is this a good poem?

Question

my teacher told us to right a poem dipicting the most stong and over welming emotion thats we ever edured. i chose pain, tell me if this is at least a passing grade to turn in.i cant turn in anything below a c+ if i wanna get to 7th grade.

i've been torn down for so long
tought that all my answers are wrong
striving to find solid ground
people steady tearing me down
tried my hardest, but it didnt matter
under pressure from pain
watch me scatter
my head head held low
figured hell is the only place for me to go
pain is what had me for so long
thats the only reason i'm not strong

Answer 1

Omgsh, thats amazing! I couldn't have wrote i better myself, but the thing is would you teacher get mad if you said the word hell? Other than that its freaking amazing!

Answer 2

It's ok you need something to rhyme with pain(6th line down)
needs work looks like a rouph draft but it looks like maybe a B.
a little depressing and seems more like sadness then pain unless you're thinking emotional pain.

Answer 3

I'm not into the whole "tortured soul" thing but you've got a good start. I would revise it a few times to make it its best before you turn it in.

Answer 4

It's very sad, I hope it doesn't really reflect your life. But if it does then sorry you feel that way and you shouldn't hold your head down and be strong. But it's a good poem....

Answer 5

yo thats great!i liked your rap 2 but it needs 2 be a little mo positive keep at what u doin and u can get big time like ME(:

Answer 6

It doesn't have to ryme, I guess it's ok but I thought pain made you stronger.

Answer 7

yh its good