me, him and this girl made me feel so bad about myself, she called me and told me things he said about me to her that weren't nice. You know, I never did anything to him but help him, we never fought. Its one thing to have feelings for someone else, but why did he have to devalue me. IIronlically I suffered from a deep depression because

I really loved him. He is not with her now, but they remain friends. He closed me off and treated me like garbage, when in fact the girl he got pregnant is just that. He also blamed me for them getting together, if I didnt tell him to be a part of the child life??!!!
When we were together he was so compassionate and respectful. I am still saddened and it hurts still. I tried to confront him and he told me if I need help to get it from a psychologist. That was horrible, after all I did for him. WE are 29 yrs old, educated. I dont understand. How do I get by knowing he is scum even t hough he made me feel so horrible and I didnt do anything. He turned from day into night. Apparently he seems to be alive and well now, and I am the one who is suffering. I didn't deserve this. And still I have not heard from him, I only want a genuine apology.

Answer 1

WOW!
Um my best advise is that you get some counceling for this is something you can't deal with on your own. plus if you think you are depressed you need to take meds till you got over it trust me if you put your faith in God he will carry you through this* that is if you believe ) but , First step is to evaluate what is important to you and if your life is worth the heart ache. Second consider taking meds till you get over your depression so you don't end up like him ( YOUR BETTER THEM HIM ) at least your willing to get help and want help. Third if he couldn't let you into his personal life then he's not worth it. you don't need someone who brings you down, only lifts you up. Fourth consider counceling. it will help to talk to someone who's qualified to give you the right answers. Fifth and final TAKE CARE OF YOU. your deserve it. weather you find a hobby or pamper yourself do something you like without having anyone hold you back . and trust me your prince charming will come soon enough .
Good Luck hope you take my advice. let me know if you need someone to talk too.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, there really isn't anything anyone can say that will make you feel better about what happened.

What you did for him showed how caring and compassionate you are.

What him and the other girl did to you show how immature they are and how cruel he is.

All you need to do is to keep telling yourself that you don't need an immature man like that in your life and that you did everything right. You also need to keep reminding yourself that you're better than they are.

Answer 3

You don't need an apology in order to forgive someone. It is your choice to forgive him no matter what he says or does. Forgiving him will help you to feel better. You can then begin to let go. My mom use to tell me that I couldn't save the world. Focus more on you and you will be happy. That guy has issues he has to deal with on his own. Don't let yourself get wrapped up in someone else's mess. If you really care about someone and want to help them, send them to a shrink, I'm sure you have your own problems to deal with.

Answer 4

obviously the guy is screwed up, and misery loves company. sometimes people use others to help themselves out. other times they play with you, and take advantage because your sympathetic. i think it was the latter. you were used and now its over. its a learning experience, hopefully you wont fall for it again. maybe its time to look in the mirror tho. u got a problem, probably lack of self esteem. look at how pathetic he is, then dont get that way yourself.. take care

Answer 5

It sounds to me - knowing some people turn resentful toward those who help(ed) them - that he listens to the lies by his child's mother. You did for him what you could and now it's time to take care of yourself. leave them in the past and move on. You deserve better than to tolerate them, then your depression may lessen.

Answer 6

that asshole

you should feel nothing but good for helping him, and then you should drop him like a dead fly for what he did

none of this had to do with you

and who knows, maybe she just wanted attention and he didnt acutually say those things

and youre too good for him if all you do is good and he goes and treats you like that

there's probably another guy right around the counter, waiting for someone, and all you have to do is look.

Answer 7

He was using you to gain his mental stability back. You are too good for him and desire a lot better. As for the apology, let it go and don't contact him again.