volunteering / meeting new friends im married?

Question

Good evening to you all , i am a retired person at 57 but i do work still at 2- 3 part time jobs i lioke kepeing busy
but to get to the question i volunteer a lot in different places , including a lot of the entertainment industry mainly ushering for concerts , palys etc
my wife wont volunteer for anything she thinks its stupid or pointless she wants to get paid if she did this , and as far as im concerned its not an retired persons thing ( volunteering ) lots of people do thiis working full time or not , and all ages also
ive made alot of friends since ive done this and mainly women , and at times i have gone with them for movies , dinner etc just as a platonic thing
they all know im mariied and have no problem with me or being friends with just me & not my wife also especially if she is puttinng down volunteering
should i have to give up what i lke to stay at home with my wife ??

Answer 1

Ask her to please take a volunteer vacation with you for a week or two. It will change her. Hope you pick Mississippi but you can go anywhere in the world. The link below coordinates volunteers for disaster recovery worldwide. Bless you both.

Answer 2

If the wife knows and doesn't care and the ladies that are friends know and understand the boundaries I don't see the big deal. I am in my mid 50's and I think men and women can be friends at this age when the hormones have not gone away mind you but definitely have simmered down.

However, I think too much time spent entertaining others without your wife is not a good idea. The questions you may want to ask yourself are these:

1. Could you do what you are doing away from your wife in front of your wife? In other words, would your wife approve of every single action that you take with these ladies while you are with them? That would include putting on their coat to whispering something in their ear at a loud concert.

2. Are you making it very clear to these ladies that you will not cheat on your wife in any way?

3. Do you suspect that any of these ladies would be hurt, even slightly, if your wife decided to come along at the last minute? Sometimes crushes develop that can hurt either or both of the parties.

4. Do you spend at least twice as much entertainment time with your wife as you do these other ladies as a whole? If not, something is rotten in Denmark.

You and your wife may need to sit down and discuss what is going on. Is it just that you are not liking the same things anymore or are you growing apart?

Answer 3

Personally I think true love is an extremely rare thing. That is why so many people go from infatuation to infatuation and so many people give up and settle. I thought alot of myself at 25 too. At 45, still have my hair, in great shape, my own business, money in the bank, house in a trendy neighborhood, no kids, all the toys, never married and my self esteem is in the toilet. I see my not physically attractive, bankrupt, loser, deadbeat dad friends use women like kleenex and have women way out of their league standing in line while I rarely even date any more. For me all the good ones seem taken and the decent single ones all seem to come with lots of baggage. (kids from their first marriage with a guy they didn't really love but wanted to hurry and get married and have kids before it was too late) Don't settle. If what you have been doing isn't working. Stop that and go do something else. Go where the kind of guy you would want to marry would go, and then just be beautiful and approachable. Sorry, from the male perspective it seems so easy for beautiful women (or even ugly ones with bad personalities).

Answer 4

No, it is fabulous that you are volunteering. I formed a band to get out with a different bunch of people and volunteer for Habitat. Life is all about the adventure. You won't be happy if you just sit at home. You can't change your wife and you can't change you. Just be open and let each other know what is importnat. If someone wants to contrl the other then that is a problem. Keep on brother man!

Answer 5

No, you don't have to give up volenteering and meeting new people. Maybe cut back on some of it if your wife feels left out, which part of her putting down your activities could be deep down. There is nothing wrong with volenteering and meeting new people. You are loyal to her but like to help others. If it bugs her talk to her about it, ask her if she wants to try some time on something that she likes. Say she likes animals, walk dogs for a pound one afternoon with her. No need for worries though.

Answer 6

Retired at 57? Boy am I jealous.
I think your wife is being "pointless".
The invitation is always there for her to join you.
Go for it.
Lack of pay is not a good reason not to get out.
The saying is " The mind is a terrible thing to waste".
Inactivity and TV is a waste of a mind and body.

Shame on her and keep it up.
Use it or lose it.

Answer 7

if you enjoy volunteering you should not have to give it up. try talking to your wife and tell her the benefits of being a volunteer, maybe she can find something that she is interested in. let her know people are really friendly and nice. as long as your wife knows where you are and who you're with and trust you, i don't see a problem.

Answer 8

Do your thang, brother.

Answer 9

no