Our divorce was final in September. I waited till I was in my 30's looking for the right one. I found her. We were both career driven. We just seemed to drift apart. Now I find that without her my life seems empty and void. I can't seem to stop thinking about her. we still stay in touch and I pray everyday that I'll wake up and find her beside me.
I've been through counselling, been on meds, sought advice from friends and family. Nothing seems to work. I've tried dating, didn't help. She completed me. She's agreed to spend sometime with me next month, I'm not sure if it's pity or what. What direction should I go? There is a whole part of me that is missing and it just seems to be getting worse and worse? Any advice would be great.
2007-02-25 05:29:28 · 9 answers · asked by choirboy5 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
same here going on,
share your feeling honestly with her and see what she would say
2007-02-25 05:33:25 · answer #1 · answered by west 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are suffering from the failure mode of your life. You chose a wife when you were still consumed with a career. It's not uncommon in today's society. Too many of us don't take the time to put into our marriages what we put into the rest of our lives and the marriage falls by the wayside. You are probably recognizing now what you should have seen when this all started going sour but were too busy to care about. For awhile you will continue to dwell on what if's. What if I had shown her more affection, what if I hadn't forgotten to pick her up flowers more often, etc. etc. This will pass in time. Trying to heal a broken relationship is hard if not next to impossible. When it goes the distance to getting a divorce it normally leaves some emotional scars on both sides that never heal and will cause pain over and over again if the relationship starts up again. Your best course of action is to stay cordial with your ex as a friend, but pursue a life without her for right now until you learn that you can survive alone. Holding onto something from the past will continue to bring you depression that will not let you get your life back on track.
2007-02-25 13:59:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are mourning her. To me divorce is like a death. You have to go through the grieving part in order to heal. I know thats not what you want to hear, but I have been through that myself. You are going to need time, however long it takes. I think its great that she agreed to see you. Is there any reason why maybe you two couldnt at least be friends? and talk occasionally? I really wish you luck. Dont date yet, you are not ready. You will be trying to just fill a void. No one will ever fill her shoes, at this point, but there really is someone out there that will again. Give yourself time. I really wish you luck. Keep busy and watch comedy movies. Thats what I did as stupid as that sounds. All the best.
2007-02-25 13:39:43 · answer #3 · answered by mlock123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is hard, but there is sunshine at the end of the rainbow. You say she completed you and that's where the problem is. You gave her to much of yourself and you need to get that back. A love in our lives should not complete us. They should only add to our completed selves!! You need to start completing and loving yourself. Your concentrating on her and not yourself. You need to get back to where you were before you met her. What did you do before your wife? Get back to that. Did you belong to any clubs..Bowling clubs, Arts and Crafts clubs, Book clubs. If not start! Joining clubs get you out with people and doing new things. No dating again is a bad idea because you are still hung up on your X. You need to stop talking to her. Stop calling her. And I know that's going to be really really hard. Believe me I did it. I took all the numbers out my cell phone, off speed dial, I just stop all contact.. Yes you will want her. Yes it will hurt. Try to think about it as this, think of a cut you got on you body, That cut hurt like crazy when you first got it. But over time it stop hurting. It healed. It got better. and the pain went away. The pain of your X won't stop until you let it. I stopped all contact with my X and after four months I went to see him at work had a little talk and realized he didn't complete me I completed myself... Good luck... Yes the journey will be hard but you can did it!!!!
2007-02-25 14:07:27 · answer #4 · answered by Tee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound depressed. Maybe talk to your doctor. I think that another female friend is the right answer. Doesn't have to be heavy duty, just to help you get over your ex. It is the only thing that might work. Don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself either. You must drag yourself out of this, or you will have a breakdown. Be good to yourself. Get out with a couple buddies, and have some laughs. You deserve it.
2007-02-25 13:36:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think meeting with her is only going to hurt you more, if you are living in the home that you 2 shared move out, start anew by doing things that you wouldnt do before, staying occupied with a new hobby, meet new people, you have to quit dwelling on your past relationship... I know its not easy but through time it will get easier especially when you start letting go....good luck
2007-02-25 14:03:31 · answer #6 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like your a very dependant person... What My advice would be is to not have any EXPECTATIONS... with her... If you have none... then you wont be dissappointed... A person does what they want and should always follow their heart... and if she doesnt wake up beside you... Its because she doesnt want to at this time... Just take care of yourself... Make sure your are who you are.... When she met you, you didnt depend on her as much... maybe thats what she doesnt like... Also, I would always say, act LIKE YOURSELF, dont tell her what she wants to hear or what you think she will like to get back with you, but be you and if it works out again great! if not.... I am sorry but at least you were true to yourself... Good Luck...
2007-02-25 13:38:00 · answer #7 · answered by Coach White 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably need to quit talking to her and get yourself busy. Go out with the guys and have fun. You sound like a nice guy and there is some lucky girl out there waiting for you. Wish it was me.
2007-02-25 13:36:54 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would move on if it were me because you seem like a nice man and deserve someone who will love you in return i know its heartbreaking im going threw it myself im seprated because of abuse it don't work when one don't love you
2007-02-25 14:00:27 · answer #9 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋