Constructive criticism please :)?

Question

Here is my poem:

Alone

I sit in the dark
Wait for the end
Squeeze the teddy bear tightly
My only friend

I wanna dissolve
Into the black sky
I scream and scream
But nobody hears my cries

What happens when your world
Is completely torn apart
All that's left of you
Is a shredded up heart

What do you do
When you've nowhere left to run
I fall to my knees
Pray that soon it'll be done

I see the silver
The word flashes through my mind
I can leave right now
Leave everything behind

I cannot do it
I can't make my life end
If only you fakes has given me
A true friend

You didn't see I was hurt
And I needed you bad
All absorbed in yourself
And you were all I had

My insides are screaming
I need to get out
I need to get out
I need to get out

Let me out! Let me out
My beaten soul cries
Just a little love please
It whispers as it dies



Tell me whattcha think!

Answer 1

It's emotional, well written and very dark. I like it alot, but you have one tense problem. 'If only you fakes has given me' should be 'If only you fakes had given me' Not a big deal, just a small editing note. I'd love to see this published. Perhaps if you have enough of them you could try to get an anthology published. I'd pay for a book of poetry this good.
Keep writing. You really have talent.

Answer 2

It really gets the emotions across to the reader. If you can write and evoke a response in the reader, you are definately showing talent. Keep it up...

Answer 3

Wow. This is a great poem. It evokes so much emotion. Very moving. Well written. 10/10. If I were you, I'd try to get it published.

Answer 4

Sad, but surely not bad -- keep writin

Answer 5

that rocks!!!! don't change anything! it's deep and depressing, just how i like poems. you should try to get it published.