This morning I found out that he spent the night in my house with her, I found him hiding in her closet this morning and didn't have a word to say to him.... What should I do? I've know him since he was 5 years old. Should I forbid my daughter from seeing him? She is very upset and crying all day.. WHAT Should I DO??
2007-02-25 08:55:29 · 14 answers · asked by FUSIONMASTER 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ok...Im not a parent...but I do have some advice for you...if you forbid her from seeing him...she will most likely resent you for it, and do it anyway.
The right thing to do would be invite him over for dinner, and talk to them. Let them know you were young once too...and you know that its nice to sleep next to your partner...but that it is disrespectful to you to do that behind your back in your home. Ask them not to do that again, and make sure that they realize that you are not mad...but you will not be nearly as understanding or forgiving next time.
If you think they are sexually active...you should probably have your daughter put on birth control, and maybe talk to them about the importance of using protection. Try not to be the parent in this whole conversation as much as an understanding, older friend that makes some rules. This will go over much better in this situation
2007-02-25 09:02:44 · answer #1 · answered by xtaticlyme 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have a talk with him and your daughter. Tell them that you greatly disapprove of him spending the night at your house without your permission. Tell them the worse part was finding out that they were trying to hide it from you. Let them know that what they did was totally unacceptable but you are not mean enough to make them stop seeing each other. Let them know that they can only see each other with you in the house or at a location where you know they can't do anything bad. Emphasize the fact that if you catch them sneaking around again, there will be NO more chances. Good luck! =)
2007-02-25 17:10:10 · answer #2 · answered by Lonely Love 06 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, every time I hear about that happening...It makes me shudder, remember what you were like at age 17. Besides, in a lot of places the two could get married without your permission. I think most people should not be surprised if their teens are sexually active, or wanting to spend the night with each other. Sex and love are just a part of life. If they have been seeing each other for over a year, they really like being around each other. Why don't you take the moderate view and talk to them honestly? Or give them make out time in her room where she feels safe. I do not think that is too permissive.
2007-02-25 17:18:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
u shouldnt forbid him from seeing ur daughter because its already done when u found him in her room but what u should do is talk to him and her at the same time and lay down some rules, u can come over and see her in ur house all u want but when it comes to spending the night he cant and not in her room or anywhere in the house and if that rule and other rules cany be met then keep him out of ur house good luck
2007-02-25 17:02:56 · answer #4 · answered by LifesJourney 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, is your problem with them having sex, or having sex in your house? This is an important distinction.
If your problem is with them having sex, well, that horse is somewhat out of the barn already. I think someone has given similar advice already, but here it is: at least take her aside and make sure that it was her choice (he didn't pressure her) and that they took appropriate precautions. Maybe even talk about it while driving somewhere in the car or something, because really, if you corner her in her bedroom and sit across from her, it's going to come across as really confrontational. Not what you want.
You've known the kid since he was five years old, you also know his parents. Talk to one of them (choose the one more likely to be levelheaded about this) and just express your concern about protection, etc. They'll get the message and talk to him.
Now, if your problem is them not having sex in your house, well, my father caught one of my sisters with her boyfriend, and his comment on the subject was, "This is my house. Outside my house, you can do what you want. In my house, I expect you to respect me and my house."
2007-02-25 17:37:51 · answer #5 · answered by JohnD 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should forbid them from seeing in other but I would have a sit down talk with them both with his parents present as well. Let them know you do not allow this in your home and if you do catch it again then the consequence will be she will have to break up with him.
Good for you for being a plugged in parent!
2007-02-25 17:03:32 · answer #6 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You tell her that you want to know the truth about what happened, and you want to know if they did have sex, if they did they atleast use protection? The basic thing is that she is safe and was safe. If you ban her from seeing him then she will want to see him even more just because that is how teenagers are. You need to see her point of view, maybe ground her from a car or to her room, and let her know that there will be no more sleep overs
2007-02-25 17:00:37 · answer #7 · answered by Jillie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your daughter and then talk to the both of them. They are 17. Be frank about what you expect and lay some ground rules. What's done is done but you need to level with them about what you expect from now on.
2007-02-25 17:27:57 · answer #8 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a 17 year girl also, and if you forbid her to see him she will more than likely go behind your back and see him. Just set boundries with clear punishments and stick to your guns. Best of luck to you!
2007-02-25 17:05:04 · answer #9 · answered by a27griese 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont forbid your daughter from seeing him, she will still see him and she'll be mad with you. as for him spending the night, talk to her about it, tell her how you feel about the situation
2007-02-25 20:18:59 · answer #10 · answered by luv_rats 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋