My Female friend made out with a coworker at a bar.?

Question

She and the coworker are both married. They where both drinking fairly heavily. She is feeling guilty. Should she tell her husband of 14 yrs or just keep it quite.

I will not say anything..she is my friend..This is her question.

Also - She does not drink often..This was an after work get together. The make out was witnessed by several people from her company.

Answer 1

Um.......keep it quiet. No good can come of telling her hubby! Especially if she has never done anything like this before, and does NOT intend to repeat it!

Answer 2

Things like that happen thousands of times a day and have happened for hundreds of years. Think what happens on business trips when male and female are partnered up,If there is an attraction between them and they are staying at the same hotel, well who knows what can happen. Now that's my point. Who knows? Do people know what DISCREET means anymore?
What happened,happened.It doesn't mean she doesn't love her husband. It doesn't mean he doesn't love his wife.
Why is it that people can't wait to blow the whistle on somebody; are you all in the 2nd grade? Her husband is going to find out anyway? Well, if you are all children, yes.
It could happen that someday any of you will be in the same circumstance.NO she should not tell her husband; may I add should anyone involved.All of you ,it seems, have watched too many soaps. Life isn't like that.

Answer 3

What good would come from her telling her husband? So that SHE doesn't feel guilty? That's her punishment for being an idiot. So if I were her I would keep my mouth shut. I would also pass on the next offer she gets to go out drinking at happy hour. Clearly she can't control herself or her liquor, and now her character is in question.

Answer 4

I'd have to put myself in the place of the husband of 14 years. Let's see....how would I take this if she were to tell me?

Probable responses:

"You're kidding, right? Even drunk, what were you thinking? How many other times have you done something like this and NOT told me?"

He's going to find out anyway. Better to hear it from her than through the grapevine.

I don't think that this is a marriage-killer, but it's not going to be pretty. She's going to have to earn his trust back if/when she does tell him.

And, if this is in reality - YOU - you have a lot of questions to ask yourself, as well.

Answer 5

People use alcohol as a lame excuse to behave the way they really want to behave.

Let's turn the tables. If her husband had done the same, wouldn't she want to know? And if it was the husband you saw tonguing it up with some tart, wouldn't you *run* to the wife to tell her?

Exactly.

Tell the wife she has 48 hours to let her husband in on it before you do the job for her. It's only fair.

Answer 6

Being drunk and making out with a co-worker is no excuse for the way she acted, and especially in front of other people who know her. She not only harmed herself, but mostly harmed her husband. She still knew exactly what she was doing and that doesn't give her the right to act inappropriately even if she wasn't drinking.

She should tell her husband and start being honest with him too. He deserves to know what kind of wife he married to flaunt herself and make out with a co-worker when this co-worker doesn't give a damn about his wife either. He obviously married a woman with no respect for him what so ever.

If she doesn't tell her husband, it will be on her conscious for a long, long time. And, that isn't fair to her husband. I mean she already portrayed herself as being a 'slut' in front of many co-workers, she is considered a bad person already. So, she should expect some bad talks going around where she works, she caused it! She is the one who is giving herself a bad rep and so is this co-worker.

Answer 7

I see this question a lot someone goes to bar and starts drink and then they end up doing something that later or sorry for.

I'm not buying this anymore, if you go to a bar and start drink fairly heavily and then do something you sorry for, your not sorry for it’s what you wanted to do deep down in side yourself, you’ll blaming alcohol, when it’s what you wanted to do, if you want to kiss that person then you do, if you want to leave with that person and go to the park and lot for a spin then you do, but we need to stop blaming alcohol and blaming the yourself. She needed to go home, now she may have put that in jeopardy

I say walk a way and let her deal with it she on her own on this one she made her bed.

Answer 8

They kissed and that was it? She made a big mistake and if she realizes that, and wants nothing more to do with the guy I would probably say forget that it happened. If she carries alot of guilt regarding the incident, she may need to come clean to her husband, and be honest with him. Perhaps their marriage is dull and needs spicing up, or perhaps there is distance there that needs to be addressed. If I were you, I would stay out of it.

Answer 9

I am a fan of communication. Besides which, her husband will probably find out eventually somehow. Then it will be even worse. Fess up now and deal with the consequences. If they really love each other they can work through it.

Answer 10

I would NOT just run and tell the husband unless he is a close friend.

She should do the apologizing before anyone tattles. If it happens again then I'd do the tattling.

Answer 11

keep quite unless there is more to it. if it was the one time, both drunk then not worth hurting 14 yrs. if more then better own up and stop.