Im 18 and pregnant with a boy. my boyfriend has been knowing and he went with me to see what it is. we got in a little fight and now he says dont ever call him EVER. Im upset and want to talk to him but i dont know if thats a good idea. i love him, but he wasnt faithful anyways. I want him back!!!! O, his parents hate me because of bs he lied about and he lives with them.
2007-02-25 06:22:51 · 23 answers · asked by Laura J 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Speaking from a man's point of view, this is his way of avoiding the responsibility of fatherhood. I will assume he also is within your age group and believe it or not he thinks by you not speaking to him it will make this situation go away. (Been there done that).
The hard thing is that you love him. I suggest you transfer that love to your unborn child. Though still a fetus, your child will form feelings received from you into emotions. Be strong for your child, if the father does not want to be part of your childs life be prepared to go through the proper channels to get support. Remember, you did not make this chid alone, find support groups, don't try to go through this alone. I pray for your strength and abundant love for your child.
2007-02-25 06:39:20 · answer #1 · answered by Senses 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
18 and pregnant. Wow. You're a baby, having a baby and the father is also a baby. I won't lie to you, you're in a hellishly difficult situation, but not an impossible one. I just hate that you're life has been interrupted this way and at such a young age.
You should be living life to the fullest right now--going to parties and considering college....instead you're taking pre-natal vitamins and debating the costs of the birth of your child. Your baby's father has an ethical, legal and biological obligation to help you out. If he doesn't have the stones to be with you, he must support you financially. You shouldn't have to go this alone. Nor should the financial burden be solely on you. Contact someone versed in family law. There are lawyers who'll do this pro bono (free) for you. You didn't get pregnant by yourself and God forgive his parents for shunning you...regardless of the "lies" he told them about you.
I think it would be best if you, your baby's father and both sets of parents get together and discuss the best way to deal with this situation. After all you're bringing a new life into this world. The baby can't or shouldn't be blamed because his parents weren't responsible and face it, you weren't. You're in a less than perfect predicament. Eighteen, pregnant and unmarried and the baby;s father is being a real tool about it. Do whatever you can to fix this. Hate the situation you're in...but love the baby. The little fellow deserves that.
Either way, welcome to your life.
2007-02-25 14:38:42 · answer #2 · answered by I am Laurie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, Laura,
This boy's just THAT, a BOY...NOT a Man as he needs to be, but you can't make him be a man if he doesn't feel like it himself.
what you need to remember is that he's been unfaithful on occasion, probably more than once. What does that mean to you and your child if you and he do get back together.
He's not really anyone you could count on so stop making excuses for him and kick his sorry *** to the curb.
You're a stronger girl than you give yourself credit for and with a new baby to care for, you'll find a brand spanking new reason for standing tall and taking the responsiblity your child will need.
Motherhood is a blessing and I'm sure you'll find this out for yourself soon when you get to look into the eyes of this tiny new person in your life. You'll feel the kind of love you never knew existed, I promise you.
In the meantime, ignore this unfaithful guy, and someone more suitable will come along.
When one door closes, another opens.
Good Luck, hon, and hang in there. You don't really need any chicken-sh*t little boy in your life, do you?
2007-02-25 14:41:48 · answer #3 · answered by Marilyn D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well honey, it will be his loss if he never hears from you again! The baby you are having will be a little person just like him, no doubt, Cut your losses and raise that little one proudly without him. If he has lied about you to his parents, then he has already shown you enough disrespect. This will pass and life will go on for you. One day someone who really cares will come along and steal your heart away. You don't need a guy who isn't faithful anyhow. Now you can raise your son not to be that way and teach him about being a REAL man. Hang in there, sweetie! Love hurts! And then life goes on.
2007-02-25 14:32:32 · answer #4 · answered by froggsfriend 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well things have a way of working out for the best. By the sounds of it, you are better off without a guy like him. Who cares what his parents think. Do you really want to have a baby? It's a lot of time, money and effort. And you are only 18, who is going to help you support this baby? There are other opitions out there for girls like you. You want him back because you feel a stronger bond with him now that you are having his child. If he is going to act this way, you are better off by yourself. Tell him if he wants to be like this and not be a part of your life or the childs then you at least want help supporting it (child support) You two are both in for it now, a child is nothing to take lightly, good luck, get rid of his sorry butt
2007-02-25 14:29:03 · answer #5 · answered by marriedsoon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Laura if you really need advice on this matter, then stop trying to push on your boyfriend for a while. Give him a little bit of time to realize his mistake. If he still does not come back to u, then do things which should make him feel ashamed of himself. It is a hard way of doing this but if u seriously love him and want a future for yourself and your baby(to be) then in my opinion u need to make his parents realize that you are serious about the relationship and want to carry it ahead (most probably forever). Try the Mahatma Gandhi path of truth and forgiving ...u will succeed for sure. And sure its a good idea to talk to him and his parents. Do not relent in your approach but also be cautious not to lose him by pushing on him -- an unknown friend :)
2007-02-25 15:11:46 · answer #6 · answered by night 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your boyfriend is a real looser. You need to go ahead and detach yourself from him now while you still can. You are not very bright yourself for getting pregnant at 18. If you have the baby then you need to have a paternity test so you can take your boyfriend to court to get child support. I seems like he is already trying to get out of supporting the baby by fighting with you. Be prepared to raise your kid by yourself and talk to your parents about helping you.
2007-02-25 14:30:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are pregnant with this guys baby..and all this drama is going on now...(and not to sound mean) but wouldnt it be common sense to NOT want your baby brought into this drama..If the parents hate you..and the b'friend is telling lies about you , being unfaithful and saying not to ever call him again...Sounds pretty obvious that you need to drop him like a bad habit and give you and your baby a fresh start on life and make it a much BETTER one without them in it...
2007-02-25 14:27:10 · answer #8 · answered by blondemom133 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the toughest of all situations because there is an innocent child involved. If you raise your son alone be sure he pays child support - try to put that money aside for his college education --- I realize that may not be possible.
The more difficult thing to do may be to put the boy up for adoption --- what do you feel is the best thing for the child?
What ever you do try to learn and grow from this situation and don't make the same mistake twice.
Good Luck and God bless you all.
2007-02-25 14:36:58 · answer #9 · answered by scottyusa1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in a tough, but all too common predicament. There are millions and millions of girls that have been in your same position. Keep in mind your boyfriend is just as much freaked out about this situation as you are. Having a kid is a huge step and hes going to act weird.
It may be tough being alone, but is he really the role model that you want your son to be around. Remember its not just about you and your life now, you have another person to care for. If he is a bad role model (which it sounds like he is), you may be better off without him. Its a lot easier for me to say it, then to do it, but put your child first.
2007-02-25 14:28:48 · answer #10 · answered by Dr. of Situational Psychology 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋