My Ex wont pay up for his kids.....?

Question

Ive been split up from my husband for nearly 3 years.....he pays me £30 per week ( not regulary) I want him to pay more my kids are 10 and 12 and its becoming more expensive as they get older...he refuses to pay more even though he live with his girlfriend and they both work full time. The CSA seem like my only option but it will cause tensions with the kids....and make him resent them....what should i do ? ( i also work full time but i am single)

Answer 1

Hello Lisa,
This ex of yours sounds like a right tasty geezer! and the Child Support Agency, are hungry for characters just like him, so go ahead honey, stick him on their menu, they will soon sort him out, and spit out the bones too. You are taking care of the children, and he has to support you in that chore no matter what. So it's no use you struggling, and him getting richer with his new toy, I bet he is eating well, and in nice fresh bedding, with all the luxuries of not having his lovemaking disturbed by children running all over the house spoiling his efforts to entertain his new toy in a different bed than the one you both shared 3 years ago, trying to prove to her that he is the best thing she ever had in her, in her life...
You just cannot make 2 growing children satisfied with the quality of life they are having now, on the occasional £30 a week.Tensions will have to be coped with for a while until the kids see that their lives are becoming more comfortable when your ex begins to pay more, even though the C.S.A. can and will force those payments from his wages/ salary, and if he starts to get very angry, you have a police force that will ease the problem of his temper or his spiteful tantrums, and you also have the courts on your side too. The courts might not show it, but the principle is the same, they are on your side as they don't want to see you suffering because your ex is now very happy not to be near you any more, but be WARNED... if you take another Partner/Husband, all this is for nothing, and you will be on your own, bide your time, you will probably one day find a proper love again, and be happy again, but remember this... more haste~~ less speed. .... Good luck honey, and I hope you make it, and this, not from a spiteful abused woman, but a happily married man with 42 happy anniversaries behind him.....xXx..Tony M

Answer 2

i totally sympathise as i have an ex just the same..after 8 years of sporadic maintenence i got the csa involved and the nightmare really did begin. just a cautionary tale, that idiots like your ex will do anything to get out of paying, i dont know what his work is but my ex lied to csa about his salary(he has his own business) and he now thinks he's very clever as he only pays 18 quid a week, also there was a 3 month delay before i got any money at all from them.
to be honest i wish id never bothered as he whinged to the kids that id reported him to the csa, he told them he was a good dad as he pays 78 a month (this is him saying to kids) and they all had a big row and he hasnt seen them or called in almost 3 months. just be warned that the csa is not all its cracked up to be and their are many out there for who it has totally failed. good luck, its a very tough situation.

Answer 3

Sounds like you should go the CSA route. As it stands, €30pw is very little towards the upkeep of two children. I'm not sure why it should cause tension with the kids. They're too young to be hearing about adult matters, and if your husband chooses to sulk about being made to take responsibility, that's another story. If he resorts to emotional blackmail and withdrawing from his children, then my guess is it would happen in any case.

Good luck.

Answer 4

HI You don't mention what their income is??? He should pay up for yhem but maybe that is all they can afford at the moment?? If worried about tension CSA NOT the answer as will affect all of you... You hear about deadbeat dads all the time if you can talk to him to try to sot out whether it financial or personal reasons can't pay mor... If financial then try to compromise for the kids sake.. My EX has got CSA involved yet i would pay less than do at moment have tried to sort it out but she refuses to budge doesn't work ETC FOr all your sakes I hope yout sort it XXX Does he see he kids

Answer 5

i would say go to the csa. my best friend is having problems to with her EX. she got in touch with the csa and now they are going to take it out of his wages cos he wont pay anymore then £30 a week. the csa said that £30 a week is not enough for two kids.

Answer 6

Contact the CSA

Answer 7

let him go to hell. take nothing from him £3o once in a while is nothing so do without it. he will regret not looking after his kids interests in the long run he is obviously a loser, he should want to provide for his children, he doesnt so let him see u dont need his pathetic handouts and let ur kids see that its mum whi gives them all they have. failing that set up bank accounts for ur kids and give him the books, it wont help u now but at least he will be putting money away for their future. tell him he can put whatever he can afford in and let him know thw kids are excited about having money put away for when they grow up. he really ought to be doing something. what a brut! lucky u got away eh?

Answer 8

go to the CSA and don't worry about the tension, if it causes him tension then so be it, but he should still understand that he needs to step up to the plate and take responsibility

Answer 9

State agencies are understaffed, in need of money, and have a problematical time monitoring the self-employed. They flow after the employed -- greater bang for his or her dollars & time. hire an criminal expert. What have you ever been waiting for all this time? could desire to have accomplished it years in the past. give up permitting this nonsense to proceed! hire an criminal expert, take him to court docket. he will could desire to exhibit all his earnings and supplies, alongside with those he places in somebody else's call. Get a court docket order to attach his earnings, financial employer account, organisation financial employer account, and so on. Get going! at an analogous time as you're at it, be sure you get criminal costs & sequence costs and up the month-to-month quantity to account for will improve interior the charges of nutrients, scientific care, and so on, over the intervening years. $3 hundred/month is a pittance. reckoning on the place you reside and costs there, $3 hundred/week for 3 young little ones ($a hundred/wk/youngster)makes greater experience.

Answer 10

First of all what his g/f does has nothing to do with his responsibilities. The most you can hope for is for him to file taxes to get some of your monies, and if not, do what you need to for your kids, forget how he would feel. Explain to them that you need financial help and that if he began treating them differently, to let you know. That would be the time to keep them away from him all together for their best state of mind and healthy growing factor.