Any thoughts on this?

Question

If a guy told you he had made his decision and he didn't want to be with you all he wanted was to make his own decisions alone at the moment but he hadn't been with anyone else and never going to be!! What would you think & say you've been down twice to see him and he is always happy to c you and asks what you have been up to & you tell him you went to a 50th the other night and he asks who was there and you tell him and he keeps asking you who else, he shows an interest in what you have been doing e.g I am doing a course and is interested in my results and when he looked at them it bought tears to his eyes. His sister says to you just let him be for a while till he gets himself sorted and if he wants you he will come and get you but he has a lot on at the moment (business decisions). He is 25 and we were together for 3 & a half years. Went to c him the other night and said you can stay here if you like. He is quite happy for me to go in and make myself at home when hes not

there and does not care who sees me there. He works from 5.30am till maybe 10 at night and he knows how much I care and everytime I am there he says he has not been with anyone else and never going to be and that he just needs to make decisions on his own. He has not asked me to move the rest of my stuff out. He is a country boy & thinks we should just leave at least a year becoz he thinks we shouldn't rush back into it?
Does anyone think that he maybe has pressure from his parents as he always smiles if I go to c him and some people have said they think he will come around. His best friend said that he told them I was going down to stay and his best friend said you two will sort through things. So I don't know. Any ideas would be much appreciated.

I have asked if he is just trying to let me down gently he says no that he just needs time on his own. Has anyone else gone through this?

I care about him sooooo much and i just hope he isn't with anyone else. I think if he was he wouldn't have kept photos and a poem and things i have given him since we broke up if he really didn't have any intention of taking me back would he?

Answer 1

If you are going to stay at his place and he doesn't care who sees you there then you can rule out that he is seeing someone else.

He is just stressed and maybe he doesn't know which direction in his life to take. Don't stress him into making any decisions just let him have the time that he needs to sort things out. If everyone keeps saying that you two will sort things out then that is a good sign that things look good for the two of you.

Good Luck and I hope everything turns out good for you.

Answer 2

Hes just not ready for a serious relationship at this time I mean yeah you 2 have been 2gether 4 3.5 yrs but I dont think its actually sunk in yet that you two have been together for that long to him and some reason its just starting to sink in and he really cares about you and doesnt want 2 lose you so the best thing he feels will save what you two have is to just have alittle space I think thats what hes asking is for space just for him and if u love him youd give to him. I mean he just needs to find out where he wants to go really and he wants to make sure that its with you. And the only way he can do that is if he tries alittle on his own and then he'll see how much of a difference you really do make in his life. So really what Im trying say is.... just go with the flow and see what happens cause obviously he isnt shutting u out of his life like i said b4 its all about where he wants to be... whether its with you or not.... and him being occupied with things business etc hes gonna realise that.... I do need her as well love her.
I think thats what hes doing so give him time cause i know you will cause you love him that much, you wont be disappointed.

Cause whether or not you 2 end up together at least you'd know finally where you two stand with each other.

I hope that helped...

Answer 3

Time is the healer to all wounds and sometimes people can create their own problems...he's probably going through something beyond the relationship--maybe its too stressful to have the both right now and he feels he cannot fully commit.

I've had this encounter, where I wanted time instead of someone trying to rush me into a decision, this is life and once your in it its complicated to leave on mediocre terms.

Give him his time, because when the smoke clears he might feel the same way. I gurantee you though its not you, its something going on that he isn't talking about possibly an insecurity issue talk to him about it and let him know how you feel.

Offer to give him his space and that you will do whatever you can to make things easy for him...take it all slow.

Answer 4

If time is what he tells you he needs, respect that, but just let him know that you are there for him. If you keep pushing, things could be worse. Just listen and be there as best you can. I have not gone through this before.