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Is it hard being a single parent? And if your man left you during pregnacy..Did he ever come back or help out?
I was just wondering how hard it is to be a single parent..My bf left me after 7 years and I am 8 months pregnant. Has anyone ever been in that position? If so, How did it all end up working out or if your in it now..How are you coping with it? How does your heart heal? I am living with the sheer joy of having my child now and I know that we will be okay but I was just looking for some FRIENDLY advice. :)

2007-02-25 12:27:28 · 9 answers · asked by angelsdeath420 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

Whoops, I meant is it hard being a single parent^^^^

2007-02-25 12:34:05 · update #1

9 answers

I think that it would be hard being father and mother to this child but you should devote your life and time for your child. It would be hard seeing that you would have to work as well as find a lot time to be with this child. He should have been there to be the one to be holding you and supporting you throughout your pregnancy because you are the one that would have to be doing things financially when it comes to supporting your household. Whatever you do don't give up on love because for leaving you he is a jerk!
Live your life for yourself and your child because now this is all that matters a lot of people have gone through the single parent drammer and I hope that I wouldn't but I have basically part time went through this with my father always away on business until recently he retired and is at home now with my mom. Look there are things in life that we never look out for but I am going to tell you this bringing a child into the world is the best thing could ever happen to a woman and you now feel like a woman.
I haven't had the opportunity yet but hope to and there might be a fact that I wouldn't be able to but I good luck and hope that evreything works out!

2007-02-25 12:58:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

Oh I am so sorry to hear that. Well I must say from experience that is very hard and frustrating being a single parent but you must learn to do everything on your own. Do not depend on the other parent because you just never know how long they will decide to stick around. As for your boyfriend, you know him better than I do and so only you can know if he will come back. Children keep some men far away while it may bring out the fatherhood in others. I work for Child Support and see it everyday. He is there the minute the child is born but after the first month or so they are gone and don't come back. Coping with the break-up is hard. I have three kids by the same man. He was with me for the first two and I was pregnant with the third when he left me for a girl that was supposed to be my "friend". No he never came back, He married her and they had two kids that he cherishes. He never looked back at mine. My first born died in July 2005 and he didn't even show good faith for that. He showed up at the viewing for 15 minutes and started a riot. After he left the house I thought I wasn't going to never date again. It took me two years to get over him and start dating again. I still do not give myself completely to no man because of how he hurt me. Your heart heals when you allow it to. Seven years is a long time and it may take you a long time to get over him. I hope that everything works out for you and your child. I hope he is man enough to support his child. Good luck sweetie!

2007-02-25 12:39:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1 1

Well, i cant tell u how things worked out, as i am still pregnant too. My situation is a little different, i left, but only after he got ticked off at me and shot up the house with a shotgun. I guess u could say he forced me to leave.
I have had very little contact with him, and when we do, its bitter. He is cruel and says mean things, i guess in an attempt to justify and place blame on me. I did nothing.
I am like u, at 7 1/2 months, i live for my son. I try to keep my head up, and just let it be what it will be.
I repeat the Serenity prayer although i am not religious.

"God grant me the Serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
the Strength to change the things i can,
and the Wisdom to know the difference."

Makes sense dont it? There simply isnt anything u can do. Just sit back, and let things be what they will. I am scared too, but we are not the only mommy's who have had to face this. My mom did it with 2 kids. I was 2 months old, and my brother was 5. We can do it girl.
Just keep your head up, and eat right and do what u need for that gift you are carrying. Everything else is insignificant at the moment. If he wants to be a family, he will let u know. If not, then u do what u gotta do, get child support and when ur ready, allow a true gentleman enter your heart and your babies life as well.
Good luck to u. Congrats.
Ever wanna chat......just message me. We can do it together.

2007-02-25 12:41:49 · answer #3 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 1 1

I really feel bad for the women that have to go through pregnancy alone and being a single mom is not fun and it is very hard. My last pregnancy was lonely and the father took off almost as soon as he found out i was pregnant and no he never came back in my life. He ran off like a scared chicken and is not involved in her life at all. He is a dead beat dad and he has never even seen her. He knows about her though he just chooses not to see her. I now have a great husband though who is her daddy and he loves her as his own and my daughter loves him the same way. There is something i once heard said and it goes like this. It does not take much of a man to make a baby in one night under the hot sheets and father the baby BUT it takes everything to step up and be a real man and a daddy! It takes time for your heart to heal and for you to move on from the pain of this BUT someday you will find someone who will love you for you and maybe even want to be a daddy to your little child. Here comes lots of hugs your way and my heart goes out to you today. Give your precious and beautiful child a hug for me!

2007-02-25 13:30:16 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0 1

MY EX-HUSBAND LEFT ME WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS 2 MONTHS OLD, WE HAD A BRAND NEW HOUSE, AND HE TOOK ALL OF THE MONEY. I AM CURRENTLY WORKING FULL TIME AND GOING TO SCHOOL FULL TIME, THERE ARE TIMES I WANT TO CRY WITH FRUSTERATION, AND SHEER EXHAUSTION. BUT IT IS ALL WORTHWHILE WHEN I GO PICK HER UP AND SEE THAT THIS LITTLE PERSON LOVES ME MORE THEN ANYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD, AND I FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT HER. HER FATHER HASNT SEEN HER IN 19 MONTHS AND HAS NOT PAID A DIME IN CHILD SUPPORT. SHE WILL BE 2 IN LESS THEN A WEEK, AND I WOULD NOT HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY, EXHAUSTION INCLUDED!! AT FIRST I CRIED WHEN SHE LEARNED SOMETHING NEW, BECAUSE I THOUGHT, HOW CAN HE BE MISSING THIS?! HER FIRST TOOTH, SITTING UP, CRAWLING, WALKING, EVERYTHING. NOW I LIVE TO WATCH HER LEARN SOMETHING NEW, GOD, SHE FINALLY LEARNED THE WORD "NO" LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH. LOL. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR BABY, AND JUST LIVE EVERY DAY FOR THAT BABY, DONT TROUBLE YOURSELF WITH THE ASSHOLE. YOU BECOME A STRONGER PERSON WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR CHILD, GOOD LUCK GIRL!!!!

2007-02-25 14:15:26 · answer #5 · answered by MARY M 3 · 0 1

raised two children from the ages of 5 and 2 as a single parent; it's hard but I wouldn't have traded one minute of it!


I need to add, they are now 21 and 18; both girls, both graduated from high school; neither on drugs, neither pregnant! I consider myself a success!! Oh and both currently getting college educations......

2007-02-25 12:30:41 · answer #6 · answered by abc 7 · 1 0

My ex-husband cheated on me while I was pregnant and then wanted sex with me as I lay there puking my guts out with morning sickness and he had just returned from being with this other woman. We divorced 19 years later, but I was a single parent of two kids (now age 8 & 17) for a year before I met my fiance. It's difficult to be a single parent. When you are with a guy who isn't a very supportive parent to begin with, it is like being single. Parenting is hard, whether you have someone to help you parent or not. It is surely more of a challenge to be a single parent, but on the plus side, you can parent the way you feel is best without worrying about whether or not you can agree with the ways the father of your baby would parent. You have the freedom to raise your child the way you see fit.

There are so many resources out there for single parents. You can get emotional support and all sorts of resources from various churches, community services, even singles groups. While you are pregnant still, try to find someone who will be there for support to you and will help you out in the beginning. You will be exhausted while trying to recover from giving birth & taking care of a demanding newborn at the same time. Okay, I told it like it is. That doesn't mean it can't be done and that you won't be okay. You will be more than okay. Once you get used to your little baby and how to meet his/her needs, you will get yourself a routine that works for you. Trust your instincts, but accept help if it is offered. If a well-meaning person offers advice that you don't agree with, to avoid having to defend your views, you can always say that you prefer to check with your pediatrician before doing things. This will let the person know that you are using common sense by consulting a doctor, but will also let them know that just because they offered advice does not mean you need to take it.

You will be okay. As bwgood2003 above me said, it's difficult, but also the most rewarding experience of your life. My son currently gives me gray hairs (Revlon haircolor kit at WalMart for $2.97 works wonders!). He is a teenager - need I say more? Still, I wouldn't trade him or my 8-year-old daughter for anything or anyone in this entire world. They are both well worth it. If your boyfriend was foolish enough to do this to you, then that is his loss. You are better off without him. Do seek legal aid ASAP though. Because he abandoned his responsibility as the father, you are entitled to receive child support which can help you get by. Babies are expensive in the beginning (diapers alone are expensive) and you will benefit from child support. Most courthouses have a family law department which can give you instructions on how to fill out forms at no or low cost and can refer you to a free or low-cost family law attorney who can help you be protected. Sounds harsh, but your boyfriend has a responsibility and it is unfair that he expects you to shoulder it all by yourself. Hang in there. You will be okay. It's scary at first, but you really will be fine. God Bless!

2007-02-25 12:52:15 · answer #7 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0 1

Hes a winner !!! youll be fine he dosent deserve you or child move on the next man you meet will knock you off your feet watch. NO WORRIES

2007-02-25 12:36:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

yes, it is hard being a single parent, fortunately things have worked out for the better with me

2007-02-25 13:18:14 · answer #9 · answered by zether 6 · 0 1

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