marriage problem?

Question

Ive been married for 4 years.she is a realy great person bur she has some qualities I cant live with.we used to have a GREAT sex life. shes 48 and Im 44. she has 2 kids from a previous marriage.they are 13 and 19. she takes all her time with the kids and leaves me out of things. she never wants sex anymore.or course this is my fault because I put a priority on it. I was married to a woman before for 15 years that also hated sex, she was tramautized sexually as a child,. this one has no history of sexual abuse.but sex is the lowest priority for her and I have a normal sex drive for a man my age.I am the one with the most health problems. so I SHOULD be the one that has lost interest in it. she is healthy and says she is happy with me.but she spends abnormal amount of time on the computer. she is night owl. and i am a morning person. which causes some problems.I get so upset at her because she NEVER wants sex anymore. and she wont say a reason why. other than she feels pressured about i

Answer 1

I can only suggest Dr. Laura's books The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands and The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage. I give it up to my husband whenever he wants because I know that men have needs, they are natural needs, and they should be fulfilled. I'm guessing she wasn't like this when you two were dating or else you wouldn't have married her.

Answer 2

If you know your putting pressure on the sex issue then stop, and as we all know that we can really get caught up in everyday life, and you two need to come to a comprise and rebuild your relationship, and I see one problem is the computer thing, what is so interesting that she cant spend alittle time with you before you go to bed, and maybe you wouldnt have to go to bed so early, and Im talking about starting with little things like cuddling on the couch watch a movie, and being more active and helpful in the kids lives will ease up her time in what she has to do for them...which would give her more time for you two.... good luck

Answer 3

I've been married to the same wonderful man for over 35 years. Men who say their wives turn into cold fish seem to forget that when they were first married they "courted" their women. They brought flowers, wine, and little gifts. They helped with the cooking and the dishes and the laundry. They didn't burp or expel gas in front of their wives. Then, as the years go by, all that changes. If you want your sex life back to what it was, take your charm back to what it was. Buy her a sexy negligee, give her a pretty bracelet, and charm her all over again. Get two tickets to a romantic get-a-away and have the 19 year old watch the 13 year old for an overnight. Go away together and re-kindle that romance. Then, sex will come easily IF you aren't the selfish kind with that. Pleasure her first, then yourself. That's my best advice.

Answer 4

funny, me and my hubby had this conversation this morning. he works 2nd shift and i work days, we also have 3 kids which i get up with at 7am and i stay up untill he gets home at 1am. he wants sex everynight sometimes twice. when i get off work he is already gone to work so we are only around each other from 1-7:30am. we were having sex everyother night before i went back to work, now i am physically exhausted and sometimes take a rain check. maybe you should talk to your wife and tell her how you feel, don't make it sound like you give up or i am leaving, tell her you enjoy being with her and brings you closer, sounds dumb but she will appreciate it more than i need it now! maybe set a schedule it truley helps!

Answer 5

Go to a marriage counselor that would be great maybe she would finaly get whats bothering her of her chest. Some women are like that not some alot.Why don't sit her down and talk to her about it.

Jewel T

Answer 6

Go to a marriage counselor.

Many things can cause the things you are experiencing, a marriage counselor can help.

Answer 7

I agree with what sally had to say.... You should take her advise..