I been married 3 yrs and I been with my husband 5 yrs. It has been 3 months since my husband was last employed, he is a complet bum. We have a 2 yr old and he is ok with our son I guess,but he could be better.He also smokes pot and hangs out with people I really dont approve of. I hate it, but at the same time I putt up with it and sometimes act like it doesnt bother me, the truth is Ithat I have changed into a complete different person. I am not the girl he meet 5 yrs ago, but he is still the same. The truth is that I want to end it, but he wont let me, he just does this things to me that make me weak in the knees. Now, work there's this new guy that we just hired and he is so cute and adorible and i know he is so into me, we went out to this training together and because it took the whole day I was able to have dinner with him, it was awsome. I am really feelng this guy, so what doest this mean now ? is it my own heart telling me to really forget about my husband ? im so confuse!! !!
2007-02-25 05:49:39 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Never get into another relationship until the old one is over and dealt with.
Talk with your husband about what you want from him and what you expect out of the relationship. Seek a marriage counselor and try to work things out. If after a time things don't change get a divorce and then and only then, find a new relationship.
Why make the situation more difficult and bring more baggage into the situation. Chaos is never good and in the end, you'll be the loser.
2007-02-25 06:04:52 · answer #1 · answered by trojan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't remember posting this? But it's almost my life exactly! In fact, my hubby had to smoke pot this morning just to "cheer himself up enough to hang out with me and our daughter". I guess I'm just lucky mine works. I too have grown up in the last 5 years, he has a little bit, but that's mostly due to constant nagging on my part. You're not his mother, don't take care of him. Maybe you would find him more attractive if he became a contributing member of society? I know that would help me in your situation. You just want the work guy because he's new and exciting and more attractive (and has a job). But, 5 years from now, do you think you'll feel all that attracted to him, assuming it turns into something? If you want to leave your husband, do it, you don't need him leeching off you, but do it for you, not because you found someone else. Figure out who you are without a guy, your life will improve so much!
2007-02-25 14:32:01 · answer #2 · answered by meh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off...you made a Huge mistake...second, you are making a second Huge mistake. Finish you first mistake (deal with it or leave) before you start another relationship. Be alone for a while and figure out what you want in a relationship then go out and search for it. Right now anything better than a "bum" is better than you have now...but you have to figure out how much more you want. Your ready to fall head over heals for a guy you just met. Your desperate right now, and that's no condition to be in when looking for a long term relationship.
2007-02-25 15:09:24 · answer #3 · answered by Mike M. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok. One, your husband is using "intermittant reinforcement" to keep you around. If you look through the bull, it will be easier for you to break out.
Two, the new guy at work - that new lust thing doesn't usually last. I almost always have a crush on "the new guy at work" but it's just greener grass. If you want to leave your husband, try EVERYTHING to make it work first. Then if it still doesn't work, then you can move on. But Don't do it because of the hottie at work, do it for yourself and your child. Everything else will fall into place.
2007-02-25 14:00:20 · answer #4 · answered by Ade 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Me and my wife have been together for 10 years, we have a 5 year old son, I guess my wife got bored of the same routine of living together and everything. I gained a lot of weight, and I guess the bf/gf magic was gone. So she ended up meeting this new guy, who I guess was cute and nice...at first!! and all guys are like that at the beginiinig, cause they need to get in ur panties, so they will pretend to be a gentlemen and everything...well she ended up cheating on me, and left me for him...2 years later, they could not stand each other, and he ended up cheating on my ex-wife, and now they r done, and now she regrets cheating on me!!
2007-02-25 14:17:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your marriage is on the rocks. You have some decisions to make. This new guy is just a red herring, distracting you from your real problems. He's not awesome, you're just vulnerable.
2007-02-25 14:09:01 · answer #6 · answered by tk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have grown up and your husband hasnt it is time to move on. if he smokes around your children that is even worse they could end up with any number of illnesses from the smoke. let go and move on there are real men out there who know how to take care of thier family no matter what!
2007-02-25 14:02:55 · answer #7 · answered by alana t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget about the new guy at work...think about your future and your childs.....make a plan to move on with your life...put some money aside and do it....you don't need to be exposing your child to deadbeats and illegal drug use....get a real life...you both deserve better...good luck
2007-02-25 14:00:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You both sound messed up. I say divorce and give the child up for adoption so that he has a chance in life.
Good luck!
2007-02-25 13:55:45 · answer #9 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋