Breastfeeding nazis.......?

Question

Does anyone else get really fed up being told how awesome breastfeeding is? I've been breastfeeding for nearly 8 weeks now and after suffering cracked, blistered, bleeding nipples and just now recovering from mastitis I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I do not enjoy breastfeeding one little bit. I have made the decision to wean my daughter onto formula for these reasons and I get really fed up with being made to feel like a bad mother because of it. I also feel uncomfortable with breastfeeding in front of other people. I realise that it is a perfectly natural thing to do and I have no problems with mothers who choose to breastfeed in public - I just don't feel comfortable whipping my breasts out in front of people. Does anybody else feel pressured into breastfeeding or am I really a bad mother for choosing to wean my baby onto formula? Honest answers please!

Answer 1

It's funny, but I stopped breastfeeding my first because my mom kept telling me to stop. I shouldn't have given in the her pressures then, and I breastfed my second for a full year.

That said, everyone is different, and you have to do what is right for you. I know people are telling you to hang in there, but if you really don't want to, then don't. Don't worry yourself about what other people say. Funny enough, my husband kept calling the Breastfeeding nurses at the hospital the "Boob Nazis" because of the way they grab your boob and treated us when we went to their "classes". Good luck.

Answer 2

I don't think you're a bad mother. I think you're a frustrated, worn-out, misled mother in pain with no support.

Breastfeeding can and should be a pain-free, natural way to nourish the baby, while providing a wealth of benefits for both mother and child. But when something goes wrong, as it obviously did in your case, it can quickly get out of hand until it is so bad that the mother may even wonder, "what's the point?!"

Cracked, blistered, bleeding nipples are NOT normal and are a huge, red, waving flag. The good news is that this problem CAN be fixed, IF you are willing. There is no reason in the world why you should have to breastfeed your child in pain. Most likely, there is a latching-on issue. It is possible it could be something more serious, like inverted nipples or tongue tie. But you won't know unless you seek help.immediately.

Lactation consultants can be helpful, but La Leche League is friendly and knowledgeable; they are usually available 24 hours a day and ALWAYS free. Your local LLL leader will probably even be willing to come to your home to help you through this very difficult time you're having right now.

Please don't write off breastfeeding entirely just because you are having a problem with it. Breastfeeding isn't the problem; there is clearly something ELSE that is causing the problem, and I am positive that it CAN be fixed. I understand where you are coming from -- at least I can relate to the pain of mastitis.

Personally, I have no problem with people feeding their babies formula, if they are doing so after being fully educated about their options. But it sounds like you already know that breastfeeding is best, you just don't want to be in pain anymore. I'm only trying to tell you that you CAN breastfeed without pain, if you want to. I hate to see people quit for a lack of support.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Well, first of all, you're not a bad mother. Make the decision that makes you feel happy and comfortable. On the other hand, I too had painful nipples and am very uncomfortable feeding in public. But, I am still breastfeeding my 8 1/2 month old and plan to do so at least a year maybe more. I suffered through the pain. In public, I don't breastfeed, I will go to my vehicle or plan my schedule out in time to make it back home to feed my son. It can be done. It is very hard at times. I continue to breastfeed because research has shown it's healthier. Not that formula babies aren't healthy, but I choose to breastfeed because I feel blessed that God has given me the ability to do that. Okay, just wanted to let you know I'm not a breastfeeding nazi, we're just different. Nothing wrong with that.

Answer 4

Well ... I think breastfeeding is awesome, but I realize it's not for everyone. I don't judge anyone for not breastfeeding ... that is just plain wrong. I think it's wonderful that you tried. Anyone who looks down on you after you obviously tried so hard is a complete idiot.

My daughter is 20 months old and I am still breastfeeding her. I think it's okay for someone to breastfeed in public if they want to, it's their right. But I've found there are always other options. I've been caught out in public at feeding times, and I've always been able to find a nice store employee who lets me use a back room, or any place clean and private to breastfeed.

I've been talking about my second child. I had a child before her that I tried to breastfeed, and I totally failed.

If you decide to try again with another child - get educated first. Most people think since it's "natural" that means it's easy. It'll get easy after a while, but starting out it can be really difficult.

A couple of suggestions based on what you said .... get a tube of Lansinoh and use it religiously. I used it after every feeding until my baby was 6 months old and I never had a cracked or bleeding nipple. And ... until your baby is older you never want to skip a feeding and give a bottle instead. That will cause your breasts to get engorged which can easily cause mastitis. And ... always, always drink lots of water. Some women can get away with procrastinating, but I never could. If I don't drink water constantly my milk supply decreases almost immediately. So the baby nurses longer ... which means once I drink a lot of water to make up for it my breasts get engorged becuase of the extra nursing.

And i'm not saying you have to try again with your next child. Just in case you decide you want to.

I can tell you that once the baby gets older, it gets so much easier. Much easier than giving a bottle, and cheaper. It's really worth it.

Answer 5

I guess I had the exact opposite problem. I decided to breastfeed. I knew the reasons for each way, and I decided to breastfeed because of the data complied. ( I am not judging you, but I will not appologize for being a mom that did it either).
My husband's family did not agree with me at all. His Grandmother, Mom, 2 Aunts and all of the other 7 grandchildren that had kids bottle fed. They made me feel awful for breastfeeding. Now I don't whip my breasts out. I am a shy person by nature. I make sure that everything is covered before doing it. Usually I will do it in the bathroom where I feel more comfortable. But at my husband's Grandmother's there is no room in the house besides the bathroom that has a door. I had to do it in a bedroom where everyone came in to watch. My MIL even took the blanket that I had covering me off so her sisters could see how it looked and then told me how awful it must be and how dumb that it was to breastfeed.
I figure that this is just like working vs. stay at home moms. Everyone has an opinion and feels really strongly about their own opinion.
Just do what feels right. They do say the longer the better, but you did alot by going 2 months. Your baby will be better for it. Now get on with your life and feel good that you did the best you could for your baby. You don't have to appologize for anything.

Answer 6

Do I love breastfeeding all of the time? No
Did it suck in the begining? Yes
Did I feel pressured into breastfeeding? Absolutely not! Not once, not ever.
Did I feel pressured into formula feeding? Yes. I had to dump formula down my son and otherwise dispose of it because they kept insisting I had to "top him up".

They would swaddle my son up to his nose in the special care nursery so he wouldn't spit out the pacifier he obviously didn't want, didn't like, and I didn't want.

I wasn't allowed to breastfeed him for almost 20 hours after birth, and there were no pumps available.

I had to get a nipple shield because the lactation consultant didn't know a nipple from her elbow. And there was only one nurse with a clue and she was only there for four hours.

I don't know how many cans of formula I got in the mail.

Two family members who knew I was breastfeeding gave me bags and bags of bottles.

Only maternity stores sell nursing tops, they sell less than 20, they suck and don't sit right. The staff won't even talk to you unless you have a baby bump.

Nursing bras were slightly less hard to find, but way to expensive.

Breastfeeding is constantly slagged, formula is said to be equal or better. Breastfed babies are said to "need" solids at 6 months, sometimes 4 months because breastmilk doesn't have enough whatever. Usually iron. Which is funny because exclusive breastfeeding for 7 or 8 months (depending on the study) has been shown to reduce the percentage of anemia to 0. Even La Leche League states that around 6 months breastmilk becomes inadequate, these are the champions of breastfeeding and even they think it isn't good enough.

Breastfeeding is said to leave dad out, be more work/harder on mom, etc, etc.

Nobody talks about how formula fed babies suffer frequent constipation. Everytime you hear statements about breastfeeding they are phrased as if breastfeeding is abnormal rather than normal. That breastfeeding prevents ear infections, prevents future obesity, protects from illness, etc, etc. No breastfeeding is NORMAL. Therefore formula feeding INCREASES the risks of ear infections (so does breastmilk in a bottle btw, not as much but it is more the bottle than the formula), increases the risk of obesity, leaves a baby more vulnerable to infection.

Answer 7

I love breastfeeding and am still feeding my 13 month old. I don't think you're a bad mother and I don't think anyone should be pressurised into something they don't want to do. But before you wean your baby consider all the benefits of breastfeeding for your baby and for yourself (ok, so you've probably done this), and also that it can take several months before the pain stops. I wanted to stop so many times in the first few months, but I'd been so determined to breastfeed that I stopped myself giving up.

It helped a lot that I had a few friends who were also breastfeeding as this meant I had people to talk to. (This cancelled out the negative attitudes from family members!) Otherwise there are several helplines/websites that give advice, like LaLeche League, the Association of Breastfeeding Mothers and the NCT, and in many areas there are also breastfeeding groups who can offer tips and advise you on positioning.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Answer 8

I breastfed my son, despite a lack of a support group. Neither my mom, stepmom or any close friends could lend me any support. It was a few online buddies and sheer grit and determination. I WAS GOING to breastfeed my kid, and it hurt for WEEKS.....all that you mentioned happened, but I don't know how long I would have lasted if the pain had lasted 8 full weeks. It was like, one day suddenly nothing hurt anymore. Then with my daughter, I thought it would be a breeze, same situation, this time bleeding and cracked nipples again, I was so dang frustrated.....sheer determination. It was simply the easiest, most convenient way to feed my kids, and I am so glad that I stuck it out, but without good support, it can be very difficult and frustrating, and the pain makes it hard to stick with it. You do what you feel is best, chances are that the baby can feel your frustration, so do what you need to do, this is just the beginning of people telling you you are a bad mother....and if that's not bad enough, then we have our own guilt to deal with on a regular basis! LOL

Answer 9

I don't believe for one moment it makes you a bad mother. A mother in pain, a mother dissatisfied with her breastfeeding experience, a mother who will likely be less stressed using formula, perhaps.

As a mom who breastfed her babies, and have been a breastfeeding educator/counsellor, I'm extremely curious though, to figure out why you're having such issues with the nipple pain & cracking. That is NOT the normal course of breastfeeding. It is unfortunately common, but it means that something, somewhere is not right with the baby's latch, suckle, or positioning. In a few cases, there may be a physical anomoly, such as inverted nipples (mother) or tongue-tie (baby), but usually painful feedings can be solved pretty easily by figuring out exactly where the glitch lies.

If you are willing to give it one more shot, I would encourage you to contact a lactation consultant, a La Leche League leader, or feel free to email me through my profile info.

I know from experience that breastfeeding can be an amazing, wonderful, positive experience, but I've also seen moms who were at the end of their resources and proverbial ropes, who felt that they were able to be much better mothers once the stress of trying to "successfully" breastfeed was gone. I certainly respect your choice to move on to the hope of calmer days, if you wish.

Congrats on your new baby, and best of luck with everything!

~ A breastfeeding Nazi

Answer 10

I went through all that pain too and it was terrible, but I breastfed all 3 of my boys past 6 months. It all goes away eventually and then it doesnt hurt anymore at all. But yeah it takes a while and I can see why you got fed up already with it. . That was my choice though and I completely understand why you would want to use formula instead. Like i said I know the pain. If you can deal with the pain for a bit longer then go for it, if not then its perfectly fine too. No one should judge you for that. I too dont like breastfeeding in public, so I just pumped and used a bottle for that purpose. But no your not a bad mother for that.

Answer 11

Hi, I breastfed my three children and am not here to pressure you in any way - breastfeeding is not for everyone for a whole variety of reasons - if you can and you feel comfortable then great - if you cant or your child just wont latch on or you feel uncomfortable or for whatever reason then dont - a happy mum means a happy baby and if your not happy your child wont be - at the end of the day as long as you are happy with the choice you have made for yourself and and your child then thats the main thing - enjoy your baby you wont get this time again