depending on others approval of you to make you feel happy? How can a person stop doing this? and become independent and self-fulfilling, and gratifying?
2007-02-25 11:29:21 · 11 answers · asked by LON 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
I never do that.
For example,I am in love with a crossdresser,and I could not care less if others disapprove!
2007-02-25 11:33:26 · answer #1 · answered by MaryBeth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too much following and not enough leading here I think. The way to stop doing this is to think to yourself not 'do they approve' but 'do I approve'. For instance, if you are worried that someone will not approve of your choice of clothes then instead ask yourself whether you approve of bias against certain types of clothes. I think you'll quickly realise that in point of fact you do not approve of prejudiced, biased and intolerant people. That being the case you will no longer want their approval. Quite often over the years someone has disgreed with my choice and my answer has been that frankly if I thought they agreed I would be worried.
2007-02-25 11:51:40 · answer #2 · answered by DIANNE M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to 'reprogramme' yourself not to govern your behaviour on what other people think. It is impossible to know what people think of you. You have to let yourself believe that it does not matter what people think of you. Not everyone is a good judge. Peoples' opinions vary. There will always be someone who likes you and someone who doesn't. We can't like everyone all of the time. Same as you can't please everyone all of the time. When we strive to be liked, or if we live our lives searching for others approval; then we are doomed for faliure. We have to learn to be confident and have a positive outlook on life. Our glass is half full not half empty. Psychology is a powerful tool in order to help us to take not of the in the way in which we view life. Do not have great expectations. Take each day as it comes. Smile and be approachable. Take the time to listen to people, even if they bore you. And above all, live by the rule that states: 'The people that matter don't mind, and the people that mind don't matter! I wish you all the best! :o)
2007-02-25 17:28:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think everyone looks to others for approval once in a while, but to become truly independent and self - fulfilling - you must believe in yourself!
2007-02-25 11:41:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is an insidious thing and many of us suffer from it. It takes courage and bravery to walk the line between being polite and considerate to others and being yourself.
When I came out as bi sexual I felt that it was about time to be courageous, stop hiding the fact that I was sleeping with women. Hiding it meant that I was living a lie - trying to please all those around me. Having a boyfriend and yet sleeping with women. Once I came out, it was great.
Good luck if you are having struggle with being yourself - good luck. It is a lifelong struggle.
2007-02-25 13:32:21 · answer #5 · answered by Ella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ever behave in a way to satisfy others always behave as you wish to to make you happy. Its hard to change your ways and become YOU but you need to do it in small steps starting with basic daily things that you may allow others to influence such as where you get lunch from if everyone is going to ASDA and you don't want to you want to go to Tesco then go, small steps will help you to develop the confidence you need to change the bigger things
2007-02-27 00:54:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tune out what other people think and you will be sooooooo much happier,
try meditation,
and dont go out of your way to do what you think other people approve of,
i still do it sometimes and have to stop myself, but its a process and takes time.
one time something terribbly embarrassing happened to me and then i realized no one was paying attention or cared cause they were so wrapped up in themselves and concerned what everyone thought about them.
ask yourself what you like to do honestly, not just the hyped up 'what your supposed to like' crap. if you had 30 days to live what kind of person would you want to be and what would you want to accomplish?
confidence is key, people look up to independent people who laugh things off and dont cave in to pressure and nasty comments etc. just ignore them and people will realize that their standards do not apply to you, you are a free spirit, untouchable
2007-02-25 11:55:04 · answer #7 · answered by JulyBeetle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no way to completely stop. living your life for your self and not for others is a everyday battle that we all face. we are in a world of judgment, we are the minority if we do not conform.
2007-02-25 12:02:54 · answer #8 · answered by sid_donut 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So long as you are not doing anything legally or morally wrong, live your life the way you want to and enjoy it. Be true unto yourself.
2007-02-25 11:36:07 · answer #9 · answered by Alwyn C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't give a damn what others think of me. some people love me for it, some people hate me for it. but i doubt if it will ever find me love :(
oh well. i agree with the last bit :0
2007-03-01 02:38:07 · answer #10 · answered by claire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋