We have joint custody and a shared parenting plan. A month ago she tells me she is thinking about moving to a bigger city 30 miles away to be with her boyfriend of 2 months she met on the net. My oldest child is 10. She does not have any desire to go to school in a bigger city and has stated from the beginning she wants to be with me. My youngest is in special education here in this town. I do not think it wise to uproot either child. Should I go back to court to ask for a change in residential custody?
2007-02-25 06:19:55 · 17 answers · asked by ROBR 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I feel like I should add that her boyfriend is still married. Has not filed for divorce even though he has been seperated since Sept. My exwife takes my kids to his house to spend the weekends when she has them on their weekends with her. Not liking the example this is setting for my kids especially my daughter.
2007-02-25 06:53:20 · update #1
Absolutely. Your 10 year old has established family and friends in her school, your special needs son also has established family here. Me and my ex had a vicious battle before my boy was even in school and I ended up having to travel and uproot to be close to him. If you have it in your power to keep them with you, by all means do it. At least if it doesn't go your way you can say that you tried and fought, which will show you want to be in the children's lives....not alot of dad's can or will do that. Best of luck
2007-02-25 06:26:36 · answer #1 · answered by ZEROCOOL 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Moving to a bigger city for anyone is a big change... I think that you and you ex-wife need to sit down with one another and have a serious discussion about this. Remember that this talk is regarding 2 innocent children, not you and her... so don't let it turn into a heated discussion, but one to try and compromise with each other on. I know that if both of you keep the children as you #1 while talking, then a resolution to this matter should be one that you both can agree on without having to take this to court. Spend the money on the kids necessities ( clothes, food,school supplies ) rather then fighting in court.
Good Luck To You
2007-02-25 06:32:58 · answer #2 · answered by ***Girlie Girl*** 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The example he is setting does not have to come into play at all if he is a nice guy and treats the kids well, but it is a new relationship, and wouldn't that be a mess to drag the kids along and then not have it work out! Also, she has no idea how he would treat them, were they to be under his roof. Uprooting them is unfair to you and them, especially while she is in the stages of getting to know this guy.
It makes it more difficult for you to see them as regularly as you do now and they are happy where they are. If the eldest wants to live with you, she should be able to state this in court, although I don't know what age they'll allow the child to make a decision.
Personally, I believe that since SHE is the one who wants to move away, she should allow the children to remain if they are happy where they are and she can be the one to travel and take them to where she's moving on weekend visits, etc. She's disrupting what sounds to me to be a good situation.
If she has to move to be with this guy, she should do it, but to drag a daughter with her, who clearly doesn't want to go is thoughtless. If your youngest is doing well in the special ed program where you are, it is also unfair of her to take her out of it.
Yes - I think you should go to court and see what you can do about this.
2007-02-25 07:08:11 · answer #3 · answered by Plexed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I Would it sounds like she is more in evolved in this guy she met on the net than her children .get a lawyer and take her to court before she does move away .look at your divorce decree and it may even say that she has to go back to fill with a judge before she can even move ..the children to another city .if you guys have joint custody.
2007-02-25 06:37:51 · answer #4 · answered by Fisher 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what you're feelings are about your ex, always do what's best for the children. So before you get all gungho about going to court remember that she's trying to get her life back to normal and i'm sure she wants some form of relationship. Talk to her first. Let her know that uprooting your children for a guy she's only known two months isn't very wise. Warn her before you run to the judge, one it's the right thing to do, two it looks better for you in court that you tried to resolve it before taking that step. Always do what's in you're children's best interest.
2007-02-25 06:31:54 · answer #5 · answered by Miss Lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. I think a change in residential custody would be in order for the sake of the children. Uprooting one who only wants to be with you and another in special education would not make sense or be healthy for them. Your ex is making her choice clear.
2007-02-25 06:33:01 · answer #6 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can try, but if its stated in your divorce that either parent can move outside the county, then you might have a problem. I believe if the children are doing fine with the custodial parent, and that parent has the approval to move, then she probably can reside in a different area....Sorry
2007-02-25 06:35:23 · answer #7 · answered by Skinz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your ex really need to sit down in some neutral place and talk this out. Perhaps you can find out why this need for her to join her new b/f - Suggest that it should be he that joins her since she's got the children to think about too. If he's not willing or not able, the children shouldn't have to pay for their own unsettlement.
Your ex needs to think more about the children and less about her own needs.
30 miles and he can't visit with her? He sounds like a real winner (NOT !)
2007-02-25 06:26:59 · answer #8 · answered by Marilyn D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd go back to court if I were you. Your children have already been through enough changes in their short lives.
I'd be worried that the ex wasn't thinking this through. The fact that she's only know the guy for 2 months and she's moving with him tell me she's probably impulsive.
Your children need stability in their lives. If you can offer this to them, go to court and fight for them. Who says dads can't raise their kids? Not me.
2007-02-25 06:25:52 · answer #9 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex-wife needs someone to sit down with her and discuss her responsibility of being a mother. Perhaps you can talk with a Mediator in your county courthose they don't cost anything and often are very helpful. It would be best for your kids to have their mommy in the same city and you need to explain this to her. This is a sad situation and I hope you can work it out.
2007-02-25 06:26:20 · answer #10 · answered by divinity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋