I'm in a role reversal marriage where I am the sole breadwinner and my husband stays home as a full-time househusband. We have no children, but opt'd for this because when we do have children, he can get accustomed on what it is right to be a homemaker and not have to overcome that hurdle quickly.
We're both very happy with this arrangement.
On another question, I posted, I was ripped as follows. I was very hurt after reading this answer. I wonder - "Am I a bad wife?" Here is some of the feedback this one person gave me:
Wow, so your husband doens't want to learn to become a breadwinner and be a 'real man' that supports his wife and kids?
Instead, you are a career oriented woman who would like to have kids, but not be a 'mother' to them in raising them?
I think you should get your mind off of being a career oriented minded woman rather than wanting to be home and be wife to your husband and mother to your kids.
2007-02-25 08:08:46 · 26 answers · asked by Claudia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do you love each other?
Does the arrangement work for the both of you?
Are you both happy (you already said you were)?
If so, then it sounds like your only problem may be listening too much to what other people think about YOUR life. Listen to yourself and your own intuition...what is it telling you?
Your arrangement may not be the norm, but you already know that. My best advice is -- Don't subject yourself to judgmental, overly opinionated people, they are not on your team and they only want to make themselves feel better by putting you down. Trust yourself...you go girl!
2007-02-25 08:20:48 · answer #1 · answered by Kristine P 2 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Sweetheart, no you're not a bad wife. I'm glad one of the two of you will stay home to take care of any little ones that come along. It doesn't matter which of you stays home. It just matters that the two of you are making your future child a priority before he or she even gets here. What a very lucky child you will have. I wish there were more couples like the two of you that plan for their children and their wellbeing before the fact.
That person that wrote that diatribe to you is as wrong as she can be! If she thinks that how much a man earns is what makes him a man she's way out in left field. Feel sorry for her, her narrowminded views. She has no idea what she's talking about. Just because you have a career doesn't mean you're not a good mother! If a father with a career can still be a good father then why can't a mother still be a good mother if she does? The child will be nurtured and loved. It will have a parent staying with it every day and not in a daycare. I feel sorry for parents that both have to work and they are forced to get daycare for their babies. Keep doing what you're doing! You've got your head on straight. By the way I was a stay at home mom while I was raising my kids. I just wanted you to know that I am not biased in your favor for being in the same circumstance. Good luck Sweetie.
2007-02-25 17:06:28 · answer #2 · answered by mjm52 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
O.k. If you and your spouse are happy with the arrangement it does not matter what other people think. As long as he is not a lazy slob and when the children come along he will take care of them and bring them up to be a asset to society I see no issue with you being the breadwinner. I do not know your husband so I have no idea to what he does all day or if he is taking advantage of you. You will need to be the one to make the right choice for your life.
2007-02-25 16:30:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
my wife is a career oriented woman and she love that i take care of are son when she work yes i do all the cooking a clean and even the Landry but i all so work a full time job as a Art Dir and i am home before my wife so do not get down on it be the person you wont to be not what everyone thinks your should be. Good luck.
2007-02-25 16:28:17 · answer #4 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
HOnestly, if this situation works for you and your husband, dont worry about what someone on here says. THEY ARE NOT walking a mile in your shoes. Just when the time comes to have a family, dont let your career be first. Make time for your kids. If I were you, I'd delete this post. It is really NOONES business what works for you and besides you'll get answers like the one that upset you and who cares what that person thinks. Good luck.
2007-02-25 16:15:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
No, you're not a bad wife. I actually stay at home while my husband works. But, it doesn't matter if it's the other way around. He probably actually likes not having to roll out of bed in the morning and go to work. A lot of men might actually dream of that. Lol. Don't worry. You just like providing for your family, and your husband likes taking care of them. It's just reversed roles and there's nothing wrong with that as long as you two are happy. So ignore everyone else's negative opinion. Besides, they're probably just bitter unmarried, unhappy people anyways. :-)
2007-02-25 16:21:36 · answer #6 · answered by It's a secret... 2 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Don't pay attention to the jerks. You and your husband are both comfortable with these roles. You are willing to have children, even though it will temporarily disrupt your career and possibly the same rate of income. Why would you care what anyone else's opinion of either of you is. Sounds to me like you are both very mature in your way of thinking and even though it may not be conventional to how most couples live their lives - there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. As added input, nowadays with the economy in the shape it is in, job opportunites in many companies are more in favor of minorities, woman, and people with disabilities than for healthy men. Merely because the companies don't want the government accusing them of not providing equal opportunity employment.
2007-02-25 16:29:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
I'm a house husband and my wife earns most of the money....No role reversal here, I'm still the husband and she's still the wife...Just found what works best for us, we're happy. "Real Men" don't prove they are "real" through actions. I am a husband and father, and you are a wife and mother. Unless you are referring to the teaching of a church...then that screws everything up.
2007-02-25 16:59:59 · answer #8 · answered by Mike M. 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No. Marriage is designed and defined by its partners.
You know what your strengths are and you are maximizing your ability to make a good living. As long as both are content, then it is no one else's business who does what.
Consider the source, when noting answers here or anywhere else. You will not get along with everyone.
Many people care and try to help; other people just like to preach. Be at peace.
2007-02-25 16:27:33 · answer #9 · answered by Charlie Kicksass 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Your husband sure has it made in the shade! No children and he's staying home so he'll know what it's like? You are being U-S-E-D!!!!!!!
How long does it take to do the housework for just the two of you? You could both be earning good wages and saving some money for a nice home and a better life for everyone once you have children. I taught school while I was pregnant; stayed home three years while I had my second child and then went back to work. I still kept the house with no help and worked on my Master's Degree. He is taking advantage of you and you are buying his bag of tricks as gospel. WAKE UP!!!!! He needs to put his lazy A*S*S to work!
2007-02-25 16:19:37 · answer #10 · answered by missingora 7 · 3⤊ 4⤋