How do I tell her?

Question

I ordered a pizza yesterday, which for me and my kids, is a momentous occasion, as the money for that kind of thing is often non-existent. My friend/neighbor stopped by like 2 minutes after the delivery guy left (coincidence?) to tell me about her new car. As I was peeking out the window to get a glimpse of her new ride, she asked if she could have a slice. I said "sure", not thinking anything of it. I have a 4 and 5 yr old, both boys, that have a very healthy appetite for pizza, so they were already digging in themselves. I came back in the room and was surprised to see only a few pieces left. My sons had only had one each on their plates. She had even thrown her crusts back in the box!!! I think she is a great person, always doing favors for me, bringing me things. She usually goes through my cabinets and fridge, which doesn't bother me all that much, but this was particularly unnerving to me. How do I tell her, without sounding like a total *****, to back off the food??!

Answer 1

This is pretty creepy. So you're cool with this friend going thru your house. Creepy, both of you. And if you were gone long enough that she scarfed down that much, you were gone too long. You did say they were your kids, not hers? So, all that "I don't understand about boundaries" stuff aside, what to do?
What is the price of friendship? If she does you favors and brings you "things" (I'm starting to get creeped out again...) then you have to decide if a couple of slices of pizza is worth losing that. Sounds like you owe her. But perhaps she owes you. A healthy friendship requires balance between what you give and what you get. Sounds like she is presuming a huge degree of familiarity - and they say familarity breeds contempt. Next time don't offer her any. You may also want to find out if she is having trouble getting enough to eat...Remember, you are a parent as well as a friend. The boundaries you've established do NOT sound like the best to be teaching you sons. Should they act that way at their friends houses? You should know that they will learn the most about life from what you do and how you live, not from what you say. So if you decide to set some (better) boundaries you'll have to make the first step. Next time she's going thru your cabinets ask her what you can get for her. You'll have to supervise her, over her shoulder, until she gets the hint or if she just doesn't get it you'll have to take it up a notch and tell her that you've been having trouble keeping track of what you need to buy and so would prefer that she not move stuff around or take stff without asking.

Answer 2

It sounds as though she is clueless so it looks as though she needs to be told in some way.
Start off by saying that you really like her and consider her a friend but that it upset you because she ate so many pieces of the pizza. Further explain that it upset you because that is a real treat for you and your kids because it is seldom that you can afford it. Finish up by saying that you feel the two of you are close enough friends that you could say something to her about this without upsetting her and that she would understand.
If she gets angry, so be it. She will get over it.
The thing I can't understand is why is she going through your cabinets and refridgerator if she can afford a new car?

Answer 3

It sounds like she's getting on your nerves. I don't blame you. Although you say your friend is a great person, she sounds really inconsiderate to me. If she knows you as well as you think she does, how could she NOT know this was a special occasion? I can't imagine why she would eat your kids dinner. It's so inconsiderate.
If the majority of your friendship is good, let this slide. She sounds clueless so she probably won't get it anyway. Enjoy the friendship for what it is.

Answer 4

It sounds like she's getting on your nerves. I don't blame you. Although you say your friend is a great person, she sounds really inconsiderate to me. If she knows you as well as you think she does, how could she NOT know this was a special occasion? I can't imagine why she would eat your kids dinner. It's so inconsiderate.
If the majority of your friendship is good, let this slide. She sounds clueless so she probably won't get it anyway. Enjoy the friendship for what it is.

Answer 5

Next time you order pizza or whatever ask if she could come back after your family has dinner. You could also tell her if she asks for pizza again that your sorry, but you only have enough to feed the kids and yourself. Let her know your running low on cash and maybe next time you guys could pitch in on pizza.

Answer 6

What I find works is to compliment her, then say it nicely. For example:

You've helped me out a lot and we're really close friends and I'd love to share my pizza with you, it's just that we rarely buy pizza and my kids didn't get enough, so next time could you take less, so that there is enough for everyone? Thanks.

Answer 7

tell her like this

''i know were good friends and all but i was thinking if you can please stop going through my food because im trying to save some of my money for personal things and i just cant afford buying food so many times[[my children eat alot]]thanx''

i would just say back up homie!!

lol

Answer 8

hi well not to sound mean but can you please stop eating my food beacuse my children need to eat and it saves me time and money if you stop eating all my food thank you and you can eat a little of food if you ask me ......................(you should say that)

Answer 9

sneeze on whatever food you want.
tell her you'll place a bet.
rock-paper- scissors the food.

Answer 10

tell her you lick the pizza.